I have always lived in a world

Plagued by death.

Whether it's people I

Don't want to let go of

Leaving me in the land of the living,

Or my continuous battle between my

Want to die,

And struggling to

Live when I don't want to.

What I do know is that

Although the word "death"

Has many different meanings

For many different people,

My definition of the words "to die"

Means to lose yourself without dying,

And to die without losing yourself.

But if you try hard enough,

You can do both.

For example,

I started off this school year

Struggling to re-find myself

After years of my heart telling me

"Don't let anyone know who you are."

I wanted to follow my heart

The way I had for years,

Even through my

Want o be accepted for who I am.

For the first time ever,

I decided

To listen to myself,

The person I knew I was inside.

Over time, I opened up the doors

To myself and let myself

Be myself.

Although I isolate often,

And have changed in many ways,

I, for the first time in my life,

Am happy to be

Alive.