It was another lazy day for the elder of the taekwondo twins. In the living room, Cindy laid upside down on the couch with her feet on the headrest.
"Ugh! It's barely the middle of the afternoon and I'm already bored out of my mind," the brash brunette moaned, slowly slipping from the couch. "I ate a whole box of Moonlight Munchies, chased the paperboy and whooped him. I even caught up on all my homework! What's a girl gotta do to kick back around here?"
"I believe I have the solution for that and your whining." Clark came in, wearing a pair of black and light blue socks.
"Pfft, this is rare. The heck are you doing wearing socks?"
"How about you sit up straight before you fall off the couch and I'll tell you." replied the bookish boy as Cindy sat right-side up.
"Alright, so what's the deal?" asked the sadistic girl.
"Well, big sis, I took a little break from my usual medical research and learned a few facts about static electricity."
"Isn't that the thing that causes your hair to stick up?"
"Yes, it is, and the reason for that is because the cells in your hair are made up of atoms, which consist of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Those electrons tend to travel between atoms, thus, causing them to be charged with electricity." explained Clark, boring his sister a little.
"Uh, interesting... still doesn't explain why you're wearing those socks, though." Cindy pointed out.
"You're about to see why. As you can see, I'm standing on this wool carpet. When I rub my feet on it, the electrons from the socks will produce a bit of electricity. Now, you're probably wondering 'Clark, how can we produce more static electricity?'"
"Nah, I'm wondering when you'll get to the point before I rub my fist against your face."
"Well... either way, observe."
With that, the younger twin briskly rubbed his socked foot against the carpet for about a minute, about to poke his flinching sister.
"This might sting a little..."
"Clark, you better keep that finger away from me or-"
Before she could finish, Cindy was zapped by a jolt of electricity the second Clark gently tapped on her chest. She seized with a yelp and glared at her brother, too furious to discover her hair sticking up every which way.
"What the heck is your problem, doofus?!"
Clark snickered to himself, "That was rich, if only I had a mirror on me."
"Why? So, you can see the black eye I'm about to give you?!" snarled the brash brunette.
"Look, you're more than welcome to get back at me. Just put these on and rub your feet against the carpet like I did," the boy with the undercut tossed a pair of black and pink striped socks at his sister. "Then, tap me when you feel you've gathered enough electricity."
"Seems simple enough. How long I do have to rub to get enough to kill you?"
"I... I'd rather not answer that..."
Cindy rolled her eyes and slipped on her socks. She quickly rubbed her feet against the carpet for a longer duration than her brother.
"Alright, prepared to get zapped, bro!" the sadistic girl smacked Clark on the arm, electrocuting him for a moment as he screamed. "Dang, that felt pretty good! Mind if I do it again?"
"I'd rather you didn't," grumbled Clark, his hair sticking out in the same manner as his sister. "I'm glad you find this entertaining but-"
"Kids! Who's up for some bacon-wrapped fish eyes?!" Uncle hollered from the kitchen.
"Hold that thought. Why don't we show baldy what we learned today?" Cindy smirked.
"Excellent idea, Cin! Heh, that's probably one of the best ideas you've come up with in a while." the younger twin grinned back.
"Yeah, whatever. Let's get that old fart in here. Ey, Uncle!"
"Yes?!" the elder called back.
"Could ya come here real quick?! Me and Clark gotta show ya something!" the brash brunette and her brother began rubbing their feet on the carpet again.
"Something like what?!"
"You'll see, get your flabby butt in here!"
"Alright! If it's that important, I guess these fish eyes can wait!"
"On three," Cindy began, getting ready to poke her caretaker with her brother. "One, two..."
Seconds later, Uncle waltzed into the living room and stood in front of the twins.
"Okay, what do you kids have for me?"
"Three!" the twins placed their hands on the elder's green robe, expecting him to be subjected to the same shock they suffered. But to their surprise, they were the ones on the receiving end of a very painful shock.
"Oh! Uh, was that the thing you wanted to show me? You guys getting electrocuted?" Uncle asked.
"No, you dope! We were trying to electrocute you!" Cindy snarled, angry that her plan didn't work. "Ey, Clark. You got another drawn-out nerdy explanation for this?"
"Not at the moment. I need to test something real quick," Clark briefly rubbed his foot and poked Uncle again to receive another shock. "That's peculiar... Either the material from your robe repels electrons or you're impervious to electricity, Uncle."
Uncle chuckled, "All thanks to this shockproof robe. I had a feeling in my gut I needed to wear this and I guess that's why! Now, who's up for some fish eyes?"
"I'll pass." Cindy grimaced.
"Ditto." replied Clark.
"Suit yourself, you're missing out," the elder chimed before he left for the kitchen. "It's a brand-new recipe!"
"Well, that surely could've gone better." the bookish boy shot another glare at his sister.
"Oh, come on. How was I supposed to know he had a shockproof robe? ...also, why are shockproof clothes a thing?" mused the sadistic girl.
"Hey, anything and everything's possible in a bizarre town like this."
"True that... say, wanna go zap some old dudes at the senior center?" offered Cindy.
"I'm game." Clark replied.
"Barrel of Puns"
Not much went on at the wooden house one day, so the gang thought it would be a good idea to sling their most cringeworthy puns towards one another. Cindy volunteered to go first and she decided to visit the room of her first victim: her brother, Clark. He laid in bed skimming a book about medicine, too caught up in his reading to notice the wicked grin on his sister's face.
"Hey, little bro. Ya feel like doing something later? That is... if you're not booked today." the brash brunette smirked.
"Get. Out." grumbled Clark.
Giggling out of her twin's room, Cindy went into the living room to bother ChuChu, who seemed to be knitting a quilt.
"You know, ChuChu, you could really use a trim. As they say, hare today, gone tomorrow!"
At this, the rabbit hissed and threw a ball of yarn at the girl about to make her departure. Last on her list was Uncle. In the backyard, he worked on another ceramic on his potter wheel.
"Man, molding that clay looks wheely hard." Cindy placed her hands on her hips.
"Indeed, it is. In fact, you could say it takes a wheel potter to do it. One with wheel skill who wheely knows how to get the job done." chuckled Uncle, hardly amusing the sadist.
"Okay, Uncle. I think I got it."
It was now Clark's turn and he was eager to subject his sister with a pitiful pun of his own. He found Cindy in the kitchen, munching on a piece of chocolate cake.
"Ah, devil's food cake, I see. Suppose that's the reason for gluttony being a deadly Cin." Clark posed with his fingers pointed like horns by the sides of his head.
"If you don't get out of my face..."
As for ChuChu, still knitting in the living room, Clark hid by the side of the couch and placed a toy train next to him.
"All aboard the ChuChu train!"
Like before, the rabbit hissed and threw two balls of yarn at his owner. The younger twin had only Uncle left to disturb.
"They say that everyone has feet of clay. But in your case, you seem to have hands of clay."
"Oh, I couldn't have said it better myself! Now that you mention it, I should've taken my arthritis medicine before I started working. Molding and frail hands definitely don't mix." Uncle sighed as the bookish boy chuckled awkwardly.
"Yeah, isn't that the truth..."
Uncle was up next and the rest of the gang knew they had to prepare for whatever he had in-store for them. Especially when it came to his offbeat sense of humor. The elder started with Cindy, now eating an ice cream sundae.
"Did I ever tell you the time one of the old pals stole a sundae? Oh, it was a mess! He lugged about two pounds of ice cream, hot fudge, and sprinkles only to-" began Uncle as Cindy covered her ears and loudly sang.
"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! Not listening to you or your dumb story! Get lost before I throw this sundae on your bald head! This is supposed to be a pun-off, not a boring old people story-off!"
Uncle moved on to Clark, reading on his bed once again.
"When I was your age, the libraries I've been to were nowhere near as huge as the ones we have today. You could find every book in the Dewey Decimal System on just one shelf and it was a small shelf too! About the same size as a shoe box! I bet I could..."
As Uncle rambled, Clark pulled out a pair of earplugs from inside his shirt and popped them in without a word. Meanwhile, with ChuChu...
"I will never forget the quilt my mother knitted for me as a child. It had all sorts of patches on it like an acorn, representing the time I nearly choked on one while chasing a squirrel. A jar, representing the time I had a peach pit collection. A straw, representing the time someone dared me to drink a caterpillar smoothie. A rabbit's foot, representing the time I-"
ChuChu let out another shrill hiss, tossing his needles to the side before he lunged himself at the caretaker's face.
"Ow! Ouch, easy there! I was about to say I found one in the middle of the road! I could never cut off a rabbit's foot, ow!"
Minutes later, the rabbit cooled off by knitting the last of his quilt. Now that he was finished, he thought he'd bother the rest of the gang with his own jokes. Starting with Cindy, capping off her meal of sweets with a vanilla milkshake. ChuChu sat on the table beside the brash brunette and squeaked his pun as she groaned.
"You're lucky this milkshake's keeping me from yanking your ears off!"
Next, the rabbit pestered Clark with another pun.
"Aw, come on, ChuChu," the younger twin shook his head in disgust. "You're better than this."
Lastly, ChuChu told his pun to Uncle, who, unsurprisingly, found it more humorous than the twins.
"Oh, ChuChu, you really have a way with words, you know that? Next thing you know, you're gonna find yourself on stage in front of an audience just looking to laugh with everybunny's favorite comedian!" chirped Uncle, only to be attacked by ChuChu again. "Ow! Oh, come on, you know that was a pretty bunny joke-ow! Enough with the biting!"
"Speak Off the Fluff"
One evening, Clark was in his room with ChuChu resting on his bed. He was about to test something he should've tested before he transformed into the immensely capable rabbit he was today.
"Okay, ChuChu. We know you can use taekwondo to the best of your ability. You can walk like a regular human. You can clean, you can cook, you can repair the television in a matter of seconds. Now it's time for the moment of truth. Let's see if you can speak like a human. You're capable of doing all these things, there's no reason why you can't do this. Now, speak!"
The bookish boy pointed at his rabbit as he gave him his command, but ChuChu just blinked in response.
"Don't you hesitate, speak! ...speak! ...speak!"
But Clark still couldn't get a word out of his rabbit.
"Hmm, perhaps telling you in another language will help... falar!"
Just like before, no response from ChuChu. He stared into his owner's determined blue-violet eyes with a tender expression.
"Ugh, why don't we try this?" Clark took a few steps away from ChuChu, then teleported back and pointed. "Speak! Speak, dang it! I command you to speak!"
ChuChu cocked his head slightly and mewed like a kitten.
"Oh, curse you and your cuteness. How about we call it quits for today? Maybe you'll say something the next day or the day after, who knows? I won't pressure you, little guy. Just for trying, how about I give you a snack? I'll go get some of those hay biscuits you like so much."
As the boy left his room, ChuChu wiped the sweat from his nonexistent brow.
"Whew! Close call... had I said anything, who knows what kind of awkward reaction he would've had." sighed the rabbit.
"ChuChu, did you say something?" hollered Clark.
"Oh, crud!" ChuChu whispered to a second, reverting back to his squeaking.
"Okay, but just because I'm not there doesn't mean you can talk about me behind my back! Cindy already does that, I don't need you to follow suit, understand?"
ChuChu squeaked again, remaining silent until he heard Clark moving downstairs. "Geez... oh, don't worry. I won't keep this a secret from him for too long."
It had been hours since the twins came home from winning the soccer tournament and seeing how Uncle practically forced them to compete due to their Brazilian heritage, the elder was still celebrating. Still in his flamboyant headdress and a rainbow of beads around his neck, Uncle continued to dance over the samba music blaring from his boombox. The twins didn't seem to mind at first but at this point, the celebration needed to come to a close.
"Uncle? Uncle!" Cindy cried, entering the living room with her brother. "The heck are you doing?!"
"There are my two pro players in the making! Here to keep celebrating with your favorite uncle?" asked Uncle, finding the siblings by the entrance.
"One, you're not our favorite uncle and two, why are you still making a ruckus? It's been hours since we won the tourney, could you cut down on the partying for tonight?" sighed Clark.
"Aw, what's wrong? Already tired of your country's vibrant ways when it comes to celebrating?"
"It's not just that, we're tired of seeing you shake and gyrate with that stupid thing on your head!" the sadistic girl spat, pointing at her caretaker's headdress.
"But isn't this what dancers usually wear during a carnival? You can poke fun at me all you want, but it's not gonna keep me from shaking what my mother passed onto me!" the elder chirped.
"Then, this calls for drastic measures. ChuChu!" the bookish boy cried, summoning his rabbit to the living room with a soccer ball.
"Oh, great idea! No reason to leave ChuChu out of the fun! Everyone's welcome to dance with me!"
"Uh... let's just say he's going to show off his fancy footwork in a more abrasive way." Clark nodded at his rabbit, who kicked the ball at Uncle's head, knocking off his headdress as it bounced onto his boombox to break it.
"Ow! Oh no, my boombox! My dance hat thingy! Aw, what an awful way to end a party..." the caretaker moaned.
"And now that your little dance party's over, I think I'll have a celebration of my own! See ya dorks later!" Cindy skipped up to her room.
"And I'll do the same, but with less music and suggestive dance moves. Come on, ChuChu." Clark left for his room with ChuChu clung to his back.
"Ugh, at least, they're going to have a grand time without me... oh, wait a minute, Uncle! Your boombox may be dead but this party," Uncle whipped out an mp3 player. "...is far from finished!"
"Seeds of Lout"
The twins were lounging in the living room one summer afternoon. Cindy feasted on half of a watermelon, paying more attention to Clark napping on the other side of the couch than the television. As she took another bite of the sweet, fresh fruit, gathering a small amount of seeds in her cheeks, an idea popped up in her head. Without thinking, the brash brunette spat one watermelon seed at her brother's head. Being the heavy sleeper of the two, he didn't budge. That's when Cindy spat out the last two seeds in her mouth and still no response from him. She took about four more bites of the melon, holding a decent amount of seeds in her mouth. In quick succession, Cindy spat out the seeds like a machine gun but Clark still didn't react.
"Hah, this is what I love about heavy sleepers. You can do whatever you want to do them and they'll just snooze through it!" the long-haired girl grinned to herself, firing more seeds at her brother. "Oh, what's that, little bro? Not enough seeds? I got you."
With that, Cindy took a huge bite of the watermelon and spat out a barrage of seeds at Clark.
"Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! Man, that was great! And now, I gotta get some more watermelon. Be right back, bro."
As soon as the female twin headed for the kitchen, Clark woke up and discovered the clutter of watermelon seeds surrounding him.
"Mmm, what the heck? ...ugh, this is probably Cindy's doing. Little does she know, I know how to counter to her seed dilemma."
Minutes later, Cindy returned from the kitchen with the other half of the watermelon and Clark sleeping soundly on the couch.
"And I'm back! Whew, I hope you're ready for some more seeds, little bro," the brash brunette took a bite of her fruit, gathering more seeds in her mouth. "Think fast!"
And that's exactly what Clark did. He instantly spat out a row of cherry pits at his sister, much to her surprise.
"Ow! What the-how did you-I thought you were asleep!" the elder twin spat.
"It appears you thought wrong, big sis. I knew you were the one behind the watermelon seeds, so I hope you enjoyed the little pit surprise I made for you." smirked the younger twin.
"Always like you to be one step ahead, huh, little bro? Then, how about we take our seed war outside!"
"Mmm... mmm... mmm! Oh, man, this pudding is literally heaven on earth!" cooed Cindy, savoring her bowl of dulce de leche pudding.
One thing the sadistic brunette loved more than fracturing the bones of innocent bystanders was sugar. No matter what form, she enjoyed every single sweet that graced her taste buds. Cakes, cookies, ice cream, cream puffs, pudding, they all contributed to satisfying her undying sweet tooth.
"What I'd do to just swim in this stuff all day. Imagine taking a bath in nothing but pudding or better yet, nothing but sugar. I could just lick myself clean and still satisfy my craving for the stuff. ...man, why the heck am I sitting here daydreaming about this? I could probably fix myself a bath of sugar right now! To the fridge!"
That being said, the voracious Cindy raided the kitchen of any form of sugar she could find to toss it into the bathtub. After that, she scoured the bakery, scooping up cakes, cookies, donuts, and other baked goods for her collection. At the local market, the brash brunette snatched tubs of ice cream and syrup and even picked up some sprinkles for the road. When she finished cramming all of her sweet findings in the tub, she grinned to herself.
"Yep, I think that's good for now. All that's left to do is dive right in!"
Moments later, Clark strolled to the restroom, noticing the door barely open. He had also been greeted by a trail of mint chocolate ice cream on the wooden floor.
"I swear, if this is another one of Cindy's absurd ideas..." the boy with the undercut muttered to himself, opening the door to see Cindy in the tub with her mountain of sweets. "What the heck are you doing?!"
"Sheesh, you could've knocked, you doofus!" the long-haired girl spat.
"Not my fault you didn't close the door all the way! Cindy, I'm aware you have the brain of a psychopath, but what in the world drove you to do something like this?!"
"Aw, come on, bro. Don't tell me you haven't thought about bathing in sugar once in a while."
"No, because it's unsanitary and downright insane! Also, I don't like sugar as much as you do and after witnessing this high-fructose fiasco, I dislike it even more! I really hope you're pleased with yourself." Clark folded his arms, disappointed in his careless sister.
"I'm up to my neck in wafers and gelato, why wouldn't I be?" smirked Cindy, having zero regrets as always.
"Ugh, I'm not wasting another minute in here. You better clean up when you're done... and throw away the towels afterwards, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Though, I doubt I'll cleaning up anytime soon..."
"What was that?"
"Nothing! Geez, let a girl have her sugar bath in peace."
"Sight for Four Eyes"
"Ey, Clark. Oh, wait, I mean, four-eyes!" hollered Cindy, nudging her brother in the arm.
On a sunny afternoon, the twins were hanging out in the backyard. Clark reading at the picnic table, wearing his black reading glasses.
"Aw, come on, that nerd book can't be more important than chatting with your big sis. What's up?" the brash brunette poked her twin in the arm a couple times before he slapped her hand away.
"Nothing. Could you leave me alone so I can study?"
"Studying more of that medical crud, huh? Don't you ever get tired of reading those books all day?"
"No, but I get tired of you constantly pestering me when I do."
"Stop reading 'em and spend some time with me for a change! We can sneak into the movie theater and catch that alien flick ya always wanted to see. The one with the mutant hamsters or something like that?"
"As much I'd love to, I can't. Now, please get lost." scowled Clark.
"Fine, I'll give ya your space. Have fun being a dork with your dork books. Also, why do you have to wear those dorky glasses when you're studying? So you can feel more like a dork?"
"They're reading glasses, moron."
"No, they're nerd glasses, Sir. Geek-a-lot. Here, gimme those." Cindy snatched the glasses from her brother's eyes, yanking them away when he tried to claim them back.
"Cindy! Ugh, give them back!"
"Nope! I just wanna see what it's like to be a nerd and from hanging around you 24/7, it shouldn't be too hard."
"Well, this should be painful to watch..." the younger twin rested his hands on his face, watching his sister put on his reading glasses.
"Heh! Look at me, I'm Clark!" the elder twin impersonated in a goofy voice. "And I'm a huge dork who likes to do nothing but read boring medical books all day! I read them so much, I don't even know what a social life is!"
"I love how you don't even try to sound like me."
"Aw, shut it, you know it's pretty darn good impression. Now, where did I put my trusty calculator..." the brash brunette took a step, quick to discover how her vision was altered by the glasses. Her surroundings appeared blurry and tilted forward like she jumped into a video game. "Holy crud, what's with these glasses? It's like everything's tilting one minute and a kaleidoscope the next... I feel like I'm gonna hurl..."
"What's that? Is that the sound of complaints from my dear sister? The same one who said being a nerd isn't too hard?" Clark teased with a grin.
"Okay, you win! You can have your dork glasses back!" Cindy threw her twin's reading glasses back at his hand. "Now, if you excuse me, I gotta-mmph!"
Clark chuckled and shook his head as his sister scurried inside.
"And that marks another victory for the brilliant twin..."