For the record: I don't own the Hovinds as this is drawn from their various webcasts as this is a work of fiction based upon my debate with Eric Hovind and on facebook I flat out insulted "Dr." Hovind . This piece explores a reality we're existent in – in contrary to religious literature I don't apologize in advance for the strong language, it exists in the real world as some parts of the story refer to tracks by Stone Sour's 30-30/150 and Exodus' 2004 track "Shroud of urine" though none of the lyrics are written into this. These two are historical figures in a scandal that were in the news back in the 1990s – I am making social commentary and I hope this is allowed. This is well don't know what to make of it but it's under webcasts. Hovind is serving a similar sentence to Chicago's Al Capone. He's a historical figure. Forbes chronicled all that unfolded and Nathan Dickey is the author of Inside the Mind of a Creationist (should been Youth Earth Creationist,) A Critical Analysis of Kent Hovind's Doctoral Dissertation. Patriot University is a correspondence school and uncredited. Tumblr - do a tag for "Kent Hovind" and "King James Onlyism" and you will find some weird, shocking things yourself.


The Things One Finds
Story By Nickolaus A. Pacione
Word Count: 2.424 Words

I don't know if I have the answers or the questions for this one, but as I look at archive footage of "Dr." Kent Hovind. The more I see of it the more in the depths of The Twilight Zone I end up wandering into. It takes me back to when I was a teenager as they had that fucking cartoon on TV38 (this was a Christian Channel in Chicago.)

To be honest the more one sees of this weird shit. The darker my comments get and even more grim reflections about reality I am because how disconnected many are with the realities that are forcefed on our digital wastelands. The thing being that I see – as he was from Illinois, and his son grew up in Kankakee, Illinois, as you see his "show" - if you can even call this a fucking "web show."

The question is – how much of "Dr." Hovind's life can be fictionalized into a bad soap opera. Oh great, joke about religion – yeah religion sucks but God is against religion. Five centuries plus of reformation, seeing what Hovind pulled is a fucking regression.

"What this author called me what – did he just say what I think he said," I could imagine him saying.

"Yes I said it, you fucking cartoon," I quipped.

"Must you swear every other word, you're a Christian you're not supposed to use that strong language," I had seen someone say then added, "What you are is an angry young man who created man made fictions."

Oh I can pin point the person who said that as I chased the e-mail with "shit, fuck and bullshit," in that order.

A correspondent said, "Sometimes nothing is more effective than a well placed 'fuck' to get the point across. Because you do have to wonder, do they dine upon their own shit and wash it down with a pint of piss."

As in their own piss as in drinking their own piss!

I am sure on would wonder within "Dr." Hovind's federal cell – as it would been almost ten years since they incarcerated his ass for a crime they also nailed Al Capone on too. With April 15, 2015 coming you know that's a tax criminal's nightmare – I wonder what his world will be like when he's released from the Federal prison.

"What a wonderful day that the Lord has made, and let Creation sing," I can imagine him saying.

"Shut up! You're a fucktard, you never passed a science class in high school and you call yourself a fucking 'science' teacher. I've seen what one author pulled with a single photograph and decimated your son's YEC claims with that one photograph," a long hair said as he was in passing with Hovind as he was wearing a Meshuggah long sleeve and on his account he was blasting Bleed by them.

"What photograph are you talking about?" he inquired.

"What you didn't see the photo that was floating around; it was the spine of his third book and a Christian who acknowledges a much older earth and does say Evolution happened. So much for your world imploding," he pulled out a poster with a drawing on it; one of my drawings with the middle finger and the eye in middle of it.

"What in God's green earth is that?"

"Come on you never seen The Night Gallery while you were incarcerated?"

The dumbfounded look on his face – almost like he never let Eric watch that stuff either; sheltered and crossed idiots than you can even imagine; when the imagination captures things one can't understand. We both agree that God had sent his son for us. Though I do wonder, how has he been sleeping since seeing that photograph? I am sure if Rod Serling was alive or had been done as a hologram like they did with Tupac – he would do the narration as this.

"Meet Eric Hovind, 36, occupation 'curator,' as he realized the delusion he knows and sees justified by a faith in God and devotion that one can't realize – the nightmare he opened the world to be as the photograph. A portrait within the subway in an urban landscape we call The Twilight Zone."

Eh – don't know; what is the thing that one finds on asking themselves, "Where the hell do they end up finding it – do I wish I found this?"

The whole thing with public figures sniping at public figures is as old as 20th century presidents with their posters – mudslinging as some call it. Well one thing comes to mind – two things sell, that's religion and Controversy.

Well when one sees my video blog they will hear me speaking to them in my Inland North Accent – a Chicago area accent, where one called me an Angry Young Man and I hear loud voices. I am Italian – my whisper is your soft indoor voice.

I know all the Italian profanity too – yeah it's disturbing as I look at these jokers with an evil realization stands before them if they were to try to pull open air preaching in Joliet or Chicago/ as I found myself proofreading an Evangelist's tract back when I was 20 years old; I circled the typos with a red pen.

I can imagine the look on their face with that one.

"Oh shit he's a writer," I can imagine when they are doing that.

I would love to imagine the look on their face when they realize I am published and an anthologist – but looking at webcasts; public figures can come in many forms. But here I am not rich or well-to-do reluctant to admit in 2008 that I am a public figure because I barely made enough money to make the bills.

I am sure to the mind if these two seen an anthology of horror stories with the basis of them coming from an urban legend or two; they'd see me doing man made fictions. Fiction is a reflection of truth if done right. As I am sure when I see the oil painting of a man in a prison jumpsuit with arms stretched waiting for a miracle he would never receive because God was pissed at him.

This creation – everything in the concepts within one's ideas and head, imaginations racing as you can't exactly cast them down. Well; public figures I can't own them but I can say when you see a web series you might ask some questions as sometimes what you see on never really fades away.

I wonder if these jokers still come to Chicago. I have to ask what their world be like if they can't answer science questions with science – digital science; as in what you see with the shows of your youth become the present archive of time standing before us. I know I will admit; humans are weird animals.

"That photo – I really do loathe this thing. It's almost like this man two years my senior is mocking me," the younger Hovind could see on his computer screen when the one looks at his web series and the more I look at it the more annoyed at his idiocy I would get.

I am sure his followers didn't like the grisly analogy of Megalodon chomping one of Noah's animals in two – for argument's sake; let's say that the earth was 6000 years old. You would see this prehistoric shark in the water according to the computer recreations it was eating 50 foot whales and bit them in two. Now imagine that was a large animal from the Ark falling in with that in the water and this was long before John Williams composed his famous theme.

Face it – Noah was a drunk. King David bagged a lot of women – Christ told religious leaders to fuck off and the Apostles spoke greatly about race. So that narrows it down about how gritty I see my faith in God as I take a grittier look at this – the question comes to mind. Would Hovind take the Book of Job more to heart because God was questioning Job and leaving no resolution?

I am sure the King James Onlyists in the room will see this and groan in disgust – yeah yeah; sit down and shut up already. Shit or get off the pot.

"Gasp, such strong language!"

"Well the word of God wasn't immune to strong language – something about dining on one's own shit and drinking one's own piss comes to mind," I would retort.

What is the great falling away one should ask – and who is doing it?

The answer is, I don't know.

The whole thing that comes to mind – when you approach ideas and looking at these old webcasts of "Dr." Kent Hovind; you don't know if he's serious or eating his own shit. As in pulling down his undergarments on a dinner plate – pinching a loaf, then chow down.

Bullshit – it's what you having for dinner.

I know I will see what's coming of Revelation – the various kind of thing that might end up written in the pages of The National Inquirer; oh lovely, I will have someone saying "he's joking about tabloids."

I am sure there is some dark subject matter lingering around in my friends heads as I am sure some of you are on this site might figure out what to make those webcasts. As they haven't been updated in two years time – a realization and knowing that there is a sense of dread when "Dr." Hovind is released back into society. Harmless – physical harm to others he might be, spiritual harm is the other thing like Joel Osteen where he says and claims, "Everything is fine you will be okay, today is just another great day."

Cut the bullshit – every day is a funeral; as when I sat outside of my apartment it was a nice day to watch one. I am sure that I am taking Matthew 24:2 to heart – no man had deceived me like what I saw when looking at the Hovind videos.

"Hovind – welcome to the dead generation; I am sure you are changing the story and the ending is always boring," I mutter under my breath. I always wanted to toss a KVJO into a thrash metal mosh pit when Exodus is live especially when they are blasting out The Scar Spangled Banner; as we're the dead generation – generations who had seen blood upon their hands because of gangs then one two years older than me. Tupac bleeding out as he did nothing wrong – yeah I can see a sketch of a man with combed back hair with a finger extended.

"Are you one of them? A hypocrite!"

What is the realization they have they are the fallen away – as The Twilight Zone they are they've preach, what they see become is what they get.

I can see why my best friend isn't religious; as he wrote a paper in detail about it in college – I believe in God but I am not that religious because it never was about religion for me.

"Oh say what you motherfucking see," well when crimson dead bodies of those dragged to the guillotine of persecution. I am sure they don't really illustrate the world without Christians or a world without heroes; when we lay face down in the mud with a bullet in our heads because the colors we wear.

"Tell me Hovind – have you ever seen someone laying there with their eyes open? Not sleeping or dreaming – but touch their flesh it's as cold as the morgue," I grimly ask the question as one might ask if they seen something other than angels or demons. We the people and for the people – blood across eastern sands; an American ideal as old as time itself when Iraq they were fighting to the death for years. When you grew up in the Chicago Metropolitan area; entering your twenties they don't even cover gang activity on the front page because it became no big deal.

"How do you explain the gang activity?"

"Uh – Satan!"

I am sorry man wrong answer. Read the newspaper and read between the lines as well as the book would be pages dripping with the blood of Christ. Do you even read anything about Chicago or Joliet; as I am sure your daddy doesn't allow you to listen to heavy metal.

"Heavy Metal is of the devil!" I can see him screaming.

I am sure he'd imagine on my blogs loud heavy metal blaring as I am doing video blogs studying these web series that are going around; wondering what the fuck I can make of them. I am sure they'd be running out the room if someone is telling a ghost story at Christmas time – that's a tradition in Victorian England.

"Avoid talking about ghosts, phantoms and the netherworld – it's making me uncomfortable," I can see someone saying to me about the dark subject matter and saying I shouldn't prosper from dark subject matter. I am sure The Bible speaks about Ghosts – the parable about The Rich Man and Lazarus; the Rich Man begs to return as a ghost to warn his brothers. That explains how ghosts are not angels and demons but something else – they were us at some point in life.

The ghosts within the ideas and mind; I have to ask Hovind has he ever seen ghosts or something paranormal. When you see the paranormal webcasts online and the webcasts of Hovind – there is the question that is tempted to ask; has he ever seen a ghost?

The things I don't want to admit to finding at times and the things I find; there is room for discussions in a diner late at night over a large mug containing a cup-a-joe that's black.

I don't know and I will admit, even as a Born Again Christian. I never claimed to have the answers to every question because if I did I wouldn't have been studying philosophy in college. But when the King James Only types – they're crucifucked in a shroud of piss when they are approached by those who are intelligent thinking, what the hell have I got myself into.

What I say to you, the reader it's up to you to either take at face value or look at it deeper than what I am revealing to you. If you are shocked by a Christian dropping the word "fuck" this is a new era; please get with the program.