Wonder(ing) White

4 months

He'd been in the underworld for 4 months! He was simply waiting, because for some reason the lords of Van Henar hadn't shown up. He wasn't much for demonic politics, and he didn't know too many reasons for a group of demons to be late, so he didn't think too much about it.

He had plenty of time for other thoughts though, being stuck in Limbo as he was, so he spent the 4 months reflecting and kicking himself.

He thought back to the day Serina had been captured:

It started out simple enough; The Queen had asked to speak with him privately, he'd noticed she'd been crying, he'd politely asked her what was wrong, and she'd completely broken down. After comforting her, she told him that Serina had been taken by a demon.

It was all a big blur after that. Somehow his big heart had gotten in the way of his mind and before he knew it he had saddled a horse and was charging out of the Castle gate at breakneck speed. He was headed to the Underworld.

He was honestly starting to wish that the Queen had spoken to someone else about all this. Plenty of princes would have jumped at the chance to rescue Serina and not only gain favor with her but also her family, and all of Serina's friends were there when the Queen had asked to speak with him, and he knew that every single person would have done exactly as he did with one difference….

They would have thought before they acted.

He'd run into the situation half-cocked and emotionally blinded and he was paying for it. Any one of Serina's friends would have thought before they acted, and analyzed the situation before revealing themselves, but he had failed.

He could have taken on those demons himself, he was a warrior dang it! They fought like he did, which was one at a time, and he could beat back individual attacks all day long. Instead of melting out some revenge on those demons Serina was forced to bargain away pieces of her soul to keep him safe, all because of some twisted game!

He hated how she put herself in that position for him, he knew how important her soul was, and having her not only lose pieces of her soul to keep him from being killed, but also losing her flight feathers as punishment for his interference was the worst kind of damage, because it was all his fault.

He hated her unnecessary sacrifices; he didn't need her to keep him safe! Heck when it came to her he didn't want to be safe. He'd gladly take any pain, punishment, or wound if it meant he could be with her, but she never let him in.

He was one of the few people who knew her secret, that she was one of the few angels that lived on Earth, and that knowledge alone entitled him to a piece of the action, but she never trusted him with anything. She insisted on shouldering each burden alone, without anyone else's help, and she pushed him away when he knew he could lift the weight from her shoulders.

He'd followed her through Heaven, Earth, and the Underworld. He'd built her up thousands of times and he would always follow her anywhere without complaint, but she continued to push him away when things got the slightest bit dangerous. He hated that, he wasn't someone who stuck around only when things were good and he wanted to be with her for the bad things.

He sighed and looked around the Underworld seeing the demons run around and do their jobs, and he couldn't see the white form of his angel in the crowds.

She'd left him alone again…..

It wasn't the first time either; this had happened at dances, parties, and even in day to day situations, she'd just focus on someone or something else and forget about him leaving him alone, and if he confronted her about it he'd get the phrase he hated most:

"There are other people in the world"

He almost wish she could say that phrase now, so he could rub how much he hated it into her face.

This wasn't their world, and no one here cared what happened to him, she was all he had. Besides what did that phrase even mean anyway? So what if he chose to focus on a person who meant a lot to him and paid more attention to that person? That didn't mean he shut everyone else out; He just wanted to make that person feel special!

He had spent four months in the blackness of the underworld, and although it was strangely beautiful and interesting, there was an underlying evil that seeped into everything and he needed his angel to guard him from it.

But she was off being the authority in the Underworld, and demons were running all around doing exactly what she said. It bothered him how, comfortable, she looked caught up in whatever sick game she was playing.

He wanted to scream at her, because although she was a void of incorruptible light he was only human, and this place was slowly breaking him.

He could hear whispering voices in the demonic tongue wherever he walked, and like before they were stabbing cold darkness into his soul, but this time his angel wasn't there to reflect them or counter those lies with her soft Angelic words.

All those lies were feeding an emotional monster inside of him, and as it grew stronger the harder it became to control. He was locked in a daily struggle now, just to keep the last shred of goodness inside of him from being swallowed.

But the sad truth was….he was losing and he was breaking faster than ever, and the one person who could fix him was too busy…just like always.

He'd often compared Serina to the sun, because she shone on everyone and was always there for people to depend on. However sometimes he wished that he could make her a spotlight, because it always seemed to be just one more world saving project, or one more group to help, or one more person to let into the group…then she'd make time for him.

I'm done waiting! He closed his eyes and finally let himself break.

The monster inside of him emerged and he let his mind dive into dark thoughts, thoughts of jealousy and possessiveness, thoughts he had kept submerged for far too long. Why did she always help everyone else, but keep him waiting? He wanted to simply make her a spotlight and hide her away, and get the attention from her he had rightfully earned. For once he didn't care that being jealous and possessive was against the laws of Chivalry and he was denying all he stood for.

He had done so much for her, and only her. Contrary to what she may believe he didn't do this to every girl he came across…..only the special ones. It was high time he got more than a mere thank you for his efforts! He deserved far more than words…..He'd treated her like the princess she was, but he was left begging for scraps of her attention.

Serina had told him so many times that he was irreplaceable, but how many times had she shared the last dance with someone else. He didn't know why it bothered him so, maybe because the last dance was theirs and no one else's. He always saved it for her, and even arranged a few himself!

But did it even matter?

She certainly hadn't done anything when they had been interrupted, or if he wasn't there. No she just shared it with someone else, or let them be interrupted because the interruption was more important than he was.

And he would just hear about her sharing their dance with someone else, or let her get distracted by someone else and he'd break every single time…but when she came over to check on him he'd always say he was fine, he was getting good at lying to her.

He hated how she treated him! It seemed that he gave her everything, but sometimes a dog was treated better than he was by her. After all he had traveled to the Underworld for her, snuck into a demon's castle for her, and come up with a grand rescue plan…for her! What did he get in return? Only crash-course demonic service, not even a thanks for thinking of me, or I'm glad you came…

Nope just a "Go home, I don't need you."

While being lost in his thoughts he had wandered over to one of those "Lovely lava pits" that the demon lord had mentioned and stared down into it watching the lava bubbles boil and pop, and he came to a decision, a decision that no matter what….it would always be like this.

"I'm done."

He spoke those two words with an unwavering tone, and smirked a bit, feeling a weight leave his shoulders. From what Serina had shown him, contrary to her words, he was replaceable, and some other prince would fill his shoes easy enough. Besides he knew a lot of other princesses, some of whom he'd been too busy to visit, and he was confident enough that he would not only find work, but also appreciation with them.

He scanned the crowd of demons, until his eyes fell on the white wings of the angel. She has her back to me as usual…One day soon Serina, you'll turn around and I won't be here….

He tore his eyes from her and shook his head, I just hope I am strong enough to walk away when that time comes.