Cherry blossoms? Sailor uniforms? A girl running with toast in her mouth? Yep, this is gonna be a great high school year! The cherry blossoms are not a surprise, though, that is why the school has been Christened as Sakuragi High School. When I walked in, I saw two girls towards me. At first, I thought they were going up to me especially since they looked like second or third-year students. I was so excited since I could finally get some good looking girls. But no, they instead went towards some boy who I thought just by looking at his face looked like a reject from a Yaoi manga. He also looks like an albino with white hair and purple eyes.
"Hey Keiichi," One girl said, "Did you have a good break?"
"Yeah it was great," He said, "I went to the Bahamas with my sister Moeko."
"OMG, I am so jealous," The other girl said
She then spent the next two or three minutes rambling about her spring vacation ,but all I could think about is why they prefer guys like that. In most of the anime I watch, an unlucky Average Joe gets hounded by beautiful girls whether he likes it or not. But the guys marketed towards the Otome market such as reverse Harem look like the gayest men in the universe to the point where they look like traps that don't crossdress. My only theory is to why is that all women are probably secretly lesbians if they keep going after men that resemble them rather than nice guys like me. I then realized that I have to show them what a real man is like.
"Ladies!" I said to get attention from the girls (which I did) "I am Takuhiko Koizumi! Unlike this craphead I actually like girls and I probably have a bigger manhood anyway! Now who wants to be my girlfriend?!"
I didn't forget to do the dramatic point. But in that moment I realized a major problem. I am so short I can legitimately be mistaken for a middle school student. It doesn't really help that the boy's uniform is a black Gakuran, although at least it matches the pink sailor fuku. I'm not one of those stupid Shotas or anything ,and I still probably tower someone like Shana or Taiga Aisaka ,but it's diminishing my chances! So when the girls and that Keiichi guy saw me, I just looked like a very short first-year student pointing at them. Not helped by the awkward silence.
"I gotta get to class." said one of the girls
"Yeah I need to learn how geometry is supposedly needed in my life even though I won't actually use it." said the other
Then they just walked, no, ran away. But silver lining at least they probably won't be with him either.
"You're new here, aren't you?" he said
"Yeah, I'm a freshman so what?" I said
"Nothing, I was just….what was that?"
"I wanted to show them what a real man looks like to take them off your hands."
"Yeah, a real man. With pink hair, a rather short height, and large green eyes that just inspire cuteness."
"I'm sexy! Not cute! But not too sexy, then I'd look gay like you."
"Wait do you have a problem with gay people? What's with that comparison?"
"Only that they somehow steal all my potential girlfriends. Yet again there is my 'all women are secretly lesbians' theory. Which makes 3D women a hundred percent better anyway."
"You mean bisexual, right?"
"What's a bisexual?"
"I gotta get to class also. How about we talk during lunch on the rooftop?"
"Are you sure because a lot of crap happens on the rooftop?"
"You're also an otaku, right?"
"Again, so what? Although my mom is trying to get me to interact with real girls despite being a mangaka"
Oh crap that! I honestly need to write my journal entries in order next time. This whole thing started about a week before, I was in my room littered with merch from stuff like Lucky Star, Umaru-chan, and tons of others; playing one of the newest dating sims I could get my hands on. While I mostly like 2D girls due to them never betraying you and just looking hotter anyway, it was one of the few 3D women I love: MY*UTA ,the star is silent and screaming the name is optional. With her purple Hime cut, cute fashion sense, and magnificently huge boobs it got me to realize that 3D girls can be beautiful too. My one goal in life is to marry her before she turns into an old spinster after age twenty-five. However one night I heard loud knocking on my bedroom door.
"Takuhiko, open up!" My mom yelled. But it was muffled so I barely noticed it. I only paid attention to the sweet nothings that MY-chan had to say now that we're at the game's climax. Even if it was just a voice actress that didn't sound like her.
"Wow! You really are my number one fan!" She said, "It must have taken a lot of appreciation to sneak backstage without a pass."
It honestly did take forever to persuade security, so that was worth it.
"Is there something special you wanted to say to me?"
The options on screen were:
"I Love You!"
"Will You Marry Me?!"
And "I Want To Make Love To You!"
Obviously, I had to pick the last option seeing how the only boobs I've seen were of the side characters even if my lifetime goal is on there. But before I could make that choice, the screen turned off. I turned my swirly chair around to see my mom with the computer's chord in her hand with a stern look.
"I tried to be the cool mom, but this has gone too far." She said with a peeved tone in her voice.
"You could've at least let me save my progress!"
"You haven't done anything ,but sit in your room for the past week and it's the same for every weekend! You almost failed your entrance exams because of it!"
"Well, who cares about exams anyway? You're in some of the best manga magazines in Japan and that's not thanks to exams."
"I still needed to graduate and get good grades in order to get into Digital Hollywood. My parents even reluctantly took me to a manga cram school."
"Keyword: reluctantly. They always talk about the economy sucks,how the war sucked, and why it sucks that the population is declining."
"I admit I am also worried about that last one. Even if I disagree that otaku culture is the only part of it. But even then it's still a part of the problem."
"You can't seriously pressure me into marriage! I only graduate from junior high recently!"
"No, it's not that. The main thing is, again, your grades. They're slipping worse than ever now. You're just lucky you got into Sakuragi."
"Please tell me you're not turning into one of those moms that think only education matters.
"Of course not! You also need to learn to not shelter yourself in your room all the time and actually open up to people."
"I do open up to people! I'm good friends with this girl named Namazu and despite not being my girlfriend like she wants to be ,on account of just looking okay, she is still my best friend! I still don't know why she wants to see a picture of Chinko though."
"I meant OFF the computer."
"Either way, how are you going to stop me from being the virtual lady killer!"
Then she grounded me from my computer and took it along with my gaming and anime collection. Not my manga collection surprisingly. So I have to make "real friends" now.
After that explanation to what's his face, I went to my homeroom in Class 1-5 and was pleasantly surprised by the girls there. They honestly did look like 3D anime characters and not in the CGI sense. There was a cute flat chested blue girl with glasses, a Tsundere Loli with green drills, even the teacher despite being a Christmas Cake looked decent enough. Maybe this won't be such a bad year after all.