The only thing I expected when I first came here was sitting in my room alone, lost in my own thoughts. Ignoring the chaos of the new arrivals outside my door scrambling to make new friends. Sure, I should be out there in the common space trying to establish some new friendships, but right now I'd rather not. I'd rather sit right where I am and look into those eyes that I remember so fondly.
The sun that shined through the window made you glow, your smooth skin could make a blind person smile. The way you seem to glimmer in the orange light of the setting sun only made me feel content, made me feel alright with what I am. It didn't matter who I was or what I've done, for the look that you gave me gave me the courage to be who I am. Your brown eyes lined perfectly with the light, as I stared I could see the tiny ridges of your iris dilate. They say when a person see's the one they love their eyes dilate, was this what you were feeling? Did you love me at one point? Was the love I felt for you going to be answered with a mutual feeling?
I couldn't think and I couldn't feel, but it didn't matter to me. Your eyes put me in a trance, the subtle movements that you made as you talked to me were hypnotic. Why did you have this effect on me? You were no different than the others I talked to, you were just another person who took the free seat next to me. What made you special to me? Maybe it was your nice demeanor towards me, maybe it was your ear that you let me talk into. Were you just being friendly? Or did it have a meaning?
I shook my head ridding myself of those deep thoughts. You were nothing to me, how could I possibly think you were something to me? Why would someone do that for me?
"Hey, you here?" You say from the open crack in my room door.
"Yeah, I'm here." I say as I look up. There you stood, as beautiful as ever. The light of the sun from my window made you glow with radience. That pose you had as you leaned up against the door would be perfect for my sketch.
"What are you drawing?" You say.
"Doodles." I reply quietly. Your lips turn into a small smile.
"Can I see?" You ask as you walk into my room. I don't say anything as you look over my shoulder, you rest your chin on my shoulder. I could feel the heat from your skin on mine, it makes me tense up.
"Is that me?" You ask quietly in my ear. Your warm breath tickled my ear slightly.
"Well, if you want it to be." I'm getting nervous, I can't get nervous. Not right now.
"Hm..." You quietly sigh. I could feel my hand shaking slightly, not enough to notice though. At least I hope.
"Is...something wrong?" I ask, you rest your head against mine.
"Does something have to be wrong?"
"No..."I reply nervously, I let go of my pencil as I stretch my hand. My muscles tensed up the moment you put your chin on my shoulder.
"I just felt like cuddling." You say. I could feel your hand slowly go up my arm, your movements are gentle. "I think I like cuddling." I noticed a slight mistake in my drawing, quickly I erase it. The graphite slowly fades as I apply pressure to the paper. In the faint black smudge I carefully write, hoping I don't make the same mistake again.
"Do you not like me doing this?" You ask, your hand works you way up my wrist, placing my hand in yours. Your hand is soft, almost like velvet. Maybe even softer.
"No...I like it to." I say. I hear you chuckle quietly, you take my hand in yours fully. I could feel the slight movement of your cheeks as you smile. The light of the sun dance on my walls, thats how I know you smiled.
"Good." Your voice is calming. It still gives me shivers, but it also gives me strength. I feel weak, but strong everytime I hear your sweet voice. Scared, but confident. I guess you could say I'm not sure what I feel.
At the flick of my wrist my sketch becomes complete, hours of work pays off in an instant. I lean my head away from you as I turn to you, your brown eyes light up as you stare at my completed drawing. You glimmer yet again, I can't help but smile.
"I hope you like it." I quietly say. You again smile, this time slightly. Your iris dilates again as you gently turn your head to me, the look in your eyes can make a person melt. You stare at me, put me in a trance yet again. How do you do that? Why do you do that? Does it amuse you when you make my heart skip a beat? Does it make you feel high and mighty when you have complete control over my heart?
Your lips taste sweet on mine, I could smell the lotion you use. The warmth of your skin on mine heats me up, I can't feel the wind from the fan beside me anymore.
I see your eyes dilate as you stare into mine, the ridges of your iris reflect the sunlight perfectly.
"I love you to." You say. I set down my sketchbook as I grab your hand in mine, my other hand caressing your shoulder as I fall into your arms.
I know why you did this for me, I know how I feel. I can't admit it to anyone else, it's just the way I am. But one of these days I'll beat this demon inside of me and let the world know. I'll scream at the top of my lungs to let them know how I feel for what you've done for me. For now though, I can only write how I feel, only express myself through lines and shades on a piece of paper.
I drew us, you and me in a loving embrace. Your hair flowing in the wind, your eyes as beautiful as they are in real life. Every curve of your body intertwines perfectly with mine. At the bottom I write "To my everything, whom I love with all my heart."
The only thing I expected when I first came here was sitting in my room alone, lost in my own thoughts. Ignoring the chaos of the new arrivals outside my door scrambling to make new friends. Sure, I should be out there in the common space trying to establish some new friendships, but right now I'd rather not. I'd rather sit right where I am and look into those eyes that I love so tenderly. To be with my everything, whom I love with all my heart.