I'm sorry, GOD, for the times that I forgot
what it meant to truly be alive,
for the times where I
would turn my
from the sky
and pray that you
couldn't see me eyes, and
the way that they burned so bad all night.
I'm sorry, GOD, for the nights that I would
cry, asking You to let me die
because I wasn't able
to sit at the table
wanting to slit my
wrists against the edges
and hang myself from the
window that the bright moonlight shone through.
I'm sorry that I tried to go to heaven
before it was my time to go.
I just wanted to see
before I did something
stupid enough that I would
never see Your light from down where
I'd end up. I'm fed up with the way that
I can't say I'm fine without
it being a lie, and
I find that
when I look to the
stars in the velvet night,
I can't lie to You when I look You in the eyes.
I'm sorry, GOD, that I want to stop existing.
My mind is twisting itself apart,
and my heart is so
just the slightest
touch, and I wish that You could
take me home and fix me and send me back to
where I came from. It's some cosmic joke
that the angels are laughing at.
I bet that they are
the broken toy on
Earth is asking you to make it
whole when it will always be shattered.
I'm sorry, GOD, that I'm tired in every way.
I'm sorry that I'm a lazy piece
of shit, and I know
that I curse
and that I
ramble when I'm
nervous, and that's the only
reason why this poem is so damn long.
I'm sorry that I'm not a good song.
I'm sorry that my melody
notes are stuttering out a
fractured harmony when it's not supposed to.
I'm sorry, GOD, that I don't want to change.
I like being broken, but I want
You to fix me anyway,
Mother thinks is best,
and She loves You so much, She
deserves nothing but the best from Everyone.
I'm sorry, GOD. I'm a bacterium
asking the greatest
thing in the
to make it
better as a favor when
I don't deserve the light of day that
You so graciously give to me.