The Orlando Pulse shooting really rocked me hard. As a queer woman I have always known there was a threat, as a woman I have always known, as an ally sexually/romantically, racially, nationally, religiously, ably, monetarily, politically I have always known. But I was never scared. I am now. I'm terrified. Terrified of losing my friends, my loved ones, more members of my community. Terrified that expressing myself could mean the loss of people completely unrelated to me because some bigot saw me and set off a chain of hatred. I'm so scared.

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"In the Morning I Knew Fear"

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Are you alive tonight

Do you feel what I mean

Are you thinking of tomorrow

Have you seen what I've seen

I died yesterday

Shot in the head

Where is my pulse now

When am I dead

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it's not my best work but honestly i'm just having a lot of feelings that i don't know how to deal with, so I'm just putting it into the world and hoping it helps me cope.