Author's Note: This one's for Brievel


Well, what can I say, lads. Most of the japes and escapades this week have been of the digital (or digitally-inspired) variety. Seeing as things were kept fairly tame, I'm willing to let most of it slide as far as reprimands go. However, there will still be some new rules:

60. Additions to the Banned Films and Tellie List:

-MythBusters (oh, the humanity. Birch and Thorn's lab is no longer standing)

-The Dark Crystal



-Robocop (and all sequels)


-Legend (why do I get the feeling you all forgot about "no weird eighties films"? I mean really)

-Ancient Aliens

61. T-Posing is banned on base. The Exos find it extremely unnerving, and will react very unpleasantly to prolonged exposure. Besides, are you all still in Year Five or something? At least Fortnite dance instead.

62. It was not necessary to introduce the Exos to Vines. Throwing things in the halls has never been and will not ever be allowed, regardless of whether or not one yells "Yeet!" while doing so.

63. Guitar_Rocker55 posted another video on Tuesday, and already it has a half a million views. It was of the Quidditch match. I hope you are all proud of yourselves. I will say that Captain Strauss looks elegant astride a bicycle, his wine-coloured evening gown flapping in the breeze as a football rebounds off of his forehead.

64. The kitchen is now off-limits to all personnel unless supervised by an appointed on-duty chef. I hope to never see that much spaghetti on that many surfaces ever again in my life - which is rapidly growing shorter, I might add.

In other words, things are proceeding as expected. Hopefully the property damage and food waste expenditures don't get our funding cut, but in the meantime we can all do our best to head that off by being more responsible in future.
Yours always.
Lieutenant Kate Ferguson, Executive Officer