Penguin Attack

By Shadowgate

10 year old Johnny Dell was listening to the Weird Al Song "Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a Planet near Mars."

His mother Jennifer came in and asked "what is that song you're listening to?"

Johnny Dell answered "it's a song called Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a Planet near Mars."

Jennifer said "okay" and asked "who sings that?

Johnny answered "Weird Al Yankovic."

Jennifer laughed and said "that Weird Al is something."

Johnny said "the good news is we're not being invaded by them. The bad news is that penguins are invading us. They've hit Detroit and New York City."

Jennifer said "what" with a puzzled look on her face and Johnny went on to explain "I was on the internet and penguins are invading us. I saw it on Yahoo News."

Jennifer said "you must have been reading a fantasy story on the internet" and left her son's room.

Johnny began playing "Red Ducks" by Murp.

Jennifer knocked on the door and asked what song he was listening to now. He said the song was called "Red Ducks" by Murp.

Johnny said "they're a brother/sister duo." Johnny rolled the song back to the beginning and sang along.

"Red Ducks on the March, we're going to kick your butt."

Jennifer said "okay pause it it's loud."

After that Jennifer said "don't say butt."

Johnny groaned and said "well the good news is we're not being invaded by red ducks. The bad news is we're being invaded by giant penguins. I saw it on Yahoo News."

Jennifer said "Johnny you are way too old to be telling fairy tale stories such as that one."

Jennifer looked over and noticed it was 2PM. She said "oh shit my Soap is on."

Jennifer rushed into the living room. She sat on the couch with a Diet Dr. Pepper and turned on One Life to Live.


"We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to inform that mutated penguins are on the loose. We go live in New York City with Meghan Carpenter."

Meghan Carpenter said "yes there are indeed mutated penguins. You can see beside me the bloody leg which is all that's left of the New York City Mayor. They ate him. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family. The Department of Homeland Security has classified the penguins by size and there are four groups."

Meghan held up a poster board.

Dog sized penguins

Human sized penguins

King Kong sized penguins

Godzilla sized penguins

Meghan Carpenter went on to say "we'll have more updates when we get word of the federal government's plan to stop these beasts. Now back to the regularly scheduled programming."

Johnny came in and yelled at his mother "I TOLD YOU SO" and it startled her causing her to spill her soda all over herself.

"Goddamn it Johnny!" She exclaimed.

Johnny said "you should have believed me mom."

Jennifer said "alright Johnny let's prepare for an emergency. Get up to your room and stay there until further notice."

"Oh my God" yelled Jennifer as she grabbed her cellphone to call her husband at work not knowing what the future would hold.