I want to love you,

but I'm note sure I know how.

.

I don't know how to take your hand

without wishing it were smaller and thinner,

without wishing it were softer and darker,

without wishing it were the hand

my pencil mimicked on paper

while drawing someone

I wished you were.

.

I don't know how to kiss your lips

without wishing they had braces behind them,

without wishing they were smoother,

without wishing they would smile

against my cheek and take

my breath away so

easily.

.

I don't know how to say, "Goodbye,"

without wishing I were holding her inside my arms,

without wishing she were curled against me,

without wishing her smile was pressed

against my chest, and I were

only telling her in the

sweetest of

voices,

.

"Goodnight."