I dreaded the loss of our friendship when you told me you were going to pursue Law school. You were two years older than I was so it was inevitable that you would move on earlier.
It would be a huge adjustment... not having you around. No more silent shadow over my shoulder. I will have more time to spend with my girl friends. I could decide to skip practice. I could get the short ride home instead of the long, winding walk you like. I could... do things without having to think about you. The idea saddened me.
So imagine my surprise when I still found you waiting for me outside the hallway after the end of my class. You still walked me home.
One day you told me that you would have to leave the city to review for the Bar. I felt the same dread but I chocked it back and showed you only smiles and support. I was working by then so I didn't think I would miss you much. I ended up sad whenever I walked home. I began taking the gray bus.
Today I was woken up by a call.
"Blue? Yeah. Good morning. I don't wanna disturb you but I uh, I passed the bar."
"You passed the bar."
"I passed the bar."
I squeal. "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you! Wow!"
"Yeah. I found out this morning. Listen, I can't sleep anymore. Can we... grab breakfast?"
I look at the time. Die a little inside. "Yeah of course! Let's celebrate! Give me an hour?"
"Yup. Thanks. See you in a few!"
I rushed over and the first thing you did was open your arms to me. I went in. It felt natural for me to hug you. It was probably only the third or fourth time we embraced in the five years we have known each other.
"Congratulations!" I told you again.
"Thanks!" We let go and you led the way into the restaurant.
"Where'd you and your family celebrate Red?" I asked, making conversation.
"We haven't. I just found out this morning."
I tripped a little and stared at your shoulder as you walked ahead. Were you... celebrating this milestone with me first?
You looked over and waited until I caught up then seated me. You sat across me and asked me what I wanted as I flipped through the menu.
Clarity. I wanted clarity. I wanted a clear label for this. But today was your day and I didn't wanna ruin anything.
So. I smiled at you and asked for the Half and Half pasta instead of asking what was I to you. I got the iced tea instead of an answer to why you never spoke to me of love. I got the mango cake so I would stop myself from wondering why you've never held my hand. We had a hearty breakfast.
I didn't take the gray bus home that day.