Gucci Loafers in the Sand

by Donald J. Trump

One night, I had a dream.

I dreamt I was walking along a very beautiful beach with the Lord. As we walked, scenes from my wonderful life flashed across the sky. I couldn't help but notice that for each scene there were two sets of footprints in the sand.

One belonging to me and the other to God.

When the last scene flashed before my eyes, I looked back at the footprints. That's when I saw that many times along the path of my life there was only one set of footprints. I also noticed that this happened at the lowest and saddest times of my life, like when I found out that it was wrong to date my daughter.

This really bothered me, so I decided to ask Him about it.

"God," I told Him, "I've had a pretty terrific life, but I've got to tell You, You've disappointed me. Rosie O'Donnell I can understand, but not You. You promised me that if I accepted You into my life, You would always walk by my side, but it seems to me that You haven't lived up to Your end of the deal. Even You can see that during the hardest times in my life there is only one set of footprints. Why would You, when I needed You most, leave me?"

And God replied, "Because, Donald... you're such a smuck!"