A/N I have been doing a lot of study late on ancient Egyptian religion and Gnosticism and modern esotericism and I decided to stuff what I've learnt into a story. I do know though that there's a lot of references that probably won't be understood. So I'm just putting that out there. I couldn't really find a good way to explain the references without it becoming a textbook and the other option would be cutting them out but then there'd be no story. Basically the story is about a young women who holds these esoteric beliefs goes to Egypt because Egypt is one of the lands considered to hold an ancient knowledge and the pyramids especially are considered to serve special purposes (you can actually book spiritual tours through Egypt). So I do hope it does at least make overall sense; advice questions comments are all appreciated.
As she stepped into the pyramid she saw herself stepping into the temple. The curtain was before her, the Mother resting behind it. She was there, travelling all this way into the ancient land of secret wisdom. Perhaps she's see the lives she had lived, all the way through the time of Buddha and Jesus and Hermes to have her standing here. One day maybe she had seen Atlantis and now, here where the sacred truths are shared, she would remember. The divine would rest upon her soul and she would see, she would look into the face of the Mother and know; wisdom.
Her foot crossed the threshold, taking that leap into the mysteries. The curtain was drawn back.
Darkness, nothing. The Mother's face was empty. And then she took another step, took a closer look, and found the mother's face not there at all.
In her dismay she wanted to cry, to scream to someone or something to show her anything. Somewhere amongst this pyramid there must be that bestowment of wisdom, what she had been taught her with that hope. But she could not help but only find nothing.
In the deep breaths of her heart she thought it might be the divine.
"Yes?" She whispered breathlessly.
"You know there's nothing here."
She turned. It wasn't a divine revelation but a young man talking to her. Perhaps this was a vision though, a past life granting her knowledge.
"Who were you?" She asked. She hoped for an answer like Thoth, or Adam or Alycone.
"I've only ever been myself."
This was no divine being.
"Don't be disappointed, I'm not that bad looking am I?"
She wanted to glare at him. Now wasn't the time for her to be contemplating his appearance, she was having a crisis and she needed it solved.
"I'm sorry, please excuse me." She began to make her way further into the pyramid. Somewhere amongst this sacred temple an ancient force must come upon her. She made her way through the chambers, pausing before each one, before she reached the final one with a sarcophagi resting in the middle.
"This is a place where the dead go to the afterlife, it doesn't do anything for the living."
The young man had been following her, though she might have been more concerned if there hadn't been only one way to go. But she was annoyed.
"That's what you think, but you don't understand the ancient knowledge. This is a place of imitation, of communication between divine and man. Here the pharaohs received wisdom. See," she pointed in the dimly lit room to a painting on the wall. "Do you know what this is?"
He peered close and nodded as he realised. "It's from the Book of the Dead; the 42 gods judging the pharaoh."
"No, it's his 42 ancestors, it's his past lives."
He looked closer. "None of them look like lemurs."
She stared coldly at him. He was mocking her, this petty boy who didn't have the capability to understand.
"You just have not been deemed good enough to know the truth."
"Perhaps but I can still make sandwiches without too much trouble."
He was smiling at her, a smirk and she wanted it gone. She was here searching for the truth, searching for the wisdom of the Mother and he was just trying to annoy her. Perhaps he was a demon sent to try and stop her from reaching the insight of divine wisdom. She would not let that happen.
The sarcophagus sat in the middle of the room and she moved to the other side, turning her body away from him. If she could ignore him he should leave, any social dignity told someone that. But this young man was of a being more ignorant than her.
"Well good luck with it all. I suggest you sit in the corner and hum."
She couldn't help but turn at his comment.
"Sit and hum, is that what you think I do?!"
"It's what all the others did."
The others. Of course others had come searching here, spiritual tours were run that went through this great pyramid. She had heard so many great things; people seeing visions, suddenly knowing things they had never learnt. This was the place where the great mysteries were revealed, this was where people came and where people left as different souls.
"We're all different, all of us searching for something different. What works for them doesn't work for us all."
"Alright we'll how about I say I'm searching for the same thing as you, am I allowed to do that?"
She knew he was lying.
"If it were true yes."
He leant on the sarcophagus. It was a fake one, the real one probably transported to a museum with the dead king probed with carbon dating and reliability tests. In a museum there would be security guards posted at every corner of the sarcophagus, here there was no one.
"No no it's true. I'm searching for the truth, I'm just looking in different places."
"And where would those places be?"
He smiled, rapped twice on the sarcophagus and looked straight at her.
"Certainly not in history."
She wondered whether it would be better for her to move on, to leave the pyramid and come back the next day. But she had been told now, after most of the tourists had left and the sun was beginning its descent, was the best time. She would have to put up with him.
"That's just your opinion, please do excuse me now." Once again she turned away from him.
She closed her eyes, breathed and opened. With the dim lighting she couldn't quite make out what the picture before her was but it didn't matter. In the picture there would be hints at the truth and if it was willed she would understand. She didn't care anymore if the young man was still behind her, she couldn't hear him but didn't doubt that he might be standing there watching.
Slowly she reached out and touched the picture. The texture was rough, but that was all she gained from it. There was nothing. Perhaps now was the time to sit in the corner and hum.
She had come with such high expectations and was left feeling lost with nothing. It was more though the fact that he had been right, there was nothing there. She slid down against the wall and rested her chin against her knees. This was it, all of it had come to this.
Maybe she had given up too easily but everything she had been told prepared her for something immediately. She would walk and be assaulted with something magical. A force would come upon her and she would transcend for a moment into a state of divinity and knowledge. But instead all she was assaulted with was the dusty smell of the cracking walls.
With her eyes closed she didn't notice the young man come up until her had taken her hand.
"Come on, no use crying over nothing."
He heaved her up and she went with him, he was right after all, it was all nothing.
"What are you even doing here?" She asked as he lead her out of the chamber.
"Awhile ago I came searching for the same thing as you. Now I come here because it's pretty."
"History might not hold the answers, but that doesn't mean it's not interesting. Have you ever stopped to really think about this place?"
She never had. She was always busy with learning about reading between the lines, what wasn't seen in things but known. There wasn't any space for thinking about how the pyramid was made, or the people that made it.
"It is pretty," she said.
As they came out into the light she saw the world she had lost in her search for finding her soul. This world, and everyone in it, had been forgotten as she attempted to claw her way through the evilness of the physical to transcend to something better. But there was nothing better to transcend to.
"You know I wasn't lying when I said I was searching for the truth. But it's not something we can find just by ourselves."
"What did you find?"
"That it's not about different levels of knowledge, you can't be partly there, you're either there or not."
The sun was beginning to lower itself over the sandy hills. Still with her hand in his she let him lead her away from the pyramid, away from the place that held no life for her.
He pointed towards the horizon.
"We look out at that and think there's something inbetween land and sky. We think there's empty air but there's not really any point when the air starts becoming sky. It's either earth of sky. There's no midway between heaven and hell."
In the distance the suns glow cast shadows on the hills. Soon the pyramid would be covered in darkness and a chill would enter the air. The sun continued its journey to the other side of the world where it would be breaking into dawn instead of fighting chaos through the underworld.
"Will you get some dinner with me?" She asked.
He smiled. "Course."
She had lifted the veil and found nothing, but instead someone had shown her something and perhaps, just perhaps, this something would turn out to be right.