The Dead Man
By Joseph Logsdon
Roger Coleman was dead. Nothing could be done for him, but something could be done for the people who stumbled upon his body. When they entered Roger's house, they expected to find an old man, but instead, they found a cold, dead body. Realizing that he was dead, Nolan and Meg had second thoughts about robbing his house. Being the soft guy that he was, Nolan wanted to call the police. Meg, on the other hand, wanted to collect.
"Well, he's dead," Nolan stated.
"Too bad, he seemed like a nice guy," Meg laughed.
"We've never even met the guy," Nolan stated.
"I know, he just looks so peaceful," Meg stated.
"We should call the police, shouldn't we?"
"The police, why?"
"Well, his family will want to know, I'm sure," Nolan stated.
"In case you've forgotten, we're criminals, not fucking messengers," she stated.
"It just seems wrong, that's all," he sighed.
"Within the next few days, I'm sure someone will find him. I mean, it's not like we're in the middle of nowhere, right?"
"You're right, I guess," Nolan stated.
"Well, now that you've admitted it, can we search the house?"
"Okay, you're the boss, after all," Nolan stated.
They proceeded to search the house. Since they knew the old man was dead, they didn't worry about making noise. They searched the house not once, not twice, but three times. By the time they finished, they didn't find anything worth stealing. Disappointed and tired, Meg attempted to leave, and she would have, if it hadn't been for Nolan's morality.
"Meg, we can't leave him like this," Nolan stated.
"What do you expect me to do, give myself up?"
"Well, we could call the police, but before the police arrive, leave and never return," Nolan stated.
"I don't know, it seems too risky," she stated.
"You're a very cold woman, I have to say," Nolan stated.
"I'm a cold woman, I've always been a cold woman. You, on the other hand, are a weak, foolish prick! If it weren't for me, you'd still be on the street. Well, let me tell you something, I don't need you, and I don't need anyone else, either! Why, just the other day, I pulled a job without you. So, what do you think of that? Does it hurt you, Nolan? I can go on without you, but you, I'm afraid, can't go on without me," she laughed.
"Wow, I never knew you hated me that much," Nolan laughed.
"Now, are you coming with me, or am I on my own?"
"As soon as we call the police, we'll be on our way," Nolan stated.
"You're still set on calling them, aren't you?"
"No matter what you say, I won't change my mind," Nolan stated.
"Go ahead, then, do it," she stated.
To Meg's dismay, Nolan called the police. When the phone call was over, however, he refused to leave. Angered by his stubbornness, Meg didn't hesitate to slap her partner in crime.
"Why are you still standing here, anyway?"
"I'm tired of running, Meg. Maybe, if I turn myself in, they'll go easy on me," Nolan sighed.
"There is no easy way, not for us. They'll find you, Nolan, and they'll make a monkey out of you. Tell me, do you want to be a monkey? I ask you, do you want to be a monkey?"
Before Meg could say another word, Roger's eyes opened. At first, they didn't want to believe it, but ultimately, they had to accept the fact that he was, indeed, alive.
"Be quiet, I'm trying to sleep," Roger stated.
"Fuck," Meg exclaimed.
"He's alive," Nolan gasped.
"Say, I don't remember inviting you," Roger stated.
"What should we do?"
"I don't know about you, but I'm getting out of here," Nolan screamed.
Realizing that they had made a mistake, the two criminals scurried out of the house. They knew that he was alive, but what they didn't know, was that the police were waiting outside.
"Stay where you are," the officer stated as he pointed his gun at the couple.
"Uh, we didn't do anything, we swear," Meg stuttered.
"You're under arrest," the officer stated.
"What have we done?"
"Attempted robbery," the officer replied.
"Where's your proof?"
"Mr. Coleman called us," the officer answered.
"How is that possible?"
"Apparently, Mr. Coleman decided to play dead. That way, he could keep you occupied, at least long enough for us to arrive. I must say, he did a good job," the officer laughed.
"You mean, that all this time, the old man was playing us?"
"He certainly took you for a ride, didn't he?"
"Officer, arrest us," Meg stated.
"You mean, you want to be arrested?"
"Given what just happened, we deserve it," Meg sighed.
"Well, at least I'm not the only idiot in this partnership," Nolan laughed.
"Nolan, for once in your life, shut up," Meg grunted.