"Fuck. My Life."

"Eh, sorry. I make a point to not stick my neither regions in foreign places."

"So, I take it you've never known the complex pleasures of fucking a blender?"

A chuckle that sounds like it's followed by a smirk echoes around my room.

Oh, my God. Peter Pan likes me.

Aw, fuck. Peter Pan likes me.

Aw, fuckity-fuckity-fuck- fuck. There's a teenage boy sitting on my window sill smirking at me.

I hope it's Peter Pan.