Officer Bill E. Clubb
Officer Bill E. Clubb had the day off. He stopped at Denny's for a Grand Slam. After that he drove up to a construction site. When he arrived he was greeted by his friends Jim Hopper and Raymond Harmon. When Bill got out of his car Jim and Raymond rushed over there with big smiles on their faces.
Officer Clubb shook hands with his two friends both of whom were members of the Ku Klux Klan. Jim yelled "fuck yeah Bill is going to be the new fucking police chief in Houston Texas."
Bill replied "you're Goddamn right."
After Officer Clubb sat down to have a beer with his friends he said "I've made this city a better place. It gives me a fucking headache to hear the parents of the punk s I dealt with on the news screaming police brutality and murder."
Raymond spoke up "hey maybe if that mother hadn't allowed her daughter to listen to Eminem they'd both still be alive."
Jim spit his tobacco and said "that father should have taken that Eminem music away and beat his 12 year old daughter's ass for listening to it in the first place."
Bill went on to say "well fuck him, he let his daughter listen to un-Christian music I don't approve of so I'm not sorry I killed his wife and daughter."
Jim and Raymond cheered.
Bill said "I'm the law period." He then exhaled and said he wanted some ice cream. He walked across the street and unfortunately the concrete was slippery from water and oil. He slipped and fell into a sewer that was full of alligators.
Jim and Raymond yelled "SHIT" at the same time and they rushed over to the man hole.
Jim yelled "THERE ARE FUCKING ALLIGATORS ON THE LOOSE IN THE SEWERS!"
Raymond yelled "GODDAMN IT I BETTER CALL 911."
Jim said "I should get a latter quick."
Raymond yelled down the man hole "ARE YOU OKAY BILL?"
Bill yelled up "OH NO I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!"
Raymond said "I'm calling 911 right now."
Jim said "Raymond is going to call 911."
Bill said "can you hear me?"
Jim answered "yes I can hear you."
Bill said "I think that a rat just crawled over me."
Jim asked "did he bite you?"
Bill answered "no."
Jim said "good."
Soon Bill said "I feel something bigger crawling on me."
Then a ton of screaming was heard.
Jim yelled "OH MY GOD BILL!"
The screaming from down the manhole was heard louder. Richard got off the phone with 911 and yelled "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"
Jim said "Bill is screaming from down there."
Richard got a flashlight 10 seconds later after the screaming stopped.
Richard shined the flashlight down the manhole and all he saw was blood floating in filthy sewer water.