Once upon a time in the soggy land of Alligatoral, Boudreaux owned a very unique alligator of auspicious size, that ate nothing but Creole chicken. And gumbo. That alligator loooved gumbo. The only thing he loved as much as gumbo, was sunning in the shallow water, pretending to be a log and scaring unwary passersby. Boudreaux tried to tell him it was very rude to scare unwary passersby, but he didn't care; it remained one of his favorite activities. Sometimes, he even managed to steal a bit of Creole chicken or gumbo from the picnickers when they ran away.

Boudreaux sighed and wondered what he was going to do about his alligator. He loved him dearly, but people were starting to talk, and miss their Creole chicken and gumbo. And the alligator was entirely unrepentant. Boudreaux tried to get his alligator hooked on hushpuppies instead, since he knew a man with a restaurant who always had extra hushpuppies. All to no avail - that alligator loooved his gumbo and his chicken, and he wasn't swapping that taste out for anything.

Boudreaux wracked his brain on a daily basis, especially when he heard the screams of passersby losing their picnic baskets of chicken and gumbo. But his alligator remained as stubborn as an old root. So Boudreaux went to his neighbors and begged them to fill their picnic baskets with tofu instead, hoping to discourage his beloved alligator. The neighbors were weirded out, but willing to accommodate such a nice fellow as Boudreaux. So they filled their picnic baskets with tofu.

Boudreaux chewed his fingernails down to the quick waiting for the trial run of tofu picnics. He hoped his alligator would learn its lesson about not troubling passersby. His plan succeeded in one point, at least - his alligator did not like tofu. Boudreaux had a bad feeling about his efforts to cure his alligator. But all the tofu just made the alligator very, very cranky. He decided to start sampling canoes. Bourdreaux was horrified. Canoes were not alligator food. Unfortunately, the alligator had never gotten the memo.

Boudreaux took his alligator for a long walk, pointing out many canoes and explaining how they were not good for his alligator's stomach. He hoped the alligator got the gist. All the alligator got was hungry. And bored. But he loved Boudreaux, so he attempted to be good. Boudreaux noticed how bored his alligator was and built a swing for the alligator in the backyard, hoping it would help. He also brought fish in buckets, hoping the alligator would like them. The alligator loved the swing, but turned up his very long nose at the fish, confounded by the slimy, slippery, stinky things. Boudreaux was very happy the alligator loved the swing, but he knew he had to find an alternative food source soon. He gave the alligator his own Creole Chicken while he searched.

And then one day... the alligator discovered cheese biscuits. He thought he'd died and gone to alligator Heaven. Boudreaux was very tentatively hopeful when he found his alligator snacking on cheese biscuits, though he wondered where the alligator had gotten its paws on them. The alligator wasn't telling, but some visitors from Kentucky were very vociferous the next day to their hotel manager about losing their prize picnic basket to a ravenous gator.

Boudreaux went up to his friend's restaurant and spoke with him about making an extra batch of cheese biscuits for his alligator each day. The friend was perfectly happy to oblige, in order to keep his gumbo and chicken. Boudreaux was so hopefully happy. Things were starting to look up. For now, at least. Boudreaux didn't understand the cold sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. It was almost as if he had a bad feeling about all this. But so far, everything seemed okay. Boudreaux shook the feeling away and went back to his usual schedule, and the gator happily munched his biscuits.

Boudreaux loved it when his alligator was happy (and not bothering passersby). And the alligator loved his biscuits and his swing. All the neighbors became much happier as a result, too. So everyone was happy. For now. Except the fish, who were rather offended. But no one cared about them. And then the fish developed a rather severe complex. But no one knew, yet. The fish were upset, because no one had bothered to put them back in the lake from the buckets, and they were getting tired of swimming in circles. And the water was getting a little stuffy. And a bit moldy, the poor fish.

One day, the alligator found the fish again, and found himself quite flummoxed. The fish begged the alligator to take them back to the lake. The alligator, always willing to help a friend, carried them down to the river, dumping them in. The fish swam merrily about, overjoyed to be freed of the buckets at last. The gator was more than happy to swim with his new friends, and offered them cheese biscuit. The fish all agreed that cheese biscuits were very tasty and thanked the alligator. The alligator was quite happy with his new friends, and his old favorite hobby of scaring picnickers no longer seemed quite so appealing. Boudreaux was very pleased when he learned his alligator had made new friends and no longer seemed to be scaring picnickers.

All was well in Alligatoral. It was a lovely land for everyone, except the cheese biscuits. And to be brutally honest, no one cared about them. Except that they were very, very tasty. So no one cared about their feelings. The alligator had started a craze, in fact. And cheese biscuits became wildly popular, contrarily to the fish. After the fish thought about it, they decided it was definitely for the best. And so everyone was happy.

The end.


A/N: This was just a silly little joke written by a dear friend, (you can find her on Fanfiction. net as DarthRuinous - if you like Star Wars at all, I thoroughly recommend her stories, she's brilliant!) and myself over the course of a couple of days on one of our roleplaying threads. It actually turned into a halfway cohesive story, so I had to come post it. =)