Playing it Straight
It's not like Casper has a problem with people knowing that he's gay, it's just that everyone tends to assume that he's straight. And he doesn't really have a problem with that either. In fact, playing it straight has its advantages when it comes to getting laid. Slash.
It's not like I have a problem with people knowing that I'm gay. Honestly if someone were to ask me outright, I would easily tell them the truth. It's just people tend to assume that I'm straight and I don't bother to correct them, because really I don't have a problem with that either.
I think I must emit some kind of straight-boy vibe, because even though I never date or even talk about girls, no one ever seems to consider the possibility that I may be into guys. I guess it should probably bother me that barely anyone knows such an important thing about me, but it really doesn't. It's not like I'm ashamed or anything, it just never seems to come up.
Plus, I have to admit there are certain advantages to appearing straight, which I do enjoy. Mainly that guys tend to work extra hard to seduce me. I guess they get a thrill out of thinking that they are converting a 'straight-boy'. It's kind of fun to watch them try so hard. To be completely honest, sometimes I actually play up the straight card, just because it seems to be a sure bet in perking a guys interest in me. I guess, everybody wants what they can't have. Except in my case, I really am gay, I just let them think I'm something they can't have. It's a fun game. In a weird twisted kind of way.
"You know it's such a waste that you're straight, Casper." Jay announced loudly one day. I chuckled in response and ran a hand through my hair. So what I said earlier about the gay topic not coming up? Yeah, that was lie. It actually comes up in conversation pretty regularly with my friends, probably because half of them are also gay. But to be honest they have always just assumed I'm straight and have never asked the gold star question - 'Are you gay?', so I don't bother to correct them.
"Why's that?" I asked, catching the PS3 controller, as Dexter threw it over to me.
"You're so hot. It's not fair to the gay population that you are straight. I mean you even have dimples! Fucking dimples!" Jay gestured to me emphatically, and let out a dramatic sigh of frustration. I grinned at him, purposely showcasing the dimples in both my cheeks, as well as my perfectly straight white teeth.
"Why is it not a waste that I'm straight?" Dexter asked, putting a hand to his chest as if wounded by Jay's words. "I'm hot." He added.
"Well yeah I guess. But have you seen Casper? He's pretty much in a league of his own" Jay replied, gesturing to me again. Dexter and I looked at each other with identical blank looks. "God, you're both hopeless. Milo, I can no longer converse with these clueless straight-boys." Jay really did excel in dramatics. Milo was equally gay, but certainly could not compete with Jay's flamboyant behaviour.
We had a nice dynamic in our little foursome friendship. There was Milo and Jay, the two gay guys, and then me and Dexter, the two straight boys. Except I wasn't straight. I should really bring that up at some point. But I'm kind of waiting for the question "Are you gay?" to do that. In the meantime, I don't really mind too much if they think I'm straight. It doesn't really make much of a difference after all. It wouldn't change anything.
"Casper are you playing or not?" Milo asked, ignoring Jay, and gesturing to his PS3 controller. I smirked and nodded, turning to the screen and preparing myself to beat Milo's ass in a game of Street Fighter. He's the reigning champion in this game, and makes a worthy opponent.
There was a beat of silence as we all watched our characters fighting, and I furiously mashed all the buttons on my controller. I had no real skill with this game, so my technique was just to press as many buttons as I could in no particular order.
"I will never understand why you always pick the ugliest characters to play." Jay said, as Milo used a special move of some sort and my health bar dropped dramatically.
"The ugly ones are the most badass." I replied simply, as I desperately attempted to get a few punches in before Milo finished me off.
"Yeah, the ugliest ones are the most physically intimidating." Dexter elaborated, clearly agreeing with my reasoning.
"Way more cool that the lame non-ugly ones." I added, and Dexter nodded his head as if I had said something very wise. Dexter is probably the straightest person I have ever known. Maybe people think I'm straight too, because we tend to agree on pretty much every topic. Maybe that makes me straight by association?
K.O. flashed across the screen as Milo's tiny female character delivered a fatal final blow to my huge ugly male character. It was almost humorous, because in real life Milo is seriously tall, breaching 6 foot, and yet he still always picks the smallest girl to play. Whereas me, I'm average sized for a guy at best at around 5 ft 8, but I always choose to play the giant characters in this game. Maybe I'm overcompensating or something.
"Guess your ugly character isn't that badass after all." Milo smirked at me, and I sent him a mock glare.
"Fluke." I told him haughtily, before tossing the controller over to Jay. At that moment, my mobile phone started ringing.
"It's my Mum." I said, as I tugged my phone out of my pocket and peered at the screen.
"Aw, how cute." Milo teased, and the other boys joined in cooing at me. I flipped them off and quickly answered the phone, stepping off the sofa I had been sitting on and walking to the bottom of the room.
"Hey ma, what's up?" I asked, watching as the guys started a new game of Street Fighter.
"Hey Casper. Not much, just checking in. How's everything with you? I hope you've been eating properly."
"Everything's going good. And yes Mum, I have been eating properly." I replied, rolling my eyes. My Mum was such a worrier.
"Good, glad to hear it. And have you found anyone special yet? Someone you'd like to bring home to meet the family?" She inquired.
I had noticed recently that my Mum had stopped using female pronouns when asking if I had found a significant other. I'm pretty sure she knows or at least has her suspicions that I may be gay. I think she is waiting for me to tell her, but I'm waiting for her to ask me. So we are kind of locked in a stalemate.
"Nope, no-one special I'm afraid. How's everything at home?" I asked, neatly dodging the question about my love life.
"Everything's good. Except your brother has been saving up his pocket money for the past few months, and without telling anybody he went online and bought a caravan." She told me. "I caught him moving all his stuff into it this morning after he drove it home. He says he's going to live in there from now on." I snorted in laughter.
"What? Who the fuck sold a caravan to a twelve year old? And then let him drive it home. He doesn't even have a driving license. He's twelve!" I let out another gleeful laugh. This was a typical stunt for my little brother, who had been doing odd things since he came out of the womb.
"I don't know, but he won't listen to reason. I've asked him to move back into the house, but he is insisting that the caravan is his home now. He says he paid for it with his own money and he won't return it."
Another peel of laughter escaped me.
"Casper! It's not funny! Can you talk some sense into him please? You seem to be the only one that child will listen to." She asked sternly.
"Sure Mum. I'll probably visit home later this week, so if he's still being stubborn then, I'll have a word with him." I said, attempting to placate her.
"Thanks Casper. I've got to go now, I'm making dinner. Speak soon."
I smiled and bid her goodbye, before hanging up.
"So apparently my little brother randomly bought a caravan and has moved into it." I told the guys, returning to where they sat still playing the PS3 game. I let out a laugh again now that my Mum was no longer present to chastise me.
"What? Isn't he like twelve?" Milo said, his concentration entirely consumed by the TV screen as he hammered the buttons on his controller. I confirmed it with a nod, and collapsed into another fit of rather unmanly giggles. The thought of my little brother secretly buying a caravan and driving it home so he could move all his possessions into it really tickled me for some reason. I sprawled myself across the couch and rested my head on Milo's lap. He was flagrantly ignoring me, entirely consumed by the game, so I flashed my brightest, most charming grin up at him and playfully batted my long dark eyelashes in his direction. He immediately looked away from the game and looked down at me, gazing into my eyes for a second too long. Success! K.O. flashed up on the screen as Milo's character was killed by Jay, who looked delighted at his unexpected win.
"No fair! Casper distracted me! I call fowl play." Milo howled.
"Revenge for beating me earlier." I crowed, lifting my head off his lap and pulling myself into a sitting position, feeling decidedly smug.
"Yeah, maybe if you weren't too busy ogling at your straight friend, things would've turned out differently! As it is, you were defeated by me." Jay taunted smugly.
"I wasn't ogling at him!" Milo defended quickly, his face flushing slightly pink.
"Yeah yeah, everyone ogles at Casper. We all do. Even Dexter over here - the straightest of straight-boys." Jay laughed, rolling his eyes.
"He speaks the truth. Don't have to be gay to appreciate a good-looking male!" Dexter grinned. "Or maybe you guys just take me to too many gay clubs." He added.
"So does this mean I am the new Street Fighter champion, since I beat Milo?" Jay asked.
"Not for long!" Dexter loudly proclaimed, before crawling over to Milo and pulling the controller out of his hands.
As the other two guys started their battle over the champion title, Milo grinned across at me.
"Dirty tactics Casper. I won't fall for that one again though." He smirked. In response, I decided to prove him wrong. I leaned forwards, flashing him the same charming smile and making sure my dimples were proudly showcased. Immediately, Milo's grin dropped and he stared at my face intently for a few seconds, before I let out a peel of laughter and leaned back again. Point proven.
"Fucksake Casper!" Milo snapped, "Did anyone ever tell you that you are a stupid flirting stupidhead?" He asked.
"Yes, in fact many people have told me that before." I teased, grinning at him. He rolled his eyes and laughed softly, leaning back on the sofa. To be honest, given how I behave, I'm surprised everyone still thinks I'm straight. I think it's more of a 'straight' vibe that I project, rather than anything that I do or say.
Standing up, I quickly padded over to the kitchen and peered into the fridge, before grabbing another beer.
"Hey man, you got a text." Milo called over from the sofa, and I looked over to see him holding my phone.
"What's it say?" I asked, as I searched for a bottle opener.
"It's from Jason. It says 'Hey man, wanna hang out later? I kind of have something I want to talk to you about.'"
I smirked to myself. Jason was a guy I met while I was doing some work in a cafe. We had been playing a little cat and mouse game for the past few weeks that we have known each other. I know he is gay and that he wants me. He thinks that I am straight but that he can convert me. It's pretty fun. The key to the game is to let him subtly hit on me and even respond to it, and then say something extremely straight. For example, I might let him stroke up and down my arm when we are watching a film together and even lean into his touch, but then I'll say how hot one of the female characters on screen is. It drives him crazy and pisses him off. It makes him try harder.
From that text, I know exactly what's going to happen when I go over later. Jason is going to be fed up of my 'straight-boy' obliviousness to his flirting. He is going to tell me outright that he wants me. I am going to be all surprised and unsure, and he will throw his all into trying to convince me that I should give it a try just once. Eventually I will 'give in' and we will have sex. Afterwards, I will act all confused and uncertain, and make a speedy get away. Jason will be pleased that he managed to 'convert' me and I will be pleased that I got sex. Everybody wins.
Grinning to myself, I located the bottle opener and popped open my beer. Padding back over to the sofa, I extracted my phone from Milo's hands and tapped out a quick reply.
Sure, your place at 7? What did you wanna talk about?
I clicked send, and then sat back down on the sofa, smiling at Milo who was watching me curiously.
"So who's Jason? What's he want to talk about later? Sounds kind of ominous" He asked, raising his eyebrows at me.
"Oh just a buddy I've been hanging out with recently. I don't really know what he wants to talk about." I answered vaguely, shrugging.
"Is he gay or straight?" Jay asked, throwing down the PS3 controller, as Dexter beat him for the third time in a row.
"Gay." I answered truthfully.
"Then he's gonna talk to you about how much he wants in your pants." Jay answered immediately, rolling his eyes as though this were obvious. I let out a nervous chuckle, because I am actually pretty certain that this is exactly what Jason is going to want to talk about later.
"You reckon? Surely he knows Casper is straight. Everyone knows that." Dexter blinked at Jay.
"Oh definitely. Trust me, it's going to be all 'I mean I know you're straight Casper but I've liked you for a while. You've never been with a guy right? Ever been curious? Trust me, I can make it feel reaaal good.' " Jay adopted a low husky voice as he predicted Jason's words, and we all laughed.
At that moment, my phone beeped with a reply from Jason.
See you then. It's just something I've been thinking about lately - I'll tell you later.
I grinned down at his message, feeling pleased. Yep, we were definitely gonna have sex.
When I glanced up again, I saw Milo frowning contemplatively at me, a strange look in his eyes. I tried to stifle my satisfied smile and cleared my throat uncomfortably. Milo blinked and his usual cool expression returned to his face.
"When are you heading over?" Dexter asked. I checked my watch to see it was already 6.30pm.
"In about 10 minutes I suppose." I replied, slightly adjusting my position on the sofa.
"Need a ride?" Milo asked. I grinned across at him and nodded. Jason's house wasn't far away and technically I could walk, but there is no way I would turn down a ride. What can I say? I guess I'm just lazy.
"10 minutes. Just enough time to whoop Dexter's ass at Street Fighter." I smirked across at Dexter, who quirked an eyebrow, and picked up the PS3 controller beside him.
After a ten minute ride of Milo mocking me for losing to Dexter at Street Fighter, and me calling out directions, Milo pulled over outside Jason's house.
"This it?" He asked, and I nodded in reply. "You want a lift back later? You can just text me and I'll come pick you up." He added.
"Sure." I grinned at him and he smiled back. Pulling myself out of the car and shutting the door behind me, I waved at Milo, before walking quickly to the door and knocking. A quick glance behind me revealed that Milo hadn't left yet, clearly waiting for me to get into the house first.
There was no time to think about that though, because the door swung open at that moment, revealing a smiling Jason.
Jason had immediately caught my attention when we first met, with his piercing dark eyes and classic good looks. And judging by how quickly he had approached me at that time, I had clearly caught his attention too.
"Hey Cas!" Jason grinned at me, pulling me into a lingering hug. Yep we were totally going to have sex. Now I have to subtly respond to his flirting. I lifted my arms and wrapped them around him, tightly returning the hug. And now to act straight again. I pulled away and gave him a playful push.
"Dude, you're so touchy-feely." I laughed. Success. I could see the confusion and uncertainty in his eyes. Pretty soon that confusion is going to turn into anger, and he's going to push the issue of my apparent 'straightness'. I smirked and dodged around Jason into the house.
As Jason closed the door behind me, I saw Milo's car pull away from the street. Shit. Hope he didn't read too much into the hug. Although I guess it doesn't matter too much if he did. It might prompt him to actually ask if I'm gay.
"Cup of tea?" Jason asked, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I nodded eagerly, following him into the kitchen. I took a seat at the table and watched him boil the kettle and making the tea.
"So what was it you wanted to talk about?" I asked, deciding it was probably a good idea to get this bit out of the way as early as possible. Jason cleared his throat, suddenly nervous. He busied himself adding milk to the tea, before bringing it over and sliding one of the mugs over to me. He sat down opposite me and took a quick sip of his tea.
"Um well. Look, Cas, I don't want you to take this the wrong way or anything." He said hesitantly, a slight frown marring his face.
"Nothing good has ever been preceded by those words." I replied, letting out what I hoped sounded like a nervous chuckle, and taking a deep sip on my tea. Wow. Too hot. Pretty sure I burned my tongue there.
"Look, we've been hanging out for a few weeks now right?" He continued and I nodded in confirmation. "And you uh, you know I'm gay right?" This time I paused for a few seconds, before nodding again, allowing my face to take on a slightly confused expression. There was a pause for a few seconds, as Jason clearly struggled over his words. I decided to take pity on him and break the silence.
"I know you're gay Jase. I'm not gonna gay-bash on you or anything if that's what you're worried about?" I said, my words slow and deliberate.
"I know, of course I know that!" Jason said quickly. "It's not that. Look, I just, well I've kind of liked you for a while." He continued, his words coming out rushed and a little garbled. Success. He said it. I stifled the satisfied smile that I felt begin to rise, and instead smoothed my expression into an unsure look. There was another silence, as Jason's cheeks flushed slightly.
"Oh. Oh. Um, liked?" I asked finally, biting my lip and taking another sip of my tea.
"Yeah. Well not so much liked as in the past tense. I really like you Cas." He said, his words coming out a little stronger this time.
"Oh wow, I had no idea." I replied. Total lie. I was actually well aware.
"Look Cas, I know you're straight and all, but-" He trailed off and looked across at me with an intensity in his eyes that I hadn't seen before. After a second he seemed to make a decision, because he nodded to himself, before standing and moving to my side of the table. I watched him carefully as he stood next to where I was sitting and reached one arm down and rested it on my cheek. He gazed down into my eyes, seemingly searching my face for some kind of non-verbal permission to continue.
Okay, now to respond a little to his flirting. I didn't move my face from his hand, and instead just stared up at him, eyes wide. I licked my lips slightly as though nervous, and watched his eyes move down to rest on my mouth. I leaned into his touch slightly, and that was all the permission Jason needed. He suddenly leant down and pressed his lips to mine. For a few seconds I returned the kiss.
Now time to act a little straight. I pulled away from the kiss quickly and Jason's eyes fluttered open, before he straightened up again.
"Um, Jase. Wow, I just, um, I don't know…" I frowned, as if unsure. Jason's eyes were alight now with a strange ferocity I wasn't used to from him.
"Come on Cas, you kissed me back!" He replied, gazing intensely at me. I bit my lip and cast my eyes down. There was a pause. "I don't want to push you if you're not sure, but aren't you just a little curious?" He asked. I frowned and continued to stare down at my hands. I heard Jason let out a shaky breath.
After a few more seconds of silence, Jason straightened up completely and looked away, his expression dismally disappointed.
Okay now it's time to give in.
I looked up slowly at Jason.
"Maybe a little." I said, my voice soft. Jason immediately snapped his gaze back to me, his eyes huge.
I reached up slowly to grab his arm, and softly pulled him down level to me. For a few seconds we just stared at each other. Jason gulped, his eyes still wide with surprise. Slowly I leaned in and this time I pressed my lips to his. It didn't take him long to respond and in the next second he had pulled me tighter to him, the kiss becoming fast and desperate. I wrapped my arms around him and tangled one hand into his hair.
Without breaking my lips from his, I moved off the chair into a standing position, the new position making the kiss more comfortable. Jason let out a gasp against my lips and clutched tightly at me, running his hands down my neck and back. This was intense. Clearly Jason hadn't been expecting me to give in and go along with his advances, and now he was determined to make sure I enjoyed kissing a man enough to continue things with him.
It may sound selfish, but this is exactly why I like playing the straight card. It makes guys try so hard to impress me. They think they have to make sure I have a really good time, otherwise I might decide I don't like dick after all, and things won't continue.
"Bedroom." I muttered huskily, pulling away from Jason briefly. He was breathing heavily now, eyes fixed heavily on my face as though he was worried I might disappear any second. He nodded and took my hand, pulling me into a room which was connected to the hallway outside the kitchen.
Once we were inside, Jason kicked the door shut, and his lips were on mine again. Together we moved backwards until the back of my knees hit the bed. Jason then moved and began kissing and sucking down my neck. I let out a long groan and he pushed me back so I was lying on the bed, before climbing on top of me.
I grasped at his hair and began kissing down his jawline and onto his neck. Jason let out a strangled moan in response. Suddenly he was pulling away, panting heavily, I gazed up at him in confusion, my vision hazy and lust filled.
"Wow Cas," He whispered. "This is, I mean, I'm so-" He closed his eyes and tried in vain to take a few steadying breaths. "Casper, are you sure you want this? I don't – I don't want to pressure you." He said finally, eyes locked intently on mine.
"I want this." I said, reaching up to him.
"Seriously, you have to be sure. God, if we carry on, I don't know if I'll be able to stop." He said pleadingly.
"I want this." I repeated slowly. A grin lit up Jasper's face and he moved back down, pressing his body flush against mine, and kissing me just as enthusiastically as before. Our short conversation seemed to have opened a dam inside Jason, and now breathless words were flowing out of him in between desperate kisses.
"God Cas! You're so fucking beautiful." He murmured fervently, as he pulled my shirt over my head. I quickly got to work, undoing the button on his jeans and pulling them down. He took over and tugged them off his feet, before pulling his own shirt off. He leaned back down and began kissing down my chest. I could feel him pressed against me painfully hard, and I let out a throaty moan.
Smiling at the ceiling, I determined that playing it straight was definitely the best way to get laid.
Jason had asked me to stay over after we had finished up last night, and when I woke up in the morning, he was snoring slightly, one arm wrapped tightly around me.
I blinked blearily at the clock next to the bed and realised it was almost noon. Groaning, I pulled myself into a sitting position, dislodging Jason's arm and successfully waking him.
"Cas." He murmured, smiling sleepily at me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me down for a slow sweet kiss. It was pretty innocent considering what we had done last night, but nonetheless I felt myself flushing slightly.
"Tea?" I muttered, and Jasper nodded, pulling himself out of bed and grabbing a pair of boxers from a drawer.
"I'll go make it." He replied still smiling happily. He pulled on the boxers and left the room. Sighing, I pulled myself out of bed and worked on locating my clothes, which had somehow been dumped in various places around the bed. I pulled on my shirt, and then spent a few minutes fruitlessly searching for my underwear. Eventually I gave up and just pulled my jeans on without them.
Padding through to the kitchen, I found Jasper adding the milk to our tea. He grinned stupidly at me, before passing over one of the mugs. I took it gratefully and watched as he took a greedy sip of his.
"How do you drink it so quickly? It's just boiled. Don't you burn your tongue?" I asked him. He always did this, but it was the first time I had asked about it.
"I like it hot." He replied simply, taking another long sip to prove his point. I laughed and we sat down opposite one another at the same kitchen table we had our discussion at last night. There was a silence. Jason looked quite content but I felt a little uncomfortable.
The one downside of playing it straight with guys is that I'm never quite sure how to play it once we've had sex. I mean, I realise a real straight (although probably at least a little bi-curious) guy would probably be freaked out after sleeping with a man, but I don't want to be a dick. Plus I'm too relaxed post-orgasm to really bother with acting all freaked about it.
"So, how are you feeling?" Jason asked at last.
"Well I kind of ache down there." I chuckled and Jason looked pleased with himself. "But yeah, alright. I should probably head home pretty soon. I need to digest everything that happened last night. Plus my housemates are probably wandering where I've gotten to." I continued, thinking guiltily about Milo and how I was supposed to text him once I was done so he could come pick me up. I hope he didn't wait up or anything.
"I'll give you a ride back." Jason said, nodding understandingly.
Once we had finished our tea, I grabbed my phone off the kitchen counter where I had left it last night, as Jason went to fetch his car keys. Looking down at the phone display, I realised I had five new text messages.
Hey man, what time should I pick you up. – Milo 11.04pm
You still want a ride back yeah? – Milo 12.36am
Cas, you okay? – Milo 1.02am
Casper, Milo just woke me up at this godawful hour, stressing about where you're at. Please reassure him that you are not dead, so the idiot will let me get some bloody sleep. – Jay 1.56am
Fucksake, Milo will not fuck off. I am not a morning person. Tell him to fuck off with his worrying. Also there's a giant spider in the bathroom. Get rid of it when you're back yeah? – Jay 2.34am
Whoops. I blinked guiltily at the messages. I hadn't realised the guys would worry when I didn't come back last night. Quickly I began to type a reply to Milo.
Hey, sorry man – only just saw your messages! Got caught up last night and ended up crashing over here. Hope you didn't worry man! – Casper 11.12am.
After clicking send, I moved on to Jay's message and tapped out a quick reply.
Casper is dead, you're next. Sincerely, giant spider in the bathroom. – Casper 11.13am.
Jasper returned to the room as I clicked send.
"Ready to go?" He asked, holding up his car keys, and I nodded.