Ultimate Robin Hood: The Liberator
Copyright ©, 2012
All Rights Reserved
Any duplication or plagiarization of this story of any kind is by definition false, and not to be taken seriously unless it's internet joking or parody.
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The Modern Legend Begins
Someone shouted, "hey! You cannit come in here!"
Another voice responded, "oh aye…I can."
A shot sounded off in the hallway. The guard and his bayonet fell to the floor. Paintings of famous places in England hung across the hallway's walls. A golden chandelier hung above the scene. A figure in a black coat and a black hat with a pistol in hand ran down the hallway. The guard in a red and yellow uniform groaned in pain.
The guard called out, "stop him!"
The figure ran up a pair of old fashioned winding stairs, shooting at more guards on his way up. They fell one by one before they could even take out their bayonets. Three mysterious figures in pale brown coats aimed their pistols at the attacker. But, by the time they got to the stairs, the figure was already up the stairs and running down another hall.
One of the figures in pale brown coats muttered, "bugger!"
Another of the figures in pale brown coats urged, "come on, mates! We can still catch him." As the figures in pale brown coats came up the stairs, they saw a grenade bounce their way.
The third figure in a pale brown coat called out, "jump!" Some of the few figures on the stairs leaped to safety on the top of the stairs, but one of the figures wasn't so lucky. The explosion knocked that one figure against the steps, and was lost in the midst of the smoke. Water sprinklers went off, extinguishing the flames quickly.
The figure in the black coat was soon joined by two more figures in black coats. The first figure in a black coat motioned for the other two figures to split up with hand signals. Pretty soon, they had each covered a door to a room. It turned out that it was the dining room of this fancy red carpeted palace that the three figures in black coats were circled around.
Inside the dining room was England's Royal Family. King Richard of England with medium black hair and Queen Anne of England with long red hair were sitting together with the rest of their family at the long center table, which included the princesses and duchesses who married England's princes and dukes. They were dressed in expensive clothing. The men mostly wore uniforms of red and yellow, while the women mostly wore jewelry and more varied colors on their gowns.
King Richard was starting to say, "so, how are our fine…?"
A cruel voice coming from the first figure with a black coat muttered, "oh, tha are about to be less than fine. Especially when I will be in charge!"
King Richard gasped, "Prince John?! But…you were banished from Buckingham Palace!"
Prince John chuckled with his pistol at hand, "I thought I would just drop in for a nice spot of tea…then go on to running the country in my rightful place as King John."
One of the princesses exclaimed, "you will never get away with this, John!" Prince John's helpers quickly opened their doors to throw a sleeping gas grenade into the room.
Prince John claimed, "I just did." The two remaining figures with pale brown coats came in with gas masks over their faces, but two more figures in black coats shot bullets at their masks. In surprise, the two figures in pale brown coats fell to unconsciousness.
One of the figures in a black coat concluded, "way to go, boss. Now that the Royal Family is in custody, we can get the government to do whatever we want." Prince John smiled evilly.
He deduced, "thanks to my double agent in MI5, even they cannit stop me. And if the people want to see their precious Royal Family alive, they will have to bow to my will. King John's rule…is just beginning."
Meanwhile, in a court room in England…
Two advocates, one school official, and one criminal were gathered around the judge in the midst of a restored old fashioned wooden styled courtroom. Two British flags were both next to the judge.
Most of everyone wore formal suits of brown and black, but the criminal had suggestive tattoos and a grayish t-shirt. The criminal also had long blackish brown hair. Her legal defender had short blond hair. The criminal's legal accuser had medium black hair, and the criminal's main accuser had shoulder length grayish brown hair.
The legal accuser suggested, "do you deny that you and your gang tried to blow up Penthouse?"
The criminal chuckled, "I do not deny it, hun. I was sending a message to the rest of England."
The main accuser objected angrily, "as you can see, love...there is no press covering this court case!"
The criminal just went on with a smile, "what happens now does not matter…aside from my message being carried out to the fellow haters out there."
The main accuser called out, "this will not go unpunished, Claudia!"
The judge ordered, "order in the court! Order! Now mate, do you have evidence to back this up?"
The legal accuser concluded, "yes, plenty. For starters, exhibit B. The bomb's remains." The legal accuser took out a plastic bag with the remains of a shattered old oil lamp. Within the same bag were pieces of a weapon.
The legal accuser continued, "according to the forensics, this used to be firecrackers wrapped around a oil lamp…and the lamp was stolen from a Shakespearean play earlier this week by the same gang."
The judge figured, "I assume the police can confirm that?"
The legal accuser figured, "that is right. You can check for yourself."
The judge concluded, "there will be a short recess."
A short while later…
The judge deduced, "the theft of some Shakespeare play equipment has been confirmed by the police."
The main accuser wondered, "and…the gang that was responsible?"
The judge concluded, "the Smashers."
The criminal Claudia figured, "smashing."
The main accuser muttered, "you know what your problem is?"
The judge called out, "order! Order! What do you say in rebuttal, mate?"
The legal defender sighed, "there is only one answer I can give in rebuttal to such strong evidence, mate…and that is to suggest that my client Claudia be put into therapeutic care instead of prison."
The judge considered, "how old are you, Claudia?"
Claudia figured, "fourteen, I think."
The judge sighed, "well, you seem pretty young for an adult. But in that case…why has this case not gone to a Youth Court?"
The legal defender added, "they are temporarily closed, under orders of Scotland Yard."
The judge suggested, "and who gave those orders to Scotland Yard?"
The legal defender, taken aback by this, said nervously, "MI5."
The judge sighed, "never mind. Case closed." The school representative and the criminal were escorted out by the British police.
The legal accuser objected, "but mate…!"
The judge turned to him, "what is it, Robert?"
Robert pointed out, "is it not a little suspicious that MI5 would close all the Youth Courts on the same day?"
The judge reasoned, "yes, but is suspicion not normal for MI5? Besides, who are we to question Military Intelligence?"
Robert sighed, "I just hope they know what tha are doing, mate."
The judge sighed, "how about you have a jolly time elsewhere for a few weeks? You have been taking on a lot of cases this week."
Robert figured, "maybe you are right…but I cannit help feeling that summat is wrong."
The judge figured cheerily, "it will probably go away in a matter of days."
On the way to an airport…
Robert sighed. Around him and his blue car was a lot of traffic among the roads of modern England. Among the roads were a blend of old and modern buildings, from skyscraper sized office buildings of white to house sized traditional mansions of brick red.
Robert muttered, "the traffic is still annoying…but I could at least go around such a circus. What is with today?"
Over the radio, Robert heard something strange.
A news announcer said, "Cheerio! And welcome to BBC news. Our first piece of news for today is the relocation of English subjects across England. Since MI5 has ordered this for unexplained safety reasons, we as a nation must reluctantly comply…and have everyone relocated to different parts of England by half six."
Robert realized, "and yet…the Youth Courts were temporarily closed by MI5. Summat is not right here."
The news announcer went on, "and by four this afternoon, every building should be closed off temporarily for safety reasons…under orders from MI5."
Robert concluded, "now I know summat is not cricket. You do not relocate people across the UK for safety reasons: You send them to another country. And if the law will not tell me what's really going on, I'll have to go over the law to find out."
At a certain airport…
Robert went through the blue and white doorway shaped body scanner, almost past the Metropolitan Police's airline security. An array of lights covered the circular glass roof. A big glass wall was to Robert's left, overlooking typical airplanes and runways. He was wearing Lincoln green archer like clothes, because security assumed that he was heading to a vacation spot in the forests of Sweden.
However, Robert had a trick up his sleeve. One of the security officers in blue uniform suggested, "medication?" Robert nodded. In truth, he didn't really take any pills…but it wasn't like the security officers were going to be so impersonal with a traveler to double check. Robert actually swallowed one of several pills that he bought on his way to the airport…which would normally treat a cold. Instead, it made him dizzy and slam against the nearest security officer with tied back shoulder length blond hair.
The security officer, a little shaken, got up. She asked in concern, "you all right, mate?" Before he knew it, Robert was coughing like crazy…and was escorted to the nearest hospital by some security officers that could be spared. This included the same security officer that he bumped into.
When Robert got up, he still had the security officer's security ID in a then open fist. Robert was on a blue mattress, with white sheets over him. His luggage was beside him, recovered from the airport. Thanks to the welfare system, Robert didn't have to pay much for the service. Robert checked his watch with his other hand, alone in the white and yellow colored room.
He overheard, "by the way hun, have you seen my ID? Security will not let me back in without it!"
Another security officer sighed, "I will help you retrace your steps. Maybe it was dropped on the way out of the airport."
The security officer from earlier simply said, "ta."
The other security officer concluded, "my pleasure, love."
Robert concluded with a sigh, "an hour has passed…which gives me two hours until half six to find out what is going on." He got up, and pocketed the ID card into his green archer like dress clothes. Robert then put on the clothes, changing under the sheets of the bed. He heard footsteps, and so pretended to sleep under the covers.
The security guard from earlier asked, "you all right, hun?"
She pulled away the covers to see Robert with closed eyes, in his green clothes. The security guard sighed, "at least you are stable. Sorry."
And with that, she left. Robert sighed with relief.
He wondered nervously, "now what?"
Robert then had a devious thought.
He lifted his least heavy suitcase. Next, Robert flung the suitcase against a somewhat big side window. It shattered into pieces. A lot of footsteps sounded off down a white and blue striped hall. Robert jumped through the open window, nearly hurting himself with the glass remains of the window.
He struggled to his feet, when the two security guards in blue came in. Robert ran towards a green and yellow taped ambulance outside. One of the security officers called out over a black walkie talkie, "to any officers in the area, we have a suspect heading back to Heathrow Airport! I repeat, we have a suspect heading back to Heathrow Airport!"
Robert jumped onto the back of the moving ambulance, and climbed his way up to the top of the vehicle. He held onto the vehicle for dear life as the ambulance rushed went down a highway. Noticing that a car was heading for a city, Robert side tumbled onto the passing car with some difficulty.
He figured with a chuckle, "I did not teach myself kung fu for nothing." Robert held onto the moving car, until another car that was heading closer to the nearest city came passing by. And again with a side tumble. And then again and again…until Robert found himself by a brownish red bricked old fashioned police station.
Somewhat exhausted after side jumping from car to car, Robert jumped off and ran towards the police station. Most of the police officers were too busy escorting crowds of people from place to place to notice Robert running to the closed police station.
The traffic off the highway was still very time consuming, and more so than usual due to the crowds of people that were being escorted by police. Robert wasn't easily noticed in between these crowds of people. And the yellow and blue taped police cars that were heading to Heathrow Airport were few for that reason alone.
Robert, in the confusion of the crowd shuffling, grabbed a key hanging from a police officer's neck in black clothes. When the police officer tried to attack him though, Robert had crouched down behind several members of the crowd and swung the police officer down hard against the pavement before he could react. The police officer groaned in bruised pain as Robert ran off with the key.
He called out, "help! Someone took my key!"
Several other police officers in black clothes continued to escort the people away from the fallen police officer, but one of them took out a black walkie talkie.
This police officer called out over the walkie talkie, "we have a fallen officer and a suspect! I repeat, we have a fallen officer and a suspect! The place? Well…"
Robert used the stolen key to get into the closed police station. He walked into one of the blue carpeted offices and sat down at one of the computers. Robert turned on the computer, which asked for a password. But, Robert easily saw it written down near the computer by checking the desk drawer with the key. Robert entered the user password, and checked up on email directly with help from another written password.
He figured, "what have we here?" Robert noticed a email directly from MI5 in this user's email account, which was supposedly a division of the Metropolitan Police dedicated to handling the more sensitive police cases.
It said this:
Our instructions come from unusually dangerous circumstances. Former prince John has captured the rest of the Royal Family, and will not release them unless we listen to his orders. For how long because of our blunder, who knows? All we know for now is that if we want to see King Richard and the rest of his family alive, along with the spirit of England, we must do what ex-prince John says. If we feel it to be necessary, we will brief the rest of you about any significant updates on this situation. Courtesy of MI5.
Robert sighed, "it cannit be this simple. MI5 is usually more secretive than this." Suddenly, there was a knock on the front door to the police station.
He heard a voice say, "under MI5 authorization, you are ordered to open this door! If not, we will come in by force." Robert sighed again. He figured, "why did I steal this ID badge again? Right…because I thought security was better than this!" Robert looked around in the desk drawer, but no gun was there. Instead, there were some pens.
The door opened, with help from a skeleton key with moving parts. A guy with short black hair was leading two other agents of MI5, who were all dressed in pale brown coats. One of the other agents called out, "come out with your hands in the air!"
The guy with short black hair suggested with a whisper, "he might very well be our leak, trying to destroy the evidence. I will sneak up on him."
The other agent talking to him concluded, "good thinking, Guy." Guy ran out of the police station…to crash through a window into the office that Robert was in. As he tumbled to the floor, Guy took out a matchbox.
Robert turned to Guy's direction. He asked, "and just who do you think you are, mate?!"
Guy figured with a chuckle, "you can just call me Guy." He lit the matches and threw them onto the carpet on purpose.
Robert figured, "you are bonkers…that is what you are!"
Guy just chuckled again as the flames got higher, "am I now?"
He punched Robert in the chest, sending him crashing against the carpet. Robert rolled out of the way of the incoming flames, coughing like crazy around the surrounding smoke. Guy was about to disappear into the smoke with a gas mask on, when Robert gasping for air grabbed his mask like mad.
They wrestled over the mask in the midst of the growing flames. Robert coughed as he shoved Guy against the brick wall, making him cough strongly too. Then, as they started to lose each other in the smoke, they exchanged glares.
Guy wondered between coughs, "who…are you?"
Robert concluded in the moment, "Robin…Hood."
And with that, they lost each other in the smoke. Robin Hood felt around for the door, and opened it with his last ounce of available breath. He then took big breaths as the three MI5 agents behind him ran after him. Robin Hood walked into crowds of people that were still being moved around like cattle, losing the MI5 agents in the midst of the relocation.
A police officer in black called out, "move it! Move it!"
Robin Hood called out, "they are not really leading us to safety…tha are just rearranging us for an invasion!"
The police officer called out, "who said that?!"
Robin Hood showed himself, taking out the ID badge he swiped. He pointed out, "if it is this easy to snatch summat, security must really be low."
Murmurs echoed across the crowd Robin Hood was with.
The police officer went on, "MI5 has everything under control…I assure you! Someone apprehend this troublemaker!" But the crowd didn't listen. Instead, they created a mob scene…much to Robin Hood's bittersweet joy. Police officers were knocked down by the very people they were trying to protect. One of them shouted, "in the name of Queen Anne herself, I…!"
He or she never got to finish the sentence. Someone in the mob shouted, "you really dunno what you are doing!"
Another person in the mob called out, "there will be no invasion on our watch!" The mob just kept growing across modern England, as the voices of the people spread from city to city. More and more police officers were down for the count, completely taken by surprise at this turn of events.
Someone in the crowd with short brownish black hair asked, "who are you?"
Robin Hood figured in the spirit of things, "Robin Hood. You?"
The stranger concluded, "Will. Will Scarlet." Robin Hood motioned Will to move away from the mob, against a random reddish brown bricked building.
He asked, "how far are you willing to go to defend England from spiky guests and their cold actions?"
Will concluded, "with my life, mate."
Robin Hood figured, "then let us gather as many people as we can. We will need all the help we can get for our cause." Robin Hood and Will ran to catch up with the thinning out mob. They managed to find a group of ten people among the busy city streets of England.
Robin Hood called out, "listen up, good people…for I have news you good people deserve to hear!" Liking the sound of Robin Hood's words, the group turned around to face Robin Hood and listened. Some were girls, some were boys. They were mostly of varying age and hair.
Robin Hood continued, "recently, a spiky former prince named John has captured the Royal Family."
One member of the group asked, "what about MI5?"
Robin Hood pointed out, "I have a feeling that MI5 is in some way compromised by John's traitorous followers. Who knows how many he has now…or tomorrow? The point is…that someone has to save the Royal Family and put a stop to John's plans."
Another group member challenged, "and just how are you going to do that?"
Robin Hood confidently pointed out, "is security low, as we ourselves pointed out?"
A third group member deduced, "but…London is a long way off from here."
Will added, "but they may not even be in London anymore. We will need more information before we rescue the Royal Family."
The second group member asked, "so what are we supposed to do now?"
Robin Hood concluded, "to gather as many loyal subjects to England's true spirit as you can…and as much information as humanely possible under these conditions. We will meet up at the nearest closed library and start coming up with plans to stop that tyrant John for good. How does that sound?" The group and Will cheered Robin Hood on for a while. They then split up, and went on their way to find as many followers as they could.
Meanwhile, Guy was putting out the fire with a fire extinguisher. Guy muttered coldly, "Robin…Hood…will pay. See if this guy has uploaded anything from that computer."
One of the other two agents pointed out, "but Guy, the computer is wrecked."
Guy fake sighed, "then I guess he succeeded. But, we will find him. Oh yes…we will suss him out." He propped the fire extinguisher against a wall as he said this.