I have never thought Colin would love book like it was his life. I mean, people who actually sincerely love books are people like me, dressed up in an old-fashioned way, always carrying a book or more tightly in her hands, head down, hair in a serious braids and ace in every exam without fail. In short a nerd.
But he was none of it. He always dressed in the latest trends. He always carry a hockey stick, otherwise nothing at all. His chin faced us, with a wide smile. Obviously he could not have his hair in braids, but it was not gelled neatly backwards. But he did ace every of his exam. But I have never in my life seen him studying. Guess smart just comes to him. Altogether, what I was, is nothing like him.
So when he entered the old 'abandoned' library carefully, looking his back before he took a step in, I was shocked. Shocked was me. He was shocked as well. He blushed a bit, and said hi sheepishly, telling me he was here for detention. I believed that lie, of course. I would never thought he would touch those books in those old shelves.
What I expected him to do was to sit down in one of those creaky chairs and waited for a teacher to monitor him, but no. He went in between those old shelves, came out with a book I had already read, went to the librarian to book out the book and left the library. I looked at the door with my eyes a bit widen, curiosity reached out to me, wondering why he brought a book with him. Then decided, he probably was helping someone to collect the book.
A week later, on a Friday again, when students were dismissed early from school, he entered the library again. I thought he would return the book then leave the library. But he saw me, smiled sheepishly again, entered in between two of the old shelves again, taking out a book that I did not read because I thought that I would have slept once I start read the first line, then left the library. Again I wonder.
He came back on the same day the following week. Same thing happened. And the following week, then another. Soon, it became a weekly routine to see him. He talked to me after the fourth week he had entered the library. He asked for recommendation, and I gave him one of my faves, something that was not mushy. I went to read the book he borrowed on the second week. It turned out to be interesting, but the contents made me blush. I did not know the library had such explicit books.
Soon, we became very close. He mentioned that he thought I was boring, but turned out the whole opposite. He was glad he talked to me. We never talked in the corridor, just library. But the time in the library was just enough for me to fall in love with him.
I knew he had a girlfriend. So that love was unrequited. I was okay just being in the library, spending time with him, alone. But a year later, he brought his girlfriend to the library. I was upset. I had always thought that me, Colin and the librarian who took care of the library, were the only ones who knew this library. He introduced her to me. Ever since then, she came with him every single time Richard came. I wanted to be angry with her, but she was so cheerful and kind, the kind you just cannot hate. Or at least I thought so.
I was attacked by some girls who asked me to stay away from Colin. That surprised me. No student knew about the library, except me and Colin. And of course, his girlfriend. But it could not be her. She was too kind. But that impression changed when Colin came to confront me saying that I asked three girls to attack her.
"I didn't I swear!" I exclaimed.
"I didn't know that you're this evil," his frown and shown hatred towards me scared me, but it was not stopping from me to clean my name from the list.
Out of my injustice feelings, I shouted something, I shouldn't say. "Even if I like you, I won't do something despicable!"
His eyes widened, then turned and said "You disgust me. Attacking my girlfriend because of jealously is disgusting. I hate people like that." and he walked away.
My heart shattered into millions of pieces. I slide against the book shelves, sitting on the floor, crying hard. Life is just so unfair. Being outcast sucks. Being a poor student in a prestige school sucks. Not being loved sucks. Being hated by the one you love sucks. A lot.
I did not went back to the library. The memories there hurt me. Besides, I'm dodging Richard as much as I can. Even though he was doing the same thing too. The girls who attacked me said sorry to me and said that Colin's girlfriend had asked them to do this and also set me up. They said sorry and left.
I wanted to go find Colin and told him about what his girlfriend did, but then he would not trust me and he did not want me see me. And I did not really either. So I let things be it.
One year past, and another month till graduation. I was starting to get over the Colin thing and thought that life has to move on. I decided to go to the old library. It was a one last visit. Besides, I'm pretty sure Colin would not be there. Trying to move on did not meant that I was okay to see Colin.
When I entered, I almost cried. I missed the smells of the library. The old shelves. The books. And memories in it. The librarian hugged me, saying that it had been long since I came back. After a bit of talking, I slowly walked around the shelves. Touching the book lightly. I saw the explicit book that Colin read, and me of course, took out and sat. I tried to read, but the words were blurred. My mind was too. I did not even realised someone entered until his hands reached out my face to wipe the tears.
I flinched in shock and when I looked up and saw who it was, I immediately ran. But i stopped at the staircase, running out of breath, a disadvantage of not going to the gym with my mom. I was going to run again, when my wrist got caught.
"Let me go!" I tried to shake his hand off but his grip was too strong. I gave up, looked down and asked, "What do you want?"
He forced my chin gently, facing him and said "I want to apologize." My brows furrowed in confusion, but I kept quiet and waited for him to continued. He chuckled, "That's what I like about you. Always waiting for people to complete their sentence, unlike me," my heart fluttered when he said 'like'.
"I'm so sorry. I had mistaken you," he hugged me tightly. I was shocked.
"My girlfriend thing."
I felt like crying, "A-about what?"
He pushed me against the wall, showing anger on his face, "You know what I'm talking about. Christina told me everything."
"One of the girls that attacked you"
I did not know why, but I did not want to talk about it. I did not know why I suddenly did not want him to know what his girlfriend did, "W-what are you talking about? Nobody attacked me."
"Why are you trying to hide? God damnit!" He messed his beautiful hair.
I cried, " I don't know. That thing happened a year ago already. Just forget it and enjoy your life with your girlfriend."
"I broke up with her."
"What?" I was stunned. Did they break up because of me?
Like he had just read my mind he answered my question, "We broke up. And not because of that incident. We broke up even before I knew about what happened. I was not serious about her."
"Oh, then what happened doesn't matter anymore right? Bye then." I tried to went under his arm 'fence' and succeed, but he pulled my hand and went to the library and went in between the furthest shelves from the entrance, and pushed me to the wall.
"All this matters." he growled, "Everything"
His growl made my legs melt. He bit my ear, and I shivered, "W-what are you doing Colin?" He did not say anything and moved on to nibble on my next sensitive spot. He chuckled, "You have so many sensitive spots" He looked at me passionately. Wait, no way. I must had seen wrongly.
"Do you know what that book you were holding is about?" He smirked. I wanted to lie through my teeth and say no, but I could not speak and just nodded my head. "Have you read it?" I nodded again.
"I want to do everything that what the book mentioned to you" he growled again, and I almost lost my standing. I gulped when he started kissing my forehead, my tightly closed eyes, my nose, and then my lips. My eyes widened at his action. I willingly opened my mouth when he licked my bottom lip for entrance, but I did not move, not knowing what to do.
He pulled away, looked at me and smiled, "That was your first right?" I blushed and looked down on the floor. He lifted my chin, "Cute."
I blushed harder and pushed his hands away, "What do you want? Make fun of me. Well, you have your fun. Now-" he kissed me again. I tried to push but failed and kissed him back.
He broke the kiss when we were both breathless. I cried for I-did-not-know-how-many times, and covered my face, "Why are you doing this?"
He removed my hands, and said something I had never thought I would have heard in my life, "I love you."