Sinking into Grieving
Flare into long nights.
Makes a terrible mass.
These are just some of life's plights.
I was there, in the passenger seat.
I was hurting; from my head to my feet.
All I could think was "I'm alive"
And "Did he survive?"
I looked to my left at the body; vacant of all heat.
I searched for some emotion,
But my weary mind wouldn't process that notion.
My body ached, but my psyche was numb.
My tongue was useless…mute…dumb.
Coherent thoughts were more slippery than lotion.
It's funny how absurd
We sound when we're lost for a word.
Humanity is one of life's worst foes
Because we're miles apart even when close.
Silence may reign, but voices will be heard.
I know some of my bones shattered,
But those hardly mattered.
Everything was so quiet, but so loud.
We were alone within a crowd.
We were dead and battered.
I'm alive today,
Pretending to be okay.
I wish I could apologize for what I said,
But apologies don't fix the dead.
I'd still be an ungrateful bitch if it worked that way.
I lay in bed at night
And try as I might,
Find I can't sleep.
There are too many thoughts to keep
My thinking cap bright.
You know, that's what she'd say
If she was alive today.
The driver's seat
Could take the heat.
She died that night while I lay here, pretending to be okay.
I'm the older brother,
Wanted by my mother
To protect that little girl.
So now, while in bed, I curl
Up to try and dull a pain like no other.