Break the Wall

I've built a wall.

It stretches towards the sky, so tall, long, and thick that I can't see him. The one on the other side.

But that was the point, correct? I don't want to see him. The wall prevents that. Shouldn't I be happy?

For some reason, I feel a sort of emptiness, a hole in my heart that can't be filled. I ache for him. My whole being pulses with unfulfilled hunger.

So I walk up to the wall. I raise my fist to break it and bring it down. But when my fist is inches away from the wall, I stop. I hear the voices around the wall, whispering in my head.

Come with us. We can give you happiness. We can give you peace. We can fill that hole in your heart.

No, I say. It won't—

Sh, sh. Drink with us. Eat with us. Make merry. Party. Spend your money, spend your time.

Eventually, my will gives out. I allow myself to be led away from the wall in a hypnotic semi-trance.

Yes, they rejoice. Come with us.

We talk together, laugh together. I stay with them until they leave me on the ground, spent and still feeling the hole. I stay there, unable to stand up.

When I finally gather enough strength to get up and walk, I go back to the wall. It's still there, tall and thick and long as ever.

I can hear his cries from the other side. Break it down. I'll help you. We can do it together.

But the voices are at it again. Come with us. We'll be happy together forever. We'll fill the hole.

You know what they did to you last time, he says. And all the other times before that. Come. We'll break the wall.

But you'll be happier with us. We're so much better than him. We're worth more.

So I'm led away from him again. I don't hear his cries as I leave the wall. Or, at least, if I do, it means nothing to me now.

I find myself on the floor, unable to get up and abandoned again. I should have known better. But I didn't.

I'm drawn to the wall again and again. There, I can hear him speak.

I want to be with you, he says. I want to be able to see you. I want this wall gone.

Don't listen to him, they hiss. He knows nothing. Come with us. Join us. Be with us. Not him.

But I've had enough of being left on the ground, alone. They won't give me happiness. I know that now.

So I raise my hand to strike the wall. I will destroy this barrier between him and me.

The voices scream at me, the shrill sounds ringing through my ears, my mind, everywhere. I fall to my knees, overcome by these voices telling me to eat, drink, party.

Spend your money! Spend your time!

Shut up! I scream. Shut up and leave me alone!

But all of a sudden, I feel a warm, comforting presence behind me. I look up, towards the wall. It's him. I can feel it.

I stagger to my feet, my hands reaching out to him. I need more of that presence. I need more of his warmth and light.

The voices shriek in my ears, their pitch high and tone shrill. No! We can give you more than him! We'll have fun!

I'm done with your fun. I'm done with you. My fist comes crashing down on the wall at the same time his does. The voices disappear, their final scream No!

The wall is down, destroyed forever. I fall into his arms. The place I belong.