HOME PLANET
The mission was scheduled for tomorrow morning. We leave at first light. I don' t get this obsession with early ours they have here in the military even when we leave for outer space. Does a handful of hours make any difference in a 2 months-journey?
We will be in cryogenic sleep, so it will feel like minutes to me, but I'm nervous nonetheless.
I have always been an outcast here, given my appearance that gives away my origin. Few of the likes of me have ever stepped out of the basic jobs we were assigned to when we arrived on earth. Most of us don't mind, they chose exile from their planets, or have came to explore earth, and are willing to live the experience as it comes. But I didn't choose it. My mom did, apparently, she chose this planet because the human soldier she fell in love with came from here. But when she signed up for the program of cryogenic sleep she didn't know she was pregnant. And no one bothers to check "the spooky whitelings" as they call us. She died in the sleep, but they kept her alive but unconscious long enough to give birth to me.
On hind sight, could have been a mistake. A whiteling half-breed, that I am, and it didn't make things easy for me on earth.
White hair and golden eyes, on skin as pale as chalk. The ghost, I was called, the witch when my eyes begun to glow during puberty. Also, I was a monster in my own eyes. I had no one to tell me how my race was, what it was capable of or what our traditions were. I was raised as a human, by various orphanages and foster families, who gave me up, one by one. I was too strange.
I met lots of other space travelers, but never another whiteling (I didn't even know my own race's name), I was alone.
When I heard the military explored every know planet within reach, I decided I would get in, no matter what. I had the thin hope one day I could visit my own planet.
I had luck. This was my fifth year in the army. I had easy way into the ranks, as it turned out my race was impossibly strong and fast, and I had my slender and tall figure by my side. My superiors saw me as a good investment, my comrades as a rival, a filthy whiteling witch.
But I didn't care, I was used to be pointed at and avoided, I managed well on my own. In fact, the army gave me a kind of freedom I never had before. Being kind of antisocial left me loads of spare time during my teenage years and early adulthood. I used to go to the gym in the orphanages, but in city gyms I was ways stared at and felt awkward. I spent my days reading and watching TV mindlessly.
In the army I had a gym where I could work out anytime, and people didn't stare as much. Also, the tiring trainings and night turns kept me busy and exhausted. I slept a lot too. I almost felt normal.
My hard work brought me to this mission. Someone said it was risky for me to go on my home planet, where contacts between humans and my people were in bad shape and conflicts were all but unusual. But I earned it. I accepted the mission.
I was instructed on all human knew about us. Little enough that was. What they told me about our physical abilities I already knew it of myself, and the glowing they couldn't explain I knew it was due to puberty, and duly informed them of it. They trusted me better after that.
As I said, I'm leaving in the morning for my home planet. I couldn't be more nervous.
The staff on the cryogenic sleep station eyed me cautiously while performing he procedures on me. They asked me medical question, and I assured them I was perfectly sane.
"Not pregnant either?" a short woman with tied up brown hair asked, frowning. I wondered if she was old enough to be with my mom when she was put to sleep and I was born.
"No" I simply answered, swallowing the bitchy comment I wanted to voice.
I was sound asleep seconds after.
I think I dreamed, but they say it's impossible it cryogenic sleep so I must be wrong. But as I open my eyes what seems two minutes after falling asleep but it is really two months, I can't shake this feeling of expectation. I dreamed the world out of that door, I dreamed the planet I come from, and I can't wait to see if my dream was realistic.
Foolishly enough I hoped to just go out of the ship and see the world where I really belong. All I see is military buildings enclosed by a fence. Everything is gray here, nothing to do with the bright greens and blues and yellows of y dream. But of course, that was a dream.
They give us masks to breathe the hostile air here. I look at it in my hand wondering if I could breathe my home planet air, or the human blood in me makes it impossible. I take a deep breath of oxygen in the mask and then lay it aside, taking the chance. I feel the smell of a different atmosphere, but as I inhale, I realize breathing also comes easier here than on earth. The kind of easier you never knew was possible, and now you do, and you love it.
I proudly step outside to follow my comrades, everyone staring at me, as usual.
There are all kinds of people. Soldiers of course, but also scientists in lab coats, and doctors with first aid kits with them. All wearing their mask. I'm not. I belong here.
We are left to settle here and recover from the cryogenic sleep, that supposedly left us exhausted for the day. I feel fine, and I wander around asking questions. Many don't answer me, they just stare and leave, or motion for me to leave. But I learn a lot. I learn our army is trying to settle agreements with my people for a fair share of land to hold as ours. For embassy purposes officially, for research, the head of the labs tells me, to drain the planet clean of every resource we lack of on earth, I hear around. I'm more inclined to believe the latter.
The night comes faster than I expected. The days must be shorter here. Not a sign of decreasing activities is seen. Humans are persistent in keeping their 24h a day rhythm. The fact that a day here is less than 24 hours won't stop them.
My squad has been sent out in a scout of the zone. It's something new. We never cross the line that divides the share of land we occupied without consent from their land. Their as in my people's.
I admit that I am curious to meet them, but they tell me it would be unfortunate, no one ever survives an encounter with one of them. They don't want us here. And I could see why as soon as we stepped out of the base camp.
The colors of my dream seem to be before my eyes now. The biggest tropical forest I've ever seen extends before me to no end, as far as we know. And we managed to create a sterile and gray base military camp here, destroying part of this.
Something else hits my eye. Me. My whiteness becomes part of the place. You'd think I'd stand out, white as I am, but my skin reflects the colors around me, I become part of the forest and my own comrades stare at me suspiciously.
"That's not natural." one whispers.
"Not for a human." I spit back, surprising even myself."I'm not human." I walk to the head of the group, and no one protests. I make my way into the forest, refusing to point my shotgun in front of me as he others do. Weirdly, I trust this place more than I ever did earth.
We walk around until the daylight fades, I esteem a day here is about half of a day on earth. We set he tents, one for the men one for the women, but I drag my sleeping bag outside. I want to sleep under the stars tonight. No one dares to order me otherwise, at night people fear me, as my eyes glow even more intensely and make people feel uneasy in their own skin.
I roll in my sleep, unable to let the darkness, the complete, thick layer of dark, bring me to sleep. I feel watched.
And I am. As I roll to my side again, I can swear I see the glowing of eyes in the dark, among trees. It's gone a second later, but it's too late. I jump on my feet silently, and walk over the spot where I saw the eyes. A hiss stops me. Is it one of them? Are they hostile? I feel the urge to touch them, to feel white skin on white skin.
Then a noise startles me. I turn abruptly. A bird has flown away. But the urge is gone, as I suspect is whoever was staring at me.
Sleeping is near impossible after that, and I don't feel the exhaustion taking over. I end up chanting old lullabies in my head, all night.
Another day of scouting, no news apart from some strange animals my companions nearly shoot. I don't blame them. When a giant six-footed thing with feathers all over and horns on his back charges at you, your first instinct is to shoot.
My wasn't though. I stood there and stared, and the beast stopped in front of me, motionless. I eventually grazed its thick skin, and that one ran away with a shriek. Somehow I didn't think it was scared. Happy rather.
At night though, my comrade Jonathan was sick of it. During dinner it begun.
"They made a mistake sending you out here. You are going either to go crazy or turn your back on us and join the wild bastards. It's your nature." he yelled over his meal. I kept silent, and ignored the feeling of being watched once again.
"She's going to get us killed I tell you!" no one else joined him, but I could sense their approval. They agreed, they only feared me too much to say it.
I sighed and laid my sleeping bag down again, waiting for them to go to sleep. They did eventually, but while I wondered why I seemed to be perfectly fine without sleep I heard someone stepping out of a tent. I was standing in no time, thanks to my trained body I was fast and silent.
In front of me, Jonathan was frowning."Always thought you were a traitor bitch." he spit. "You act like one of us but yet you fear us as enemies."
"You sneaked up on me while I was sleeping in a supposedly hostile environment, was I supposed to stay still?"
"Don't play with me you whiteling bitch!" he growled. I saw his fists ball, and the image of an angry bull flashed before me. I stayed still now. "What use are you huh? You are scheming against us, it's obvious, and yet they keep you." he grinned."You're someone's whore aren't you?"
The thought made me want to puke. "Don't be a moron"
"Yeah, you are right, who would ever want to fuck such a disgusting whiteling." he spit again, in my direction. It hit my bare foot. " Could serve to teach you a lesson, bitch." he grinned "You know what, I will sacrifice myself for it."
As I took in the mean of his words he plunged at me and I moved aside to avoid him. But something else, someone else, made his appearance.
From behind me, a figure jumped on Jonathan and laid him on the ground. A white, tall man was hitting Jonathan's chest, and soon I saw red blood smearing his white skin.
The man turned. I had barely taken in his white hair and eyes when he got up and grabbed my wrist."You come" he growled with a low voice I felt deep in my stomach. Then the shockwaves begun, starting from where he touched me. I saw his face fading in front of me, and before I knew it, I was fainting, and he swooped me up and carried me away in the dark. Then I just went into darkness.
I feel cold, and fresh, and then my head aches, trying to wake. But I can't let it, it hurts too much. I slip into darkness again.
When I try again it feels much better. My head has stopped spinning, and before I can open my eyes I realize the freshness is still there. My eyelids rise, slowly, and I focus on what's in front of me. Trees. Obviously. And a noise. A noise of tearing and pricking flames. A smell too, of fabric burning. I try to sit up. I can't move. So I try to speak.
I manage a moan, and the noise stops. The man from last night comes into my view. I can barely make out his features and he is out of it again. I feel his hands on my back, he pushes me in sitting position.
"You awake" he speaks our tongue, English that is, roughly. I wonder if he understands.
"Yes. What happened to me?" I speak clearly, looking at him. His white short hair and skin attract my eyes, I can't take his eyes off the first of my race I ever see.
He frowns, supposedly looking for the words he needs. "You speak Groaeshi?"
That must be their... MY tongue! Needless to say I don't.
"No, I was born on earth, never met one of us."
Us, felt odd to say it.
He frowns. "I speak few." his broken English reminds me how different I am from them.
"It's ok." I try to smile.
"Me try tell you." he fixes his white eyes on mine. "Me touch you, you have Exis. Know Exis?"
"I don't. I know nothing of our race."
"Exis when you know. When you complete." he sighs, obviously trying hard to explain. "Exis when a Gishi male touch other Gishi female, or opposite. You touch first time and Exis happen."
I had to be stupid not to get his explanation, but something still escaped my brain. What was I supposed to know now? Obviously I had never touched a male of my species, which I assumed was a Gishi, but what now?
"Ok. You touched me and I got this Exis right?" he nodded "What should I know now?"
He frowns. "Me no sure is safe you know."
It's my turn to frown. "You don't think I should know?"
"You half"
I nod. "Yes, I'm half human, how did you know?"
He points at his eyes and then mine. My eyes are golden, his are white. Am I different form the rest of our race? I have no way to know. But this didn't answer my question. "I can't know because I'm half human?"
He shakes his head. "Many halfs, many men like our women." I shudder at that. I can imagine what 'like' means.
"You with them"
Then I get it. I am a traitor. I am with the invaders of their land, and yet I am of their kind. How is he supposed to know on which side I stand? To me, that's not even a question. They are my people. Humans never were.
"I am a friend. I grew up on earth. The only way to come here was to join the army."
He shakes his head. "Me no think you dangerous" now grinning
I smile. "Good, I am not."
"You weak, you no danger to Gishi." he grins. "But you friend? No know"
My smile fades, I am weak in their eyes. I was always strong among humans, but here, among my own people I am nothing but a suspect traitor.
I should have known it wouldn't be that easy to find my place here.
I sigh and accept his distrust towards me. Only then I notice why I have been feeling so fresh. My clothes are gone, in their place I'm wearing a light deep green tunic, of a weird fabric I have never seen. Only my underwear was still in place.
"Hey! Did you change me into this?" I ask the man still staring at me.
"Yes" he said expressionless.
"It's not polite to undress people without their consent" I scold him lightly.
He frowns as if not understanding my words. I feel like he has, he just pretends not to.
He raises an arm and grabs my wrist again. I jerk it away, in vain, his grip is too strong, in fear of another shockwave.
"Here danger. We go."
I nod and get up with him pulling me along. Soon he starts running, and I follow. We run through the forest like I have never ran before. I feel free, I feel complete.
It's night again when we stop in a cave hidden behind some bushes. I figure I should ask him more.
"What's your name?"
"Woman tell name first." he doesn't look at me.
I nod. "Ok, my name is Kaemorel. He humans call me Kay."
"I will call you Kaemorel." he turns to me. "You speak, I learn." he grins.
Obviously he is picking up my language, he already improved! It's amazing.
"Ok, what is your name then?"
"Kylian." he states.
"Kylian, what will happen now? I don't want to go back to the humans."
He laughs, actually laughs in front of me. "No back to humans, never." He grins. "For Gishi rules, you mine. I find you, you mine."
The word mine hits me as a rock. His. He is notably stronger. I would be helpless against him.
Without warning, my body acts on his own, an image of a running lion before my eye, I run.
I sprint out of the cave, run in the jungle-like forest like I was prey. And I was. Kylian runs after me, I can hear him.
I am not tired, not yet. I run as fast as I can, seeking shelter with my eyes as I pass by the strangeness of this place.
As I run past a huge tree I hear a loud screech in my ears. I cover them with my hands and just keep running, the tunic sliding up my sides.
Then he crushes over me, sending me right on the ground. We are both panting.
He growls. "You no fear me. You mine because I saved you, no find, save." he corrects himself pinning my arm over my head with his. He is straddling me. "I protect you, you mine. You no run, dangerous for you here, you know nothing."
I can do nothing but stare up at him, terrified of his closeness, but a bit reassured by his words. Protect? Is that what being his means here?
I could live with that. I can't live off this land on my own anyway. And I don't want to. I came here to be with my people, he is my people.
He gets up and offers me his hand. I take it and I am pulled up against his chest. I step away embarrassed.
"You are a good runner." a complete sentence. Damn he's good. "You not so weak. You can learn."
I smile. "Sorry I ran off. You scared me. Being of someone's property means some horrible things on earth."
He grins. "This no earth. I teach you things, you can be one of us. When is time we go to council, get you in the Gishis. We fight."
I don't really get the fight part but I like the rest, at least what I think it means. I can be with my people.
Time passes quickly. In that cave we seem to have all we need. I figures out I, and all the Gishis, don't need sleep here, if not sick. On earth the different atmosphere made me weaker. Here I am complete. For real. The Exis turned out to be the out coming of some sort of special ability each Gishi has. I seem to be able to electrocute people. We found out with Kylian laying on the ground shaking a few times. I control it better now. It's weird though.
I also found out that pure Gishis have white eyes, half-breeds have colored eyes. My golden eyes are peculiar even for a half-breed, Kylian says he's never seen that color.
He picked up English real fast. Turns out he has been studying humans to learn the language and have a friendly talk with them, sort out the conflicts. He's a genius, he knows more of the war machines used here than I do, and he is a good teacher. I am starting to learn his language, MY language too. It feels easy, my brain feels more powerful here, I remember more things, I understand things quicker.
Plus, he trains me, in fighting of course, and teaches me how to survive in this place. It is not so hostile as it seems. Also, most animals love Gishis, and respect us. Life would be easy and perfect if humans didn't come to disrupt the balance.
I'm learning the uses and rules of my people too. And I am fascinated by it. As a woman, I can be of someone or not, it is my choice, but if I stay on my own the males not protecting anyone are in charge of my safety.
Women are protected not because weak, but because the race will perish without them, as it once nearly happened in a war against another race that now lives underground.
Our lifespan is ten times a human's, and therefore children are rare, a precious gift we cherish and love. I can't wait to see children of our race, white and slender. Kylian says they are special, they have special abilities that disappear with age, and then they slowly grow into the one ability they will master. The Exis happens at a very young age, infact. When the baby is a week old, the father, or the closest male relative, gets to touch the baby, and it all begins. I am an exception.
At night I learn the language, we don't need sleep, so we speak.
"Kylian can I ask you something delicate?" I ask in our mother tongue.
"Of course" he answers.
"Will I be well accepted, among the other Gishis?"
"You will, you have become the perfect Gishi woman, no one will want to send you away."
"Thanks to you." I smile
His smile is sad though, and I can't help myself.
"Kylian there is something you are not telling me."
"There is." He confirms "I don't want to scare you."
"Please, tell me."
He sighs, leaning his back on the wall of the cave. I sit down next to him and place a hand on his shoulder. I learned to be more expansive towards him, he seems to consider physical contact no big deal.
"For the Gishi law, when I claim you as mine you are mine in ALL aspects, if you accept of course." he begins. "You did accept, but you didn't know what it meant, I can't hold you to it. I taught you everything I could out here, far from anyone who could make you respect the unspoken pact. When we'll go to them, you will be free."
I frown, not really sure of what that means. "Yours on all aspects? You mean... Like romantically?"
"I mean sexually, that's what the pact wants, love is another thing, it is not part of the pact."
I uncomfortably shift a bit further away, unconsciously. "You want that?"
He sighs and closes his eyes. "No"
Deep down I am disappointed, but realistically, I know he couldn't. He could never find me, a half-breed with golden eyes, attractive, right?
"Of course..." I whisper "Who could ever want that with me?" I half hope he didn't hear me, but of course he did.
"What is that supposed to mean?" he turns to me, his hand now seeking mine. I let him hold it.
"I mean... I'm half human... Probably look hideous to... The males of our species... To you." I add whispering.
I didn't expect him to correct me, but he does more than that.
His hand cups my cheek and I feel him coming closer. I stare down at my hands on my lap. His voice is tender.
"Don't ever say that. I, and all our males I am sure, find you marvelous." he pushes my chin up, staring in my watery eyes. "Your eyes are beautiful, exotic, and I could drown into them." he seems to notice what he said and recollects himself. He scratches his neck with a hand and looks at me, worried. "Sorry."
I ignore the useless apology. "Still you don't want that kind of pact with me."
He sighs again, deeply. "No, I don't. Because I don't want you to be with me because of a pact. I want something else." he has shifted so that we sit in front of each other now. And he is close.
My eyes widen. "Something else? Like... More?"
"Yes." he breathes deeply and I can see both hope and fear in his eyes.
"No pact then." I whisper taking his hand and placing it on my side, in the affectionate gesture he taught me. "More."
For a split second his own eyes widen in surprise. Then he's on me. His lips crush onto mine and I can smell his skin from this close.
I raise my hand to slide it on his neck, as always, the contact with his skin makes me shiver, I know it's because I want more.
He's pressing me on the wall, and slowly we slide down on the ground as he kisses my lips again. His tongue probes out of his mouth and tastes mine. I can't help but moan into his lips.
A growl rips from his throat. And he pulls away enough to speak. "I can still stop... If you want" he whispers.
"Don't" I murmur, and then lick his lower lip, missing his taste.
The growl is deeper this time, and he kisses my mouth hungrily, tasting it all.
He traces a path down my neck, leaving me to quiver underneath him. His hands tug at my tunic, and rip it in the effort to get it out of the way. I discarded my underwear in these days, so he has all of me before his eyes.
"You are gorgeous." he licks down my chest, and kneads my breast in his hands. I watch him doing so, not quite believing it.
"Kylian..." I half moan half whisper his name, and clutch my hands on his back, digging my nails on his white flesh when his tongue circles my nipple. And then he sucks and nibbles at it, and I can't hold my moans anymore. I feel my nails cutting his skin, drawing blood. "Sorry..." I whimper.
He groans. "No, don't be. You couldn't know but..." he raises his head to smirk at me. "Gishis respect fierce lovers as strong people. And besides..." he grins "I loved it."
I smile at him, reassured. His hands trail down my body and slowly graze my slit. I shiver, and spread my legs further for him.
"Please tell me you've never done this before." he whispers, eyes closes. I can see his hands trembling. He really is afraid he's not my first. Useless fear.
"Of course I haven't. I was the whiteling monster on earth, remember?"
He growls and kisses my stomach. "Good. I think you are gorgeous, and I'd be so crazy right now if I were to know you were someone else's before..."
"I wasn't, just yours, all your...AH!" he inserted a finger in me, drawing a scream out of my lips.
I hear him growl again, as he kisses his way up my stomach and chest until he covers my mouth once more, his finger wiggling inside me.
I am short of breath, and as I moan into his mouth he bites my lip. "Mine" he groans. I feel his erection rubbing on my thigh, and surprisingly enough I feel excited at the idea, not frightened.
"Yours." I moan as he pumps his finger in and out. I feel heat inside me, something is begging to explode and be let out. I can barely hold on to the electricity that wants to be set free.
Just before my release he slips his finger out and takes off his pants, of the same fabric of my tunic. He never wears a shirt, so he is naked now, in all his whiteness.
I gauge at him, and I unconsciously bite my bottom lip, staring.
He grins. "What is that in your eyes, Kaemorel?" he leans down on me, covering my body with his. The contact with his skin is intoxicating. "Did I see lust in your eyes?" he asks, a hair from my mouth, while his member rubs on my slick slit, drawing moans out of me.
"Would that be bad?" I joke.
He grins. "So you do want me."
I nod, unable to form a coherent sentence while he pushes my pussy lips open.
"Then have me." he kisses me deeply and all at once he is inside me. I would have screamed of pain, but it was right away drowned out by pleasure. The moan that rips from my throat is pure ecstasy.
His growls are louder and louder the faster he moves, and he soon has me quivering underneath him.
When I feel close to the edge again I grip onto his shoulders and wrap my legs around his waist. He knows it, he moves faster, and groaning and screaming my name empties himself inside me as soon as my walls clench and his name rips from my lips.
He lays there spent, as my finger trace patters on his back.
Then a whisper. "Did I hurt you?" he asks worriedly
"No, you didn't, it was... Perfect."
He looks at me and I can finally name the warmth I see in his white eyes. Love. And he confirms it. "I love you Kaemorel. I don't want to lose you."
I smile. "And you won't. I love you too." Said in Groaeshi is much more meaningful than I ever imagined it could be in English.
We stay that way for hours that night. Him on top of me, cuddling me and telling me all he can about Gishi family life, and love life. I learn that our race doesn't just get pregnant, we need to drink our special tea brewed from a plant before the act to conceive. I ask how my mother got pregnant of me without knowing as they told me and he says that she probably did know, but foolishly enough kept it a secret as the Gishi tradition wants, until the belly is showing. She must have not know it was dangerous to be put in sleep while pregnant.
Also, virginity is not a big deal for Gishis, and he feared I might have been of someone else given our race's sex drive, which seems to be higher. Blushing, I admit to fantasizing about it a lot, but only really feeling the urge once I was with him. We guess humans don't stimulate our hormones.
The night passes and down catches us making love again. We can't help ourselves, and I became addicted to his touch, his warmth, his intoxicating smell. Days go by before we recollect ourselves.
***2 years later***
As I recall, after leaving that cave we headed to the council of Gishis, where they recognized me as a full member of their society. And soon after that, we were at the head of the diplomacy expedition to talk to humans. It didn't go well, they so us as enemies, wildlings, and refused to talk. I would say even to me, but especially to me is more correct. We waited out of their gates, they took it as a siege and sent soldiers at us.
There it started. The fighting, the war, the we could not win. We had nothing against them. A part from him. Him was my father, the man who finally admitted of loving and impregnating a whiteling. He started to calm them down. As with him in the human side, and me on the Gishi's side we made peace. We granted them the use of a few areas, which they promptly fenced in and ruined, but no one was allowed out of those fences. Our world was ours.
Kylian and I got married, or the Gishi's equivalent, soon after the peace. The ceremony included cutting and burning of hair, and tying our ankles together for a day. It was amazing.
The day I drank the tea I was trembling. Kylian said it would be my decision, but I still made him a part of it. I drank the tea in front of him, very unusual they tell me. It followed one of the best nights of my life.
And 6 months later, as I discovered we needed six not nine, my beautiful baby boy was born.
He is charming, and so active. He and his father are the light if my life, so much that I'm thinking... Should I drink more tea?