oct 15 2015

i call and it goes to voicemail
immediately, after one ring,
maybe it was two

i want him to show up
at my front step again
and i realize how selfish
that is, to order him
to come and go
like a dog and maybe
he wasn't as passive as i thought.

resentment calls its friend, regret
to sleep with it deep in the
pit of chest while i wrestle with desire
to call him again.

maybe it was a fluke.
i want to believe.
or maybe he finally has had enough
and maybe at this very moment
hes speaking to someone else
and he'll keep his word this time.

"okay i wont be here..
atleast i'll try not to be"