It's the day of Chloe's wedding, and I'm all set in the dress that Chloe chose for me. Beside me is Suzume who looks stunning in that rose satin gown, while I seem like a tree trunk stuffed with an extra large paper bag. I mean, okay, I don't look awful. It's just that when being beside a lovely actress blessed with great genes, I can't compare at all. I'm pretty sure I'm everyone's favourite bridesmaid since I make the bride appear very, very pretty.
Indeed, Chloe is absolutely beautiful in that cream, mermaid dress of hers. There are tons of sequins embedded within the dress, making her seem like a real princess. She really does have a personality of one too. I just hope that I don't ruin anything at this wedding. I mean, I did go to the rehearsals and such, but the ceremony is held at a large, historical church, and Chloe is actually a devote Christian. I don't know much about Christianity since my father is an Atheist and my mother likes to call herself a part-time Buddhist. I'm in between the two of them, so I'm pretty much a big mess for religion. Luckily, I don't have to do much except to walk down the aisle once and then stand to the side.
I relax once I do that successfully. I notice that there are a lot of people in this room staring at us. I wonder where Chloe's family is. I'm looking for anyone that resembles her, yet no one seems to be there. Odd. Wait . . . . even her father didn't walk her down the aisle. What is up with that? So weird. What about Julian? Where is he? I'm pretty sure he is supposed to be with the groom, but it's not like he's friends with Gregory. I actually don't see Julian anywhere in this room. Is he not even coming to see his own sister's wedding? What about Kirsten? She's . . . not here either. Really . . . bizarre.
I'm so distracted by my thoughts that Suzume has to lightly nudge me to remind me that it's time to leave for the reception. I feel awful that I didn't even listen to the couple's vows. I didn't even watch them kiss at all. Uh, I'm such a bad friend, and I'm actually such a loner too over here. I don't know anyone else besides Chloe and Suzume. Unfortunately, Suzume is busy doing her own PR, trying to promote some movie of hers, giving out signatures, and taking photos with several of her fans. As for Chloe, she is changing into her other dress and she won't have time to stick with me at all.
Sigh . . .
"You look like you need a drink," I hear someone say.
I glance to my right to discover that a boy with blonde hair and blue eyes is handing me a glass of Pinot Noir. "Thank you?" I mutter while accepting his offer. "But . . . who are you?"
"Oh . . ." He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand after taking a lengthy sip of his wine. "I'm Lee Kyungsoo, and you are?"
"Oh . . . I'm Leia Alder," I answer.
He actually takes my hand and kisses it. Then, peering up, he mutters, "Nice to meet you, Miss."
"Umm . . . nice to meet you too?" The two of us are sipping wine at the reception area. A waitress offers me some raw oysters, so I take one and slip it in my mouth. "So . . . you are here for Chloe or for Gregory?" I ask.
"Chloe's, of course," he responds.
"You're a friend of hers?"
"I guess you could put it that way."
"I see . . ."
There is that awkward silence between us before he suddenly chimes, "You seem very bored during the wedding. I thought that was pretty funny, watching you stare off to nowhere."
"Oh . . . Haha . . . I was just thinking." Again, there is that weird pause, so I accidentally blurt, "You know, you look very good almost like a movie star."
"I guess what they say is true," I hear him mumble. He then takes a look at his watch and in a panic, he announces, "Oh no! There's going to be a fire alarm in a minute!"
"What?" I bellow. "You serious?"
"Yeah! I talked to the wedding planner, and they said that they couldn't cancel it! I completely forgot to tell Chloe about it. You've got to tell her! Can you?" Kyungsoo's eyes widen so very innocently.
"Okay," I agree. "I'll sprint to her right now!" With that note, I dash so quickly that I forget that I'm in high heels. As a result, I end up crashing into someone. Bam! "Ah!" I shrill. "I'm so sorry!"
"It's okay." I recognize that calm, smooth voice. Could it be . . . "Are you all right?"
Instantly, I squeal, "Ah! Y-Y-Y-You're Cedric's fiancee, right?" Gianna offers me her hand, which I accept readily. "D-d-d-do you remember me?" I stammer quite nervously. I mean, this is Gianna we're talking about; she's even more intimidating than Kirsten. Gianna might not be as pretty as Kirsten, but Gianna has this regal aura that can attract anyone's attention. She's on a completely different level than most of us and the same goes with her fiance, Cedric. He is seriously the hottest guy I have ever, ever met. I even have trouble looking him in the eye, and it doesn't help that he's really smart too. Smart and hot . . . the perfect combination. Unlike his younger brother, Julian, Cedric is actually a real gentleman. Thus, he and Gianna make the best couple. I just love them so much that I'm probably creeping her out with my stare.
"Yeah!" I surprisingly hear that familiar, evil voice. "Nam Leia! What did I say about running off like a little girl?" I shift my attention to the voice coming from behind me, and I realize that it's Julian. What is he talking about me running off like a little girl and how he had warned me? What the hell? I'm so confused. To make everything even more complicated, Julian adds, "Look what you've done now! I've-"
"It's not my fault!" I yell back. "That blond guy over there said that there was going to be a fire drill in a minute, so I didn't want to hear that noise! That's why I was running."
"And you believed my stupid younger brother?"
"What?" I can't stop myself from pointing at Kyungsoo. "That . . . that blonde dude is your brother? But you two look nothing alike!"
"Same father. Different mother. Got it?"
"B-b-b-but . . .he looks so foreign and so good!"
Julian slaps his palm against his forehead, sighing, "Oh God. Please don't tell me you checked him out."
"I did . . . say that he could almost be a movie star." I try my best not to make eye contact with Julian. This is embarrassing enough, and worse of all, I'm being ridiculed in front of one of my idols, Gianna! "I mean . . . that doesn't count as checking someone out right?" I murmur.
Julian pinches my cheek, arguing, "Yes . . . that does count, stupid. Seriously, stop checking out other guys. You're like a perverted ajusshi."
"Wh-wh-what? I am nah a perveeted a-aju-sh-shi!"
He releases me and poses, "Then what? What do you want to be?"
That is a good question indeed. What would I want to be if I could choose? Mm . . . Marilyn Monroe? Yes. That actually sounds delicious. "Mm . . ." I mumble. "I think . . . I want to be a sexy lady in the future."
"You've already finished growing." He harshly spoils my dreams. "I think it's a bit late to be wishing that."
"No! A girl can dream!" I bellow.
"Right, right." Then, he dares, "Try a sexy move right here then. Let's see how far you are off from your dream."
"Oh, so I guess I am right," Julian comments, which makes me realize that the gloves need to be off. "You really can't be—"
I give him my best sexy move by squeezing my breasts together and sticking out my bottom. I angle my neck as high as it can go and purse my lips together. To add to everything, I keep my eyes shut. "What do you think?" I taunt and even do a hair flip. "Sexy enough?" I don't hear Julian say anything, making me wonder if I've really done it. I mean, okay, Gianna probably thinks I'm a freak, but she doesn't understand how annoying Julian has been lately. I just want this chance to hit him hard. Get revenge for once. Give him a bitter pill. Win.
"All right," Julian instructs. "Keep your eyes closed so I can figure out what score to give you."
"Fine," I sigh.
My eyes widen, and I realize that Julian is actually kissing me. Let go, I think and try to fight him. Obviously, he beats me in strength, keeping me steady by grasping my arms. I really don't get what the hell he's doing or what he's thinking. I'm already taken! Hello? Does he not understand that I'm someone else's girlfriend? Is he drunk? Drunk . . . wait . . .
I do smell some alcohol reeking from his mouth. No, actually, now that I think of it, there is a ton of alcohol oozing from his body. How many bottles did he finish drinking?
Julian at last frees me before giving Gianna a nod. Then, he pulls me away from Gianna rather forcefully. I let him do his thing as I keep wondering how many shots he has taken. His ears are red, and they only turn red when he's half-drunk or completely drunk. Is this why he missed out on the ceremony? He was too busy drinking? Why?
"Sit," Julian commands once he finds our table, "and stay. I'll grab us food."
Wait . . . what? The drunk Julian is trying to get me food? Is he out of his mind? I should be the one moving around, not him. Still, I listen to Julian's orders, and after twenty minutes, he is back with two plates of food. Obviously, he takes weird portions and mixes various flavours with one another. His mind isn't clear at all, but that's fine. I like my plates mixed with all the different types of food anyways.
As I dig in, I see Gianna coming over to our table. She takes a spot across from us and gives me a kind grin. I'm surprised that she's even willing to sit with us. I mean, I'm pretty certain that I freaked her out, and Julian did as well. He is intoxicated though. I don't think I should tell her that. That'll leave a more awful impression of him on her. While I am trying to figure out how to start a conversation with the lovely Gianna as I am eating, Julian unexpectedly grabs a napkin and rubs it all over my lips.
"Uh," he complains. "Why do you have to make such a big mess? You're such a little girl." I don't feel like making a scene in front of Gianna, so I just listen to him. I notice that he is taking more sips of wine, and I'm tempted to tell him to stop drinking. Just when I find the courage to do so, he lifts his fork, which has a piece of steak on it, and demands, "Try it. See if it's good."
What am I? His taste tester? The one who'll die before he's poisoned. Still, I notice that Gianna is watching; thus, I obey him and take a bite. As I'm munching on this surprisingly delicious steak, I overhear one of the relatives on the table talking about how Julian is actually some richard simmons's son. That richard simmons forced the proper wife to commit suicide and die. Julian must be just as awful.
"Hey!" I immediately get up from my seat and point at that wicked woman. "Just because his mother stole someone's husband doesn't make Julian an awful guy! Don't jump to conclusions when you know nothing!"
"How rude of you. He associates with such low class people. Ha!"
"S-S-S-S-Sit . . . " Julian's eyes sort of fade in and out as he mumbles. I can tell that the alcohol is hitting him hard, but he's doing a good job of fooling everyone that he's just tired.
Feeling bad for him, I offer him a bit of my lamb. "Try it," I suggest. I place the bit of meat onto the edge of his plate, but he holds onto my fork and stuffs it in his mouth.
"Not bad," he comments.
We continue eating until I reach out for my water and realize that I haven't spoken to Gianna! Ah!
"Unnie," I blurt. "Is it . . . okay to call you that?" Fortunately, she smiles at me and nods. "I'm so sorry about earlier!" I spew. "I didn't get a chance to apologize for what happened, but stupid Julian interrupted me. Anyhow, I'm Nam Leia!"
"Nice to meet you, Leia and your boyfriend, Julian," she replies.
I correct her, "N-n-n-no . . . we're not like that. Well, okay, we kind of are, but . . . it's sort of complicated. It's a long story, but—"
Julian, who had left for dessert, arrives at the table again, uttering, "We are together. In fact, we're engaged, isn't that right, Leia?"
What? Engaged? Together? What the heck is he talking about? He is seriously drunk. Should I tell Gianna the truth? But there are other people still around this table. They might gossip more. Okay. I . . .
"That's nice to hear," Gianna responds. "Congratulations! When do you plan on having the wedding then?"
"Well, we are sort of on hold about a wedding," I quickly add. "That's rather far. Aha."
"Oh, I see."
I stuff my face with some chocolate pudding as I think of some tactic. However, Julian grumbles, "Leia! Why do you have . . . slices of cake beside your pasta, steak, potato, lamb, and salad?"
What? Isn't he the one that gave me this plate? And now he is complaining? I really don't get him!
I decide not to make him lose face, so I just mutter, "Don't you know that's how I eat? I like having sweet and salty flavours together."
"What?" I argue. "It's good!"
You know the funny thing is that the drunk Julian reminds me of the Julian I've known for years. We can argue about anything, really, and it's fine. I actually miss those times when we'd argue about such trivial matters, like the chest size of some celebrity. Now, the usual us just argues about our friendship. That time at the New Year's party was odd too. He seemed very, very cold, and I felt like he was showing off his love with Kirsten in front of me on purpose.
That thought . . .
"I need to go to the washroom," I stand up and mutter.
As I walk out, I find Julian following me. I don't yell at him until we are out of the reception room. "Julian," I finally remember to confront him. "What the hell was all that for?"
"Wh-wh-what are you talk . . . talking about?"
He is slurring through his words now. I know he is reaching his limit before he either collapses or does something crazy. He has a tendency of blacking out when he's drunk. I know that from years of experience. That is why I hurry on with this argument before he can even think about disappearing, "The kiss. Telling Gianna unnie that we're getting married? What in the world are you thinking? Are you out of your-"
"I . . . I am crazy! Okay?" His hands crumple through his hair. Then, he grimaces at me, shouting, "Whose fault is it? Huh?"
"Why are you even so drunk?" I ask. "What in the world happened? Did you have a fight with Kirsten?"
"Are you going to leave too?"
"I don't get what you're saying," I tell him.
Julian's glare turns into a remorseful stare. "Don't leave," he whispers. "Please. Don't leave me alone. I have no one else now."
"Did she break up with you? What in the world-"
Julian forces himself on me, pushing me against the wall. His lips smash hard onto mine, nearly crashing into my teeth. I can sense how desperate he is and how lonely he must be, but . . . this . . . this isn't . . .
"Stop this!" I holler. "Stop this nonsense!"
He backs away, gives me one good look, and then opens his mouth for a good, old laugh: "Ha!" I hear a scoff before even more laughter. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" Shaking his head while smiling, he sputters, "This is nonsense! Everything is nonsense! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
"You're . . . starting to scare me now, Julian . . ."
He stops his laughing, and then announces with a serious, calm expression, "Let's not see each other anymore." Slowly, but surely, he enunciates, "I've . . . had . . . enough."
I feel my anger boiling. I can't believe how mad I'm feeling. I want to hurl something at him. I want to yell at him completely. How can he even say such words to me? I'm the one that's supposed to be telling him that, yet he does it first. Why'd he even kiss me? Why'd he even tell me not to leave? What's . . .
"You're right! Let's not see each other!" I repeat his words loudly. "I've had enough too! You jerk! Go rot in hell by yourself!"
I head out of this hotel and go catch a cab. I'm too mad to even do anything else. How can Julian be so irresponsible? How can he do this to me? Why is he still bothering me? Ugh!
I suddenly remember the conversation that I had with Jessica a while ago, and I know my answer quite clearly. I know . . . that I'm in love with two people, and I'm too selfish that I can't give any of them up.
I look out the window of the taxi and wonder what I should even do now. I'm just so lost.