I understand the concept of change
I understand that nothing
not even the hardest rock
is unchanging
because the world is constantly shifting
beneath our feet
and our blood is continuously pumping
through our veins but
I don't understand the actuality of change

Because the second time around
everything was perfect
everything was how it was supposed to be
and then it changed
and I'm sorry if I triggered it
I'm sorry if my words
my actions
my anything
caused the shift that
tore a rift
between us

I resisted the change
I resented it
with every atom in me
I tried desperately to figure out
our edges didn't seem to fit anymore
because you had them
and I felt like I had no one

You were so distant
You would be calm one moment
and violent in the next
I didn't know how to handle it
and I'm sorry that when you told me,
"The first one"
I lost it
because I was convinced that
I was nothing
more to you than
the hole between my legs

Maybe our pieces did still fit
Maybe all that needed to happen
was for me to change
But I don't know how to do that