The Spider Woman
By Joseph Logsdon
Something was in his bed. Even though he couldn't see it, he could definitely feel it. In order to avoid being bitten, Hubert remained motionless. The spider crawled down his leg, and as it crawled, his heart rate increased. He was on his own, there was no denying that. If he moved at all, the spider would attack him. Tears poured down his face, giving away his fear. How long would it last?
Surrounded by darkness, Hubert tried to keep his mind off of the situation. He tried to think about friends, but, then again, he didn't really have any friends. Realizing that no one would miss him, Hubert started to cry. In all his life, he had never been so terrified. He wasn't afraid of the spider, he was afraid of himself. What had he accomplished in life? Hubert asked himself that question repeatedly, but every time he did, he didn't have an answer.
Approaching death, Hubert tried to remain calm. What else could he do? He couldn't escape, he could only wait. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes turned to hours. It was the end, or so it seemed. Hubert moved his leg, giving the spider the opportunity it needed. Hubert felt a sharp pain, and just as he started to scream, the pain disappeared. The spider was gone, never to return.
Getting out of bed, Hubert dashed to the bathroom, where he attempted to doctor his leg. Before he could even look in the mirror, his phone started to ring. Who could be calling him in the middle of the night? Picking up the phone, Hubert was surprised to hear her voice.
"Hello, Hubert, how have you been?"
"Joanna, this isn't a good time," Hubert stated, turning on the light.
"I need to talk to you, it's urgent," she announced.
"Out of all nights to call me, why are you picking this one?"
"I'll explain later, okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"Can you meet me?"
"In the middle of the night?"
"If you wait till morning, it will be too late," she stated.
"Too late for what?"
"For you," she answered.
Puzzled and concerned, Hubert decided to meet Joanna. Walking into the saloon, Hubert sighed as he spotted Joanna. She had been his former girlfriend, so he wasn't thrilled to see her.
"Well, you're looking good," Hubert stated, taking a seat at the table.
"Thank you, I'm glad to hear it," she replied, smoking a cigarette.
"Now, what's this all about?"
"The question is, what are you all about?"
"You're not making any sense," Hubert declared.
"Why did you leave me? We were happy, you and I, so why did you break it off? Tell me, I demand to know," she begged.
"I already told you, it just wasn't working out. You got me out of bed in the middle of the night, and just for this? Couldn't it have waited till morning?"
"No, it could not have waited till morning. I love you, and unless you want to die, you'll love me back," she stated.
"What are you going to do, kill me?"
"I already have, just so you know," she laughed.
"What do you mean?"
"Spiders are very painful, aren't they? They're very gentle, except when provoked. They don't kill you right away; that would be too simple. I want you to suffer, just as I have suffered. You're going to pay for what you did, I'll make sure of that," she laughed.
"Did you put the spider in my room?"
"Wow, you catch on fast, don't you?"
"You're insane, I'm calling the police," Hubert gasped.
"Go ahead, it won't do you any good," she laughed.
"Within a few minutes, you'll be dead. I can save you, you just have to do one thing," she laughed.
"And what's that?"
"Marry me," she answered.
"Are you crazy?"
"Do you have a death wish?"
"The way I'm feeling right now, I just might," Hubert exclaimed, nearly collapsing.
"What's the matter, are you nervous?"
"I feel dizzy, what did you do to me?"
"Do you want the antidote?"
"Fuck you," he muttered.
"Is that any way to talk to your wife?"
"You're insane," he stuttered.
"I'm not insane, I'm in love. So, do we have a deal, or are you going to meet your maker?"
"Give me the fucking antidote," he screamed.
"Will you marry me?"
"Sure, whatever, just give it to me," he screamed.
Receiving the antidote in his hand, Hubert didn't hesitate to swallow it. It didn't taste very good, but at that point, taste was the least of his concerns.
"There, see how easy it was? I gotta hand it to you, you were very brave," she laughed.
"Well, it was nice knowing you," Hubert stated, walking away from the table.
"Hey, you have to uphold our agreement, remember?"
"Oh, yeah, that, I don't think I will," Hubert laughed.
"We had a deal, you fucking prick," she exclaimed.
"I never claimed to be a man of my word," Hubert stated.
"Too bad, I knew this would happen, so I decided to play a trick on you. I didn't think you'd fall for it, I guess I was wrong," she laughed.
"What are you getting at?"
"You didn't drink the antidote, you drank poison. Oh, and that spider, it was never deadly to begin with. The poison, on the other hand, is quite fatal," she laughed.
"You bitch, you'll pay for this," he threatened.
"Hold your horses, the real antidote is in my pocket. I'll give it to you, assuming you'll be a good boy," she laughed.
"You've thought of everything, haven't you?"
"Always have, always will," she exclaimed.