The Biggest Family Picnic in the District
It was 8AM and the picnic on Sunday was starting up.
Five men took the credit for it. Community pillars as they were known, Jeff Colt, Mark Barry, Alex Moth, Jerry Bright, and John Tesslo.
The children were having fun. A boy who identified himself as 12 year old Mitchell Tanner was drinking a lemon slushy and his little sister Marcy was standing beside him. He gave her a hug and a kiss.
One couple came up and the husband said "this is my wife Kayla. We've been married for 20 years and we have a son named Kenneth who's 6. I'm Robert."
The District Operators welcomed Robert and his wife and kid.
At 9AM when all the slushies had been picked out and finished they would later be picked up off the ground.
At 11 AM lunch was served to everyone.
Everyone loved the food.
A soccer game began between the children. It lasted one whole hour and while the team with the biggest oldest kids won there was no hostility over it.
A 14 year old on the winning team hugged a 10 year old on the losing team.
All the parents sat and talked. The children sat and talked as well.
Parents warned the children to stay away from big ant hills. The children smiled upon being warned by their caring parents to stay away from ant hills.
At 1PM the district officials that coordinated the picnic set up a stage and said they planned to say a few words and also wanted to know if the parents or children wanted to say a few words about today.
The parents and children both smiled eagerly and the district officials soon took the stage.
Jeff Colt said "seeing how today has turned out has made me so happy. I can see that I and my partners have made families happy to. Would anyone like to speak now?"
A boy raised his hand and Jeff called him up on stage. When Jeff asked his name the boys answered "Lawrence Bell and I'm 11."
A few other children were invited up to speak on stage as well.
Molly Wyatt 10
Raymond Decker 11
Martin Thompson 14
Lawrence began speaking first. He said "I'm really happy to have come out here with my mom and dad. We had a great time. Furthermore (all of the sudden he cuts one) and says "sorry everyone I had too many chili dogs."
Raymond says "I'd like to speak now."
Raymond speaks "I'm happy with everything I saw today. I saw peace and love. It sure is a nice difference from what I see at school with all the bullying."
All of the sudden Molly says "ooh" and covers her nose and mouth.
Raymond asked "Molly is there a problem?"
Molly said "oh I just got a whiff of that."
Raymond snapped "you interrupted me."
Molly said "well I'm sorry but it stunk and no offense Raymond but it stunk I'm not trying to embarrass you further."
A boy out in the audience said "mommy it really stinks" and then he throws up all over his mom.
Adults and children are in shock.
One adult said "oh my god."
Another adult said "this would end up happening. You can't have a nice family picnic anymore."
It was a full two minutes since the kid puked on his mother. Then she puked on him.
Adults were screaming "OH MY GOD" and "HOLY SHIT!"
Children laughed at the fact an adult puked on a kid.
One boy yelled "HEY DAD A GROWN UP PUKED ON AN ADULT YOU DON'T SEE THAT EVERYDAY!"
The dad said "NOT EVEN ON NICKELODEON DID YOU EVER SEE THAT!"
Other adults were so disgusted they puked.
Many adults were just mad that it all started with a kid farting on stage and a girl who brought it up after the issue had been put to rest.
Soon all the grownups were packing up and ready to leave. The district officials who were responsible for the picnic said "please, please" and tried to beg them to stay were ignored.
Nobody was a in a good mood.
Marcy asked her big brother "Mitchell could you hand me a bottle of Pepsi out of the cooler?"
Mitchell answered "Marcy will you go kill yourself so I don't have to deal with having a little fucking sister in my life anymore? That would make me so fucking happy."
Mitchell's mother Tama said "Mitchell hand her a fucking Pepsi. She's not asking you to sign over $50,000."
He gets her a soda.
Marcy says "I love my big brother" and then she spits in her big brother's face. He's in shock.
If that wasn't bad enough the boy who was puked on by his own mother was not going to let it go.
"Mommy you puked on me."
His mother replied "well that's because you puked on me first you stupid little faggot."
The boy replied back "well I like being a little faggot. When I suck Timmy's penis I get good lemonade."
His mother yelled "DID YOU HAVE TO ADVERTISE THAT TO THE WHOLE PARK GODDAMN IT!"
One little girl said "daddy I want to go home" and her dad said "well I want to go home too" and whined like a baby.
The parents whined like the children and they all left the picnic angrily.