You know what sucks? I had a best friend – a soulmate – for five years of my life. And then our relationship took an odd turn and he stopped talking to me. It's been six months or so since our last conversation, and sometimes I still cry when I realize all over again that I'm probably never going to talk to him again. But I learned a lot during my friendship with him. I learned that human beings really can love unconditionally. And that unconditional love doesn't just happen between a parent and his or her child. I also learned that when you love someone unconditionally, arguments tend to last all of a minute or two at most, before the issue at hand seems to slide off of your skin like water off of a duck's feathers. And underneath your feathers, you're still dry and warm and happy. And you realize that whatever you were arguing about doesn't really matter, so you shouldn't waste your time about it.
I learned that being in love with someone, even romantically, doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex, or how physically attractive you think that person is. In fact, from personal experience, I have found that the way a person sounds – their voice and the tone that they use – is vastly more important than what they look like. But even more important than that – I learned that what is most important is what a person says and does. In the end, whether or not you think they're physically attractive doesn't matter in the least. What matters is whether they make you happy emotionally.
I learned that silence doesn't always have to be awkward. And that sometimes silence – comfortable silence – is the best way to enjoy someone's company. Even over the phone. I learned that talking to someone you love doesn't always have to be about impressing them. You can sound like an idiot and if they love you, they won't care. They might laugh with you – but never at you.
I learned that true friends are the ones who don't put up with your bullshit, and instead hold a mirror up to your face, point at your reflection, and go, "Stop that. It's not healthy and it's not getting you anywhere." I learned that true friends are the ones who give advice only when asked, and aren't offended when you tell them that they're advice kind of sucks.
Thinking back on it, I know for sure that I would be in a much worse spot mentally and emotionally today if I hadn't met him. And although my relationship with him didn't last more than a handful of years, I am glad that I was able to experience it. I learned that the boundaries society puts on people is usually completely incorrect. I learned that your parents are sometimes wrong about people, and sometimes they refuse to listen to you even when you know that you're right.
Here's my advice that you didn't ask for: If your gut instinct is telling you that you love this person – if you get butterflies in your stomach and your whole body shakes when you see this person – if you feel little bolts of electricity traveling through your body – if you can't help but stare at them – if you feel like, maybe, you've met them in a past life – if they seem so familiar to you, but you know you've never met them before – TAKE THE INITIATIVE and say hello. Introduce yourself. Get to know them. And don't be afraid to be honest with them. Don't be too scared to tell them that you love them. Don't hesitate to spend time with them. No matter what other people tell you. This is your time. Your life. Your chance at true love. Yes, it does exist. So don't screw it up. Even if it doesn't last forever.