**A/N: Trying things a bit different with this one. Phfylburt gave me the following challenge:
"You have to write a scene in which two siblings steal money from their parent's wallet. The entire thing must be done using only dialog. The scene should show them setting up for the miniature heist, performing the act, and the getaway. You can not cheat by adding a Chorus or have any asides, and there most certainly should not be any stage directions."
I debated writing this legitimately as a script, but that format wouldn't translate too well on sites like this one, so I left it simply as novelized dialogue. I hope it is still easy enough to follow anyway.**
"Caleb, this is a bad idea."
"Oh? And what's your grand plan?"
"I-I dunno, but stealing from Mom is bad. We're gonna get in trouble."
"And whose fault would that be?"
"Yours for making us do this."
"My fault? My fault! Look, Rebecca, it wasn't me who spent the money we already saved up on stupid scratch off lotto tickets. I believe that was you."
"I thought they'd make a good gift."
"Yeah, maybe if you didn't scratch them all off yourself! Whole month's allowance, and in five minutes twenty dollars is down the drain! Christ, how did you get those anyway?"
"I dunno. I just walked up to the machine, put the money in, and pressed buttons. No one seemed to notice."
"Geez, Rebecca, you're such an idiot!"
"No, I'm not! You told me I won twelve dollars back. So I didn't lose it all. So there!"
"And how did you plan on us getting the money back, huh? You need to be an adult to cash in lotto tickets. Moron."
"Shut up! Stop being so mean. I messed up, ok? I just thought that we could win more money to get a better gift. It was smart. I just didn't think about how to get the money."
"Stop calling me names! I'll tell Mom-"
"And what? Tattle on how I'm trying to get money from her purse so we can still have a gift by Sunday?"
"Well, no, I guess not."
"Right. So stop whining and pouting, and help me with this."
"Still feels bad. It's for Mom's gift. Won't this be like her buying her own present?"
"Would you rather Mom doesn't have a birthday gift at all?"
"We could make her stuff."
"Arts and crafts gifts may work for a little kid like you, but teenagers give actual gifts."
"Twelve isn't a teen, stupid."
"Whatever. Point is macaroni art isn't gonna cut it for me. So, since you spent the money I was gonna use, you're gonna help me get more."
"What if we get caught?"
"If you actually listen to me we won't. Got it?"
"But, what if we are?"
"I'll do all your chores while we're grounded, alright? Can we do this now before Mom gets done with scrubbing the kitchen?"
"That you'll do my chores?"
"Yes. Geez, are we good now?"
"Oh, for crying out-"
"Pinkie promise you'll do my chores if we're caught!"
"Fine. There. Pinkie promise."
"You have to link pinkies and say what you promise at the same time, or it doesn't count."
"For crying out loud. Fine! They linked tight enough now? Good. I, Caleb, promise Rebecca-"
"Your darling kid sister Rebecca-"
"Don't push it. I, Caleb, promise my annoying brat of a sister Rebecca-"
"-that if we're caught stealing from Mom that I will do all of Rebecca's chores while we're grounded. There. We good now?"
"Still don't like this."
"I know. Don't care. Come on. Mom's wallet should be in the center pocket. Grab the twenty bucks you spent and let's get out of here."
"Why do I have to steal the money?"
"First, you spent the money, so since it's your fault it's your job. Second, I have to be the lookout."
"Why can't I lookout and you steal the money?"
"Because you won't warn me fast enough or quiet enough for Mom to not catch us. So stop arguing, and grab the cash, alright?"
"Fine. Um, hey, Caleb?"
"Come on, come on. It's a snatch job, what's taking so long?"
"There's no money."
"Mom only has two ones. I don't see any other money."
"Are you kidding me? Christ! Wait, Rebecca, don't spill the purse!"
"But I wanted to double check she didn't have anything loose."
"Great, now we have to put it all back in the right spots. Thanks again, idiot."
"I told you to stop calling me that!"
"Well stop acting like one."
"Seriously? You're gonna pout and have me clean this up? Fine, be a baby too. Just what I need. There, I hope it's all back where it's supposed to be so Mom doesn't know we did this."
"Can't we just say I spilled it while playing dress up? Didn't think of that, huh, Smart Guy?"
"Yeah, yeah. What are we gonna do about Mom's gift now, though? We can't do anything with two bucks."
"We could still give her-"
"Put those stupid lotto tickets away! We're not giving her already scratched tickets. Hold on, I'll be right back."
"Shh. I have an idea, but we still need Mom's wallet. I'll be right back. You get her wallet, and don't mess with the rest of her purse this time, kay?"
"You're not gonna get me in trouble, are you?"
"Here, give me your pinkie. Quickly, Mom's gonna be done soon. Come on, give it here. Alright. I, Caleb, promise Rebecca I will be right back and will not purposely get my sister in trouble. There. Better?"
"Alright, but be super quick. What do you need me to get from the wallet? Caleb? Caleb? Man, I don't like this."
"Back. Got the wallet?"
"I'm not stupid. Here. What are you doing with the tablet?"
"What do ya think? We can get Mom a new figurine from Amazon for twenty-bucks, ya know, the amount we originally had before it was mysteriously spent."
"I said I was sorry. How are we gonna buy something anyway?"
"Easy, we grab Mom's credit card, and the rest is simple. I've watched her do it before. I could do it in like five minutes."
"Credit card? Won't that get us in more trouble? Mom will see the bill and know we took it."
"That's the beauty. The bill won't come in for weeks. We can do extra chores and stuff to earn the twenty again, and then give it to Mom when she gets the bill so it's not like she paid at all."
"I don't get how that works."
"Of course you don't. Trust me, it'll work. Get me the one that says Master Card. It's the one with the yellow and red circles."
"You sure Mom won't get mad?"
"Look, I'll check the mail, grab her bill, and hand it to her with the money we owe. She'll find it adorable. As long as she doesn't see the bill first and think we're not paying for it, we're good. Trust me. You need my pinkie again?"
"No. I trust ya. But you still have to do my chores if this blows up in our faces."
"Deal. Alright, just need to type the card in and we're golden."
"Caleb, I think I heard Mom calling for us. What do we do?"
"Yell that we're playing in my room."
"You never let me in your room."
"In your room then!"
"What are we doing?"
"I dunno. Whatever you want. Now let me finish this."
"Can it be a tea party? With pink hats?"
"Fine. Sure. Just make sure Mom doesn't come up here."
"Can we really dress up, and have a tea party when you're done?"
"For crying out- Yes! Dear god, yes! Just let me do this!"
"Really? You'll really play?"
"Yes. Now, go make sure Mom doesn't catch us."
"Kay. We're up in my room, Mom! Caleb promised to play tea party! Uh, oh."
"I think she's coming up to join us."
"What? What did you do?"
"Nothing! Wait. Hold on."
"Rebecca, get back here! Geez, what did I do in a past life to get stuck with such a moronic sis- There you are! What's with the hats?"
"Here. Put this on and get to my room. Hurry!"
"I'm not done with the card yet because someone keeps distracting me!"
"Hold on. I learned this in school with some leaves. There ya are, can you read this?"
"Yeah. Wow, what made you think of a crayon rub?"
"Not so stupid now, huh?"
"Nah, that was pretty smart. Ya got moxxy, kid."
"Quick, put on Mom's heels. Hide the paper, and close the tablet cover."
"I'm not wearing heels."
"We're in here, Mom!"
"Why'd you do that?"
"Put on the shoes! Toss me a pair. Ow! Jerk."
"The card back in the wallet?"
"Yeah- Oh, hey, Mommy! Do you think this purse matches my outfit? Caleb's horrible at dress up."
"Dude! I'm a guy, I'm not supposed to be good at this stuff."
"Oh, wait, I have a great hat to go with those shoes! Come on, Caleb, I'll show you in my room."
"Mom! You couldn't have gotten me a puppy seven years ago, like I wanted? Alright, fine, Rebecca, you don't have to drag me. I'm coming. I'm coming."
"Is she following us?"
"No, she's chuckling about how "adorable" we are. Geez. Thanks for the assist, Mom."
"Kay. Can you finish buying her gift now?"
"Yeah. Hey, that was pretty smooth, how you covered for us being in Mom's room. You are pretty smart after all, huh?"
"I keep telling you that!"
"Alright. It's bought. I just need to tear up this rub so Mom doesn't find it in the trash."
"Can we have a tea party for real now?"
"Yeah, kid. You earned it."
**A/N: The lack of any stage directions was tricky. How do I demonstrate the passage of time without any action included? I hope I did a good enough job with that. There were also two times that I cheated a bit and SORT of did an aside as the one sibling continued the conversation while the other ran out of the room briefly. I hope Phfyl lets me slide a bit on that. Hehe.
My last trick was NOT including dialogue from the mom once she showed up. I hope that doesn't seem too fake as the kids address her, but cut her off before she could respond.**