Yell It Across The Classroom
Morton and Diane Free were on their way to see Mrs. Slammer. Mrs. Slammer is Clyde's homeroom teacher. Morton got off work early and Diane got the day off for this visit.
They decided to have Clyde stay in his homeroom after school until they got there instead of having him ride the bus.
As Morton and Diane got out of their car Morton said "we're going to see Mrs. Shitter right?"
Diane got upset and said "her name is Mrs. Slammer and it's bad enough that kids call her Mrs. Shitter now don't do the same."
Morton said "oh sorry."
Diane said "now that's another thing you're just as big of a smart ass as kids are now days."
Morton said "oh no are you going to send me to the principal? I'll bet he's still here in his office."
Diane said "see what I mean! Also the principal is a woman and if you were keeping up with this school like you should be you would know that."
They enter the school and a teacher tells them where Mrs. Slammer's class is.
When they enter they both sit at student's desks.
Mrs. Slammer said "Mister and Mrs. Free your son Clyde has excellent grades. He makes A's and B's."
Morton asked "if his grades are alright then why are we here?"
Mrs. Slammer said "your son is disrespectful."
Morton asked "how?"
Mrs. Slammer replied "well for one he got a fine for cursing and due to the DA's mistake and the cop not showing up it was thrown out."
Morton said "well if the court threw it out then it was no good."
Clyde replied "yeah the court threw it out and I shouldn't be subjected to double jeopardy."
Mrs. Slammer said "Clyde the adults are talking."
Clyde said "oh so everyone can talk about me and I have to sit silently? That's bullshit!"
Diane snapped "CLYDE" and Mrs. Slammer went on to say "this is what I mean about being disrespectful."
Morton said "alright well let's have Clyde go get a drink of water while we talk."
Mrs. Slammer said "students can't roam the hallway freely after 3PM."
Morton said "and people complain teachers don't have enough authority."
Mrs. Slammer said "well when a kid gets away with something in court that sure doesn't help us."
Morton said "well there were three witnesses that were supposed to show up, one was the police officer himself and the other two were teachers who both had emergencies. Plus the prosecutor lost the case file."
Mrs. Slammer said "yes and for Clyde it was a miracle that things for the state went wrong."
Morton said "well the case is over and I'm sick of hearing about it. Aside from that incident what are the other times my son has been disrespectful? Can you cite other occasions?"
The teacher was at a loss for words. Clyde jumped in and said "she just hates children."
Diane snapped "Clyde don't interrupt."
Clyde said "may I have a pass to go get a drink of water?"
Mrs. Slammer said "ugh" and that's when Morton said "I think you must hate children if you don't even want them to have water."
Mrs. Slammer said "That's it I can't take being a teacher anymore!"
Mrs. Slammer stormed out of the classroom.
Diane said "well that's great that she quit."
Clyde said "I know."
Diane said "Clyde I was being sarcastic."
Clyde replied "well I wasn't."
Morton said "I don't give a fuck."