Slam: My Parents

Parents are a tricky thing for you

They're support, perhaps annoying too

But mine toy with me and make me understand the meaning of hate

So although I'm alive I'm dead bait because of you

Bitch look at your life and tell me it was you who

Hurt me and slammed me against walls but no

The halls of your bible scream and shout

Of a better life that you are devout

And a good mother of some kind

But sweetie all you did was destroy me and my mind.

I was little playing with toys

And had no idea how boys

Where coming in and out of your room and then mine too

How could you let this happen mommy I'm begging you

But then I got a little older and you got a mister

Maybe a few kids oh look I got a sister

But I was still there on the sidelines

Your abuse warping my mind

Neglect making me feel the ground of hell

While my siblings never fell

You always lifted them up

Using me as a stool to hoist their success

Then I got undressed

For some boy down the street who was just like you

Hitting me from above

But with just enough love

To tell me how pretty I look on top of his whoops

Look up I'm in heaven in the closet dead

On the bar with no blood in my head

Mommy cut me down and love me but you said

No you little shit how could you do this

Sit down, don't you know who would miss you?

But you didn't say that out of love because hey

The neighbors can't know you lay around all day

And make me a slave for your stupid kids

They're sitting with a silver spoon

All I got was a bruise or two under the moon

When you let me down I was in hell

Getting hit beat raped and thrown across rooms

But hey it's okay

Mommy says go play

The teachers whisper because they know

Her parents hate her existence

But CPS won't do shit so

Why should they make their love insistent?

I was in the living room one day

Thinking Lord let me out but help

Was always there on the TV screen

Dr. Phil undertones in the shouting resonance

I was begging silently help me please

How the fuck am I supposed to grow up when I wasn't raised

Your abuse and neglect showed for days

Weeks months years later

Now this needle I'm shoving in my arm

Produces tiny tears of heaven slowly loving

Replacing the hell I'm in with you

And your kids and your big ass bible and four thick walls

Hiding the fact I still fall down the stairs

Angel come back don't make me mad again.

I sneak out and get drunk and come home

To a firing range with me as the target

Mommy stop can't you see I'm a good little girl

I know it's strange with some tendecies

To be the biggest fucking mistake to ever come out of you

Instead you should've gotten that abortion but

You decided to kill me slowly, why?

It would've been great to be in a bed in heaven

Instead of a guy I don't know he's near my thighs

What am I going to do cry?

Drugs passed down from me to you

Oh Mommy please let me be with you

Sweetie no go home just let mommy be go play

With a gun, how much did you see?

But first if you want here's a barbie doll

Go ask how to have sex from Johnny and Bobby Hall

But mommy I'm four

Now I'm fourteen

John is long gone and Bobby is between my knees

With his neck snapped in two

Mommy your baby did a hack job of finishing him with my shoe

Wouldn't you be proud?

Killing instead of cutting and fucking around

A little Ecstasy to get me pleased

Here I go flying one two three

Daddy Mommy here I'm dying

In the tub from overdose ten

Take me to the hospital who are all these men?

Oh no go die we never wanted you

Let's get some cheese throw a party

Maybe have some friends and play pool without you

But can't you see I'm dead here please let me come back

Love me I'm human but you treated me like

The worst fucking person since Hitler's henchmen.

Now here I'm sitting with lines that don't make sense

Lines of chemical powder that make me forget

How he asked me to scream louder

But now I'm dying spiraling down by the hour

Hoping God is a lot nicer than parents He gave me

He made you from glaciers

I guess He thought you would do well

He was wrong.

I was in hell now I'm with an angel

Writing a song about how to forgive

It ends with the lines

Fuck you I'm dead

And now you're in burning in hell

With my screams in your head

Mirrors showing you made me live

And those fucking little kids will be burning with you

At least try to save the ones you actually love, would you?

I'm up here safe and sound

No thanks to you

I used to be bound by your pathetic minds

Now I'm in charge

Your pain is the fuel for my time

To complete this crime

To fill you with a little lead

Cut off your head

And hope the last thing you saw

Was my fist crammed in your craw

Breaking the law

Thou shalt not murder

But your broke that commandment

When you hurt her.
You took my memories packed them

In a pipe and toked up

Now what went up in smoke

Will come down like a hoax

And as my parents you are nothing to me

So please go rot

While I puke up snot

To wipe on your graves

Because I can't handle the rage

I hate you.

Sincerely, who gives a fuck

That's something new.