Still Seeing You

10-24-14

I laid down all my hopes;

I laid down all my dreams.

I'm still trying to cope

With what you left with me.

For the past three years,

I watched you throw yourself away.

So now I watch through my tears

As you face your last days.

I go to the house we shared,

And I forget not to look for you.

I forget that you won't be there,

And I don't know what to do.

I lay down on my bed,

Thinking of all the good times.

My hands cradle the back of my head,

And my shoulders shake with the tears I cry.

I held you in the highest respect;

You were the sister I'd always wanted.

You weren't perfect,

But without you, I feel empty and haunted.

"Get up,"

I hear your voice call.

"That's enough.

You're stronger than I was, after all."

The more I listen to your words,

The more I try to live,

The less it hurts,

But no smiles find my lips.

I sit in the first pew.

It's your funeral, our final goodbye.

I clutch the flowers for you,

And for your sake, I smile bright.

It's been a long while,

But I still visit your grave.

Because it's for you, I still smile,

But I miss you more every day.

I try to focus on my work.

I do my best to make you proud.

"Stop looking for her."

"She's nowhere to be found."

But you're everywhere.

You're in my eyes,

You're in my hair,

You're in the earth, the sky, the sunlight.

You're in the ocean,

You're in our hearth's fire,

You're in the wind,

You're in the clouds and soaring higher.

You're in my head,

You're in my tears,

You're in your bed,

You're in my fears.

You're in my hopes,

You're in my dreams.

Though it's still hard to cope,

I'm glad you're finally free.