21 January 2018

Well, 3 weeks ago I had about 30k left to write on my novel. I've only added 2k since.

Depression sucks. Can anyone suggest a different career for someone who is sick and tired of teaching people (teens) who actively fight a teacher trying to help them learn? It is draining the life out of me. I can't think of anything else, which sucks, because I know I should disengage when I'm not working, but it seems, the way the accountability is going in education - not to mention "technology will solve every problem", that I am ALWAYS working. This week alone, I have put in more than 80 hours. 40 in the classroom, and I was required to self-pace learning a technical instructional delivery system, help 3 other colleagues figure it out too, write (well, rewrite) lesson plans because students were dragging their feet getting (any) writing done, and so the lesson plan I had for next week can't go. However, I am not allowed to do a "solo" plan - equity and parity are our watchwords - all students in all classes have to be given the same curriculum exactly. So I had to have a quick meeting with the others in my subject and get them onboard with a "slow down" too. That meant I didn't get papers graded. So I am sitting here, wanting to write, but instead I am grading the papers I couldn't during the week in hopes of a little personal down time - probably during the playoff games. Sigh.

I hate venting, ranting, etc. especially when it is not about writing. It always makes me feel selfish. However, hopefully this 'vent' will clear my system of enough bile that I can shower and come out ready to fight through another week.