This angsty one-shot takes place a few months after the end of Chapter 3 of "Wonder(ing) White" which you might want to read if you haven't already! Go ahead and read it, this story isn't going anywhere.
For the rest of you please enjoy this one-shot! I might do a Wonder(ing) White sequel sometime in the future but until that time this should tide everyone over.
You gave into sin…
You hurt your mortal…
You lied to us…
You Don't Deserve your Power!
Serina awoke with a scream, clamping down on it quickly….not wanting anyone to hear, not while she was so vulnerable. The phrases of her nightmare echoed into her head, until she clutched at it, throwing her head back and forth like a mad beast.
She eventually calmed down and brushed her blond hair off of her sweaty forehead, peering through the seemingly endless line of trees that awaited her, until her eyes laid upon her goal.
The goal was a massive walled town, lit up with lights, like a beacon of hope for her…but besides the lights, and the promise of warmth, the town held another allure. An appeal that was nearer and dearer to her heart….He was there.
Serina shivered slightly as the night breeze hit her sweat covered skin, and wordlessly got up and continued on her journey, each step burdened by guilt as she recounted her nightmare…..which had happened three days ago.
She stood before the Gods, in a room made of clouds and golden pillars, and she could feel their eyes boring into her soul…..seeing everything that she had done. She couldn't even open her mouth to defend herself, it wouldn't matter if she did.
Her trip to the Underworld wasn't exactly approved by the Gods that commanded her, along with thousands of other Angels, but she'd so desperately wanted to prove herself. She'd heard of the Demons that frequently gathered in that area, and she'd decided she could go and destroy the evil from within.
The Gods were simply content to let the Evil attack them, and then cast it back down. She'd wanted to strike the first blow, make sure they were never threatened again, but she'd failed. The guilt of her failure was something she could take, something she could handle…..but the guilt of hurting him was another matter entirely.
The man who crossed into the Underworld, who got himself captured at her request, who worked like a slave for her, fulfilling her every request…the man who loved her like no other man could. She was his guardian angel, and he her mortal. She'd been so focused on her mission that she'd neglected him, condemned him to the darkness of hell without so much as a gesture of support…she'd been so blind she didn't notice him slowly breaking. Until finally she'd been broken as well, and then they'd both given into lust.
If she wasn't waking up in a cold sweat from the repeated nightmares, she was waking up in a hot sweat from a dream of that night. Her mind was hazy with lust at the time, but now she could remember every passionate detail. The kisses, his hands roaming her back and shoving her against the stone door, his face as he looked down upon her and softly stroked her wings, his lips as they assailed that one perfect spot on her neck, and, most of all, his eyes as they both darkened with longing and shone with love. All they'd done was kiss and cuddle, but that in itself was perfect. In her dreams she never wanted to wake up, and cursed herself for leaving, for saying her "I love you" like a coward and then running away to bury herself in her work.
Giving into their mutual lust for one another, however, was a sin in itself, but Serina regretted nothing about that night. Because underneath all the sudden passion was a love that wanted a chance to shine through, but she'd been too blind to see it, and when she finally did….she'd left him alone. Once the passion, and her excuse for kissing him, was gone then her mission was suddenly the important thing, not him.
The Wrath of the Gods was swift and just, she'd succumbed to two deadly sins. Lying to her Gods and giving into lustful feelings, and that was enough for her to be punished. The verdict was equally swift, although the harshest to take. She was to be cast down.
She was a fallen angel.
With a flash of light her wings had peeled off of her back, her halo snapped in two, and her robe was torn. She was a plain mortal, and was teleported away like an unwanted article of clothing.
She'd landed back in her kingdom, poor as a pauper, and someone else was on the throne as the princess. Someone else was living her life…..her friends and family still knew her, but they all knew that her life on the top was over. She didn't want to see the pity in their eyes, she didn't want them to see her as poor fallen Serina. So after a few days she left, a friend had told her that He was in a nearby town, and she'd been walking the roads for about two days wanting to patch things up and salvage what she could, even if it was pointless.
Walking on her own two legs for long distances was fine, but oh how she wanted to use her wings. Every time she felt the breeze on her face or the sun on her skin she wanted to spread her wings and fly….like she was meant to. Every time though, it was just a painful reminder that she couldn't…..a painful jagged stab in the heart, reminding her that she bore the shame of being fallen.
She also carried a sword now, and continually squeezed the hilt. It was a habit she'd developed, since changing into a near immortal angel wasn't an option anymore. She didn't want to admit it but she was scared, scared of people that could hurt her and scared to use the sword, she was even jumping at bunnies that that moved in the sunlight like some frightened child!
She'd forgotten what it meant to be a mortal. It was easy to ignore the rain if she had a raincoat, but now she was standing in a dangerous storm.
The walking gave her time to think however, and she'd been doing a lot of thinking, about him. She wondered what it would be like now that their positions were reversed. He was the one in power now, and she was the broken one. Her heart was beset by the fear that he could turn her away, for all she knew he could be happier there….maybe even healed. Could she risk reopening all that pain, hurting him again, just to claw at the remains of a life that once was? She wouldn't blame him at all if he pushed her out of his life, after all she'd done the same thing. She probably deserved it anyway.
When she'd been in danger, he never stopped fighting to save her. He traveled to the Underworld and descended into hell just to save her worthless soul. He'd fought off the darkness, and terrors both physical and mental as he languished in the cold dark pit. He never stopped trying to get to her, no matter what it did to him.
Yet when he tried so hard to tell her he was broken, she closed her ears.
When the signs that he was slowly suffocating under the strain began showing, she refused to see them.
When he reached out to hold her close, to beg her to fix him, she'd ran away.
Serina bent her back against the suddenly cold wind as it blew in from the town, the wind might be telling her that maybe she didn't deserve him. Heck, she didn't deserve to lick the ground he walked on. He was a blazing light of love and honor, but she…she wasn't worthy to be bathed in his brilliance.
She was a weak puny human, the very person she'd secretly looked down upon from her position of power, and as she walked towards the town she knew that she was now coming to him for protection.
How many times had He called for her help, called for her advice, and she'd come? She never thought she'd ever come begging him to help her….or to keep her safe.
She knew that if she entered the town and sought him out, he'd invite her in, love her despite her faults, and spend every minute of every day healing her. The certainty of knowing what he would do almost…sickened her. She wasn't an angel or a princess, she wasn't powerful, no more did armies flock to her banner, no more did the light of the Gods shine on her command. She was just a mortal now, so much like him, but also so different. She didn't deserve his mercy, but he wouldn't know that.
All he knew was the simplest of truths: If it hurts, heal it and if it's broken, fix it.
She could never lie to him, he could always see through the hidden pain and the false smiles. He was able to dissect her feelings and pick apart what was really bothering her and then he didn't stop until the pain was gone.
Did she deserve to be healed like that, did she deserve to have him see the truth about her, did she want to show him just how broken she was?
Serina kept walking, with the cold wind and noises of the forest reminding her that she wasn't a holier-than-thou angel, but a mortal. In this forest, mortals were prey…..She was prey.
She kept walking, fighting the fear, reaching and striving for the light and love she didn't deserve that was oh, so close.
She kept walking, entering the town and letting the firelight from sconces bathe her as she walked the stone paved streets.
Until finally she stopped right in front of a door, with her heart in her throat and her toes all at the same time. Sweat beaded on her brow as she reached up to his door, and knocked three times.
Well that was angsty wasn't it?
Also the quote in the description is from Winnie the Pooh and I thought it fit the story. I love that yellow bear :D
I hope you enjoyed the story and let me know in a review if you would read a Wonder(ing) White sequel!
Please leave a review, feel free to check out my other works, and have a great day! :)