9:42 And Jesus did come upon a man named Donald, from the house of Trump, who beseeched him, "Lord, my penis hasn't worked since—well—EVER! Is there nothing thou can do-eth?"

"Let me see that pathetic little tube of sagging flesh," the Lord spake, and Donald did fiddle with his fly.

HIS fly, not the Lord's.

"Let me find it first," Donald said. "Ah, HERE it is!"

"That's a pimple," the Lord pointed out-eth. "Thy penis is hidden behind it like a frightened turtle."

"Canst thou do anything about it?"

Jesus shook His head sadly.

"Verily, there are some things even the Son of Man cannot do."

Thus spake the Lord.

9:43 When Donald did leave, Jesus and His apostles looked at each other...


"Did you SEE that skin tag he called his penis?" said John. "It was as stiff as that rope Judas is carrying."

"Think he can get it up?" asked Peter.

"I doubt it," said Thomas.