She's dancing, twirling in a rhythm which can only be called as hypnotic. I'm stuck to her, transfixed by the skirt gliding around her body and her arms flicking grace into the air. She's beautiful and I want to know her. Not just know her, but really know her. I push my way through the crowd, stumbling as someone throws out their drunken arm and shouldering it, mumbling an angry apology and moving on. She's still there, that beauteous girl who my sights are locked on. I scrimmage through the rest of people and then I'm there standing right before her as she continues to twirl. Her hair flies round her face and as she turns she pauses, her arms mid-air, as she looks at me. She smiles, a small wafty smile and turns away. My heart thuds and I reach out, grabbing her arm as if it's the only thing left in the world. Her face is straight towards me, the smile gone and I know I shouldn't of done that.
"Go away," she shoots in my direction.
"You're pretty," I say, not knowing what else to do but speak the truth.
She smiles, but it's a fake one to please and an arrow flies through my chest. I'm just like any other guy to her.
I let go of her arm and she turns away, quickly evaporating in the crowd. I had my one chance and I had messed it all up. Angry I fight my way through the crowd, finding it harder than before though I think it's just because I'm allowing myself to get caught up instead of dodging. I stop when I reach the edge and look back, craning through the heads for a final glimpse of her. She's gone.
I had been so sure that she would take one look at me and that would be it, that's what I thought about her so why shouldn't it work the other way? I was so wrong.
I turn to feel my friend's hand on my shoulder.
"You look a little down," he yells over the music.
"I tried it with a girl."
"Blew it." I look back to the crowd, wondering where she is now.
"Ah well there's plenty more. Look at that blonde over there."
I look but I don't care. She's nothing like the girl before, not even close. I shrug.
"I might head off soon." It's not like but I'm done for the night. I had my shot and I know I won't be having another.
"Aww c'mon, the party's just heating up."
"Ten more minutes," I reply.
"I won't be babysitting you home," he shouts.
I laugh. "I'm the one that babysits you."
He knows it's true and just gives a lopsided smile. "Have a bit of a dance, maybe it'll change your mind." He jigs off, doing what he thinks is something cool but just looks daggy.
I shake my head at him and lean against the wall. This was going to be a long ten minutes.
I watch as the bodies meld together, hair spraying faces and skirts flying higher than they should, some with the help of fiendish hands. I was done with all this, it was fun but not for me anymore.
I check my phone and find that ten minutes has passed. Searching the crowd for one of my friend's to let them know I was leaving I saw her. It's the hair I realise and for a flash of a second it reminds me of someone else, though I can't place who. She's talking to someone, moving at the same time and she's laughing. I wish it was me that was making her laugh. Her friend, I presume, touches her arm and they throw their heads back, then the other girl walks away leaving her alone.
I've already dug myself into a deep enough hole, what's the harm in digging it deeper.
I move forward, right up to her and when she spins to the music she glances me and stops.
"What do you want?" She says and though it's loud and she must be shouting, I hear it clearly.
What do I want? I want to do with her, I want her to smile at me, I want to know her.
"I want to talk."
She shakes her head. "I don't want to talk with you."
Of course she didn't, she didn't know who I was, I could be a creep for all she knew.
Of course I'm not drunk. If I really was drunk I would be going for that girl with the blonde hair but most likely she was just using it as an excuse for me to go away.
"No I'm not." I feel like a child stating it, but I need to say the truth. If I was drunk I wouldn't be so honest.
"Bro go away."
I stand for a moment not sure what to say, surprised that she would call me bro. Then I smile, she must be one of those girls who are very casual about what they call people. I wonder if I should call her dude or gal.
"How about a quick chat?"
Her eyes flicker for a moment as if she's thinking.
"Sure, but let's talk outside." She grabs my arm and inside my heart flutters.
We begin to walk towards the door but then she stops.
"I'm going to run to the bathroom, I'll meet you out there."
I know this could be a ploy. I know she could be about to run off and leave me out there in the cold. I also know that this is the closest thing to a chance I'm going to get.
The air outside is only slightly cold. I wish I had brought a jacket but when I had left home the sun had been warm. As I stand with my arms wrapped around myself I wonder if she'll come out. I'm hoping desperately that she will, that she'll come out and smile at me and we can talk and really each other. She's taking too long but I'll wait as long as it takes.
I see the door open and a breath of music floats outside. There is she, walking towards me with a smile. This is it.
"Hey," I say.
Outside only a few cars come down the streets every now and then so it's odd when I see one pull up on the road beside us. I glance briefly and see that it's a taxi but there's no one out here except us. What's she done hits me, she's leaving.
She gives a sideways smile and opens the back door, speaking quickly to the driver. I wait for her to get inside, hoping there's enough time to ask for her number.
She steps back and holds the door open.
"Get in," she says.
I wasn't expecting her to say that but willingly I get in.
"Where are we going?"
"You're going home." She shuts the door.
Hastily I wind down the window. I want to open the door but she's standing right in front of it.
"You've had enough."
"Come with me then."
She laughs, the laugh that I wanted to give her though I didn't think it would come from these circumstances.
"You're going to wake up in the morning and realise what you've done, I'm saving you from making that regret worse."
The taxi driver is tapping the wheel impatiently.
Maybe it's because I'm tired but I don't want to resist.
"Can I at least have your number?"
"Give me your phone."
I pull it out of my pocket and hand it to her. She flips through it quickly, pressing some buttons and handing it back to me.
"Looks like I'm already in there."
My eyebrows frown and she sticks her head towards the driver.
"You can go now," she says loudly to him. She takes a step back and smiles the beautiful smile. "When you wake up, you'll realise."
The car starts and I can feel it beginning to move off. I hang onto the edge of the window and watch as she waves, disappearing into the night. Sitting back I look at my phone for the first time since she handed it back. She's opened it to my contacts page and highlighted particular one, the one that must be her. I bring it closer to my face.
"Oh fuck." I slap my hand against my head, barely feeling the force of it.
The driver glances at me.
She had been wrong, I didn't have to wait til morning til regret it, I was already welling with it now.
"I just tried to hit on my sister."