Lead Me Home
People keep telling me the world is full of color.
That the sky is a marvelous blue in the mornings, clouds streaked with rose petals of pink and blazing orange. They tell me that the trees rise above us into eternity, leaves rippling emeralds on umber branches. That the rivers and creeks are alive with glittering fish of topaz and ruby.
And I believed them… Once upon a time, anyway.
Ever-laughing and ever-loud, they spoke of the graceful strokes in their view, smooth lines and vibrant hues coming together in something wonderful—or so they claimed.
It seemed that my world was not the same, however, for mine was one of harsh lines and broken angles in castings of black and grey.
I saw no grace… No life or change to the surroundings.
Not that they'd ever know.
I pretend to see as they do. I play my part perfectly, smiling at the harsh white sun.
Beneath my feet now, strands of dark grey softly squeak in morning dew, away from those that talk back home, their faces always seeming to vanish when I try to meet gazes resting on my shoulders in this bleached world.
They told me to go on a walk, leading me back to the trees, blackened trunks sharp in contrast to the thousand shades of grey their leaves provided in between.
Not all I did was in falsehood though… Not quite.
For one color still remained, though others had long faded from my memory.
A smile crosses my lips at the words, that familiar and timeless greeting between kindred spirits.
'So are you.'
Alone though I stand amidst these black and broken pillars in nature's cathedral, a familiar fire within tells me I am no longer here in solitude, his chuckle seeming to come as gentle laps of water upon shoreside rock.
Eyes closed now, I don't need to see as that warmth seems to slip over me in peace.
And… For just a moment… I leave behind this world of grey. This world of neither frigid nor molten hues.
Breath escaping lungs in a shaking gasp, I fall, only to be caught by that same presence, lifelike and tangible, almost more so than the world around me.
'Take me home, won't you?' I ask with a yearning tremble at last, fingers curling, though they had nothing to grip. 'Take me… Lead me there… Won't you?'
'You know I cannot do that' The presence speaks in noble care, voice tender in more ways than I could fully describe, his hold on my heart so tangible.
'Please… It wouldn't be so hard..' I find myself whimpering back, forehead now pressing to the ashen ground beneath me. 'You're all I seem to have anyway… I'm so tired of being alone…'
'You are not alone.' More firmly than before, the other speaks with whole intent, never scolding in this even tone. 'Others care for you here, remember that…'
"I'm trying…'" Words serving to escape on an audible sob, my hands are cold, now nothing more than balled fists in the wet grass as tears water them with shards of diamond. 'But I feel nothing here… Nothing in this lifeless world… I don't… Please… Help me see the color again… Help me be normal…'
Silence steals the last of my words, as a spirit would leave its body to quickly fall cold in death.
And together it is there that the presence and I hang in this solitude of broken sound, moments passing by only on the slowest exchanges of breath.
'If that is what you truly wish.'
Nodding fervently, I dig begging fingers into the ashen earth as Atlas would, shoulders bearing the weight of the world.
'If you won't take me home… At least help me face this awful place..'
Words ebbing away with every vowel spoken, I find them steadily replaced by another sound…
That of a beating heart.
Of life, slowly prodding my chin up with unseen touch, familiar warmth sparking along every nerve in a blanketing understanding as sorrowed eyes flashed open to a world so different from the one I'd closed them to.
"W-what…" My soul reaches out, but the presence I'd earlier sought has faded, leaving the world rich in all that I'd missed with the drying of tears on my cheeks.
So there really is something there… Something here..
Wind picking up to ruffle the shingles of this natural cathedral, my gaze is pulled upward to the sight so many had spoken of, golden sunlight splashing off the wet leaves in a thousand spatters of green. Trunks of umber stretching high above, I find myself reaching high, as if to grasp the color and pull it away. Wrap it around myself, this new and mysterious feeling.
Is this how the world really is? So bright?
Heart fracturing at the thought of all my blindness though it is, something yet persists, nestling in the back of my mind, tugging with deep familiarity.
A doubt, that this could ever last.
So, this has been kind of a long-coming thing, as I've mentioned to some certain people :P
Though my skills are rather weak after nearly a year without any proper creative writing, I hope to share this tale, raw and painful enough as it is for me.
Out of it all, I sincerely hope this story maybe serves to touch you in some way, whether it be in the first chapter, or the last.
Either way, I'm putting this out here,