I cant remember anything before this... What is this? This ocean of endless foggy black waters. It feels like I've been sulking here forever. Sailing alone in this old dead-looking ship with an eerie sensation of guilt. It was my closest attempt at making the most of not being able to remember myself. As of this moment, I was in my room on deck. I guess one could say that I was lucky to be the captain of my own life, but I'd trade it all away in a heartbeat, if only, to break through the loneliness.
I didn't even want to open my eyes. All I wanted to do was stay in my bed and sleep the days away. Whatever a day was. Time was relative. I wasn't sure how long I had even been here. If the time wasn't lengthy, it sure felt like it. Adam was the only person who made getting up feel as if it was worth anything. He was the guy who was currently peeping through the crack in my wooden door like some kind of uncontrollable pervert. Apparently, I was so lonely that I was willing to be friends with just about anyone and Adam just so happened to be that guy.
I had first met him here, on the ship, only a little while ago and, apparently, he had no memory of his past either. He was just like me. Adam had told me that his consciousness could only go as far as his appearance on the ship. He also mentioned that he had awakened on a different section, but I had never even bothered to explore any of these other locations. I was so consumed by my personal sadness that I had never found it to be worth any effort.
The one thing that irked me the most was the fact that I could not remember the reason for my heartache or why it was even happening. This was all very interesting and despite Adam having a personality I, generally, tried to avoid we simply had far too much in common for me to just not talk to him. It wasn't long before I found myself pressing my palms into the window pane just to stare at my black nails. It also wouldn't be long before I found myself facing the ocean breeze.
'Why does Adam waste time telling me that I am beautiful..?' I think.
Maybe I did have a fairly decent complexion, but I definitely was not feeling like America's next top model. All that aside, it didn't stop me from reaching for the door knob. I hesitated, only for a moment, and nervously rubbed my hands against my hips. I was wearing a t-shirt and black shorts, so tattered, that it was basically a skirt. It was pretty short too, which somehow made me feel a little trampy. Then again, It's not like I got to choose my outfit. When I had woken up on board, that just so happened to be what I was wearing. I had a wardrobe as black as my memory and knowing I wasn't the only one really helped me come to terms with that... It was a strange coincidence. That was when I opened the door and nearly hit that peeping tom, Adam, in the face.
"Are you okay?" I ask with false concern.
"Of course I am! Just be careful next time." He replied.
"Or you could just not be a pervert?" I snarl.
"Pervert? Me? Ha, I have no idea what you're talking about!" He lied as I cocked a weak smile.
He wasn't really all that handsome and I can't say that I had intimate feelings for the guy either. He was just a friend... A friend who I could have around amidst all my crazy loneliness. This smokey scenery wasn't helping the feeling much either, so I decided to give the solitude in this world a name. I decided to call this place; "The Abyss."
I turned my gaze to Adam and noticed that his skin wasn't brown like mine, it was a unique olive color. He had the option of being mysterious with, what looked like, a face mask around his neck, but I guess it was a good thing he choose not to be any more creepy by using it. Then again, when you have an axe attached to your back, its not like you can get any creepier! His face was unique paired with the big brown curls on his head. I can't think that I, personally, ever felt unique or special with my really boring shade of soft black locks.
"Your hair looks pretty." He said with a promiscuous blush. "I like how it's only braided on the ends... It's c-cute."
"Thank you." I reply coldly.
"Haha, you should really learn to take compliments better... I mean, you wont see me rejecting kind words and I'm dressed like a tattered up executioner!"
"Nonsense, dear Adam. I happen to think you are properly dressed for a voyage on the abyss."
"Why do you think were in the abyss?" Adam asked.
"Look around you... The world has never changed from dim and foggy since we've arrived." I respond.
"Still. It gives me this sense that I'm in danger." He sighed.
"Would it really surprise you if we were?" I questioned.
"Haha, I guess you're right." He giggled.
It was in a way that was almost oblivious to my grouchy attitude... Which I secretly liked. What I didn't like, however, was the way he awkwardly let out a cluster of fake laughs to show how much he approved of my company. It was only a few seconds later before we would make our way to the edge of the ship just to stare at the groggy waves of black ink brushing against the spooky looking vessel.
"All of this... It's kind of strange isn't it?" He asked. That was when I noticed his focus was fixed on the water as he said it. "Blanche, how do you figure we ended up in a place like this?"
"Why ask me?" I reply.
"I dunno, but I have this suspicion that we might actually be..."
"Be what? Dead?" I interrupted.
"I dunno..." I say with a pause looking at the dimly lit sky. "Even if we are, it doesn't really matter if we hardly remember anything from the past."
"Any specific details you can recall?" He asks as I close my eyes in response.
Despite them being closed, I can feel my eyes water from behind my eyelids and a face suddenly appears within the recesses of my mind followed by that oh so familiar sense overwhelming sadness... But why?
Adam was silent for awhile after he had asked the question. Perhaps he was in a daze of his own as well? He showed no signs of worry and didn't rush my response in any way. He made me feel comfortable and somehow I knew that he was someone I could trust. I was so at ease just having him listen to me that I had no issue telling him everything I was thinking about. And without hesitation, that is exactly what I did.
"Well, there is one thing..." I finally say as the cool breeze brushes against my lips.
"There is a man... in my memories." I muse. "Sometimes he appears in my dreams and I remember everything about him."
"Wow, I can hardly remember anything about anyone..." Adam sighs.
"Well, I can remember everything about him... Everything except his name."
"What was he like?" Adam pondered.
"He wasn't an ugly guy, but he wasn't really a guy I held any romantic feelings for either... He was like a friend or maybe even a brother."
"You remember anything about his identity?"
"I can remember the way he made me feel and the things he did... He would always make me laugh and tell me the most amazing stories."
"What kind of stories?"
"They were like no book I've ever read... His stories were special to me." I say pausing to take in all the images that poured into my mind.
"Hmm... These stories, what were they about?" He asked.
"They were about..."
I couldn't help but awkwardly pause. Finishing the sentence was a challenge only because of the memories swirling through my thoughts. It felt like a curious well of joy and sorrow. One that would leave someone in awe of something unforgettable.
"About what, Blanche? Are you there? He said leaning in intently.
"It's nothing important." I said.
"Do you really care that much?" I sighed.
"I-I'm just curious is all..." Adam said calming himself down. "You don't have to tell me."
"They were about me." I finally mutter with a weak smile.
"About you? What does that even mean?"
"It's hard to explain." I said. "Basically, every story he told was about me going to different places; Sometimes different worlds. I didn't feel special or interesting at all, but his humor and stories always found a way to make me feel like..."
"Oh... That is strange." Adam said as I nodded in agreement. "He definitely sounds like an odd guy."
"Yeah, he was, but in the best way..." I sighed.
I didn't really want to keep talking about it. I was too distracted by the memories I had pulled out of my mind only to realize I could not be free of them. I deeply missed this guy and everything in me had to find him.
"No one quite like him, huh?" Adam said quietly intercepting my thoughts.
"Something like that." I replied as the wind brushed against the braids that sat over my right shoulder.
"In my own way, I can oddly relate..." Adam said.
"Hum." I sigh.
"You know, it's said that you can never truly replace the people you cherish." Adam said.
"I suppose so." I reply as we both sit in the cool night breeze staring at the glowing white moon.
"Your bond with that guy must be stronger than death itself." He said.
"... I wonder how true that really is." I mutter sadly.
"Why do you doubt, Blanche?"
"Because, as wonderful as he seems, it doesn't change the fact that I can't even remember who he is."
We didn't say anything after that. We just quietly sailed along staring into this infinite ocean, I called the Abyss. Together, but alone, we somehow knew the other was contemplating the possible stories of our past. Remembering was impossible. Ever since I spoke about my memories, it's been nothing but a whole lot of nothing and a crap ton of silence... Awkward silence.
"The winds picking up..." Adam finally said while approaching me much closer than necessary.
I gently pushed him over a little as he forcefully moved his body closer to mine. I guessed he wasn't getting the hint and I knew that was the case when I had to slap his wrist after l noticed him slowly moving his hand over my shoulder.
"I admit, the breeze is relaxing." I say while pretending he isn't acting like a sex offender.
"Yeah, we should just... Take it in." He replies reaching for my left butt cheek.
"Who raised you!? An animal!?"
"Owie, ow, my cheek..." Adam groaned rubbing the side of his face.
"Serves you right." I scoff.
"It's okay... I like e'm... Feisty." He said.
"There is a storm approaching..." I said turning towards the ships sailing direction.
"B-But it feels so nice." He whined.
"Adam, please don't tell me you have not heard the saying calm before the storm?"
"B-But... We were having a moment!"
"Yeah right." I scowl.
"How can you really tell if it's going to storm in the first place? How do I know you're not just trying to escape the romantic moment we were having?" Adam swooned.
"I guess, You could just call it a woman's tuition." I wink.