I'm back. A day later than planned. I blame an awesome Star Wars day party a friend threw. I was Darth Vader. Along with like 10 other people. Awkward.
Anyway, here's the epilogue. It's been a fun ride, y'all. I'll miss it. I'm working on another story, though, and if you like me and my ideas, now is the time to start following this story (and perhaps comment :p) or me because I'll update once more to tell you all when I've published the next project.
~Providential
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Two, two, three, four, Gabriel, arms, seven eight. Alright, everyone, have a brief warm-down before wrapping up." Stefano clasped his hands together and we all clapped, more than a little relieved that rehearsal was finished. After all, it wasn't everyday that you finished the last rehearsal for the season. Well, it happened three times a year, but the last rehearsal of Spring was always a relaxing (read: stressful) day.
"Congratulations on a flawless season." Amit complimented me as he pulled on a t-shirt.
"You too." I returned as I pulled on a pair of pants, sitting down to lace up my sneakers. "I think we could be seeing you as a principal come fall."
His eyebrows raised at that. "Mm, no thank you. I prefer being soloist."
"Do you?" I asked, surprised at his statement. Amit had never been a particularly showy man but dramatic he was, so I would've thought he'd love the flair that came with being a principal.
"Yeah. I smoke way too much for a principal."
I sighed and picked up my bag, slowly making our way toward the exit. "Sounds like a party."
"Did I hear party?" Clarissa popped up from behind us, looking pleased. "A celebration of the last rehearsal, maybe?"
"Girl, how are you not perpetually drunk?" Amit asked her. "All I ever hear from you is 'part this, party that.' Do you not have a limit?"
"Sure I do." She argued. "I don't party Tuesday through Thursday."
"That's because you've finally for a soloist part in Cast B so you don't want to be wasted doing those pirouettes."
"Fair." She sniffed as we got outside. We stopped at the curb, knowing we were going different ways. "How about happy hour?"
"And drinks?" Amit snorted. "No thank you. I have a hot date coming to the closing party tonight and will not let you get me drunk and say something stupid to him. Do you know how long it's taken me to get this date?"
"Fine, I wasn't asking you anyway." Clarissa turned her attention to me. "Well? How about it?"
"Sorry. I've got a date too." I shrugged, neglecting that it was also my last principal show of the season and I wasn't about to screw it up by being tipsy.
She pouted. "You guys are a bunch of losers." She grumbled. "Then I guess I'll have to spend tonight in. God, what am I going to do?"
"Binge watch some awful cooking show?" Amit suggested.
"Accidentally eat a whole tub of ice cream?" I supplemented and Clarissa gawked at us.
"Oh my god, that was one time!" She stamped her foot. "Screw you guys, I'm going home." She took off down the sidewalk, sparing us a quick wave over her shoulder.
"Okay then." Amit spoke and we crossed the street to get to the subway station. "Is Loren coming to the party tonight? Planning to rub it into the McNabb daughter's face that he's got his own piece of dancer ass?"
"Ha ha. For your information, he's fully over any of Rebecca's petty nonsense. And no, he won't be coming. He's got Spring training."
"How very cute of him. Is he going to miss all of your closing shows? Who knows how many there'll be?"
"Ouch." I put a hand to my chest. "Excuse me, there will be many more to come. You've gotten brutal in your old age."
"Just being realistic. There's a lot of turnover in our career." He continued, and I saw my train pull up.
"Well same to you, buddy." I jested. "I'll see you tonight." I hopped on the subway and rode home, tossing my bag onto the ground by the door. As I showered, I stared at the sink, smiling happily to myself. It had been nearly five months since I officially confessed my love for Loren, and nearly four since he started spending the night at my place more often than his own, and the red toothbrush propped next to my blue one in the mug on the sink was a solid reminder that I wasn't imagining all of this.
I dried off and did my makeup and hair, sliding into a thin, camisole dress. It had finally gotten hot, and even though the buildings cast long shadows, the sheer number of people kept the city muggy and warm. I tied my hair back and pulled on a pair of little white sneakers and the necklace Kelly had gotten me so long ago, grabbing a pair of sunglasses on my way out the door. I walked down the street instead of getting on the subway, a skip in my step. I hadn't lied to Clarissa when I said I'd had a date, but I'd left out a piece of information to avoid her questioning. The date wasn't with Loren. No, Loren was in Buffalo for training until tomorrow, so instead of heading to his place to meet him, I stopped in front of a plain brick building in Manhattan West, watching the rush of children as they flew down the stairs.
I received more than a few glances and whispers as I waited at the base, searching the masses for a familiar face. When I finally saw the familiar grin of Kelly, I waved, and she cheerfully waved back, abandoning her friends to come meet me, her friends staring, open mouthed, at the situation.
"Hi." I greeted, removing my sunglasses. "How have you been?"
"Great!" She replied, nodding vigorously. "Just great. Busy with lessons and math class, but great! How are you?"
"Good." I responded with less intensity. "Ready for the last show of Coppélia tonight, but that's just nerves speaking. Are you sure you want to eat before the show tonight? It's so early for you, isn't it?" I asked as we walked away from the company school, knowing that while our plans had been to have a (very) early dinner before I went off to the theatre, she had likely eaten lunch only a couple of hours ago and probably wouldn't be hungry for a while.
"Yeah, that's great with me." She agreed. "Whatever's good for you. Hey, thanks for your tickets for tonight." She spoke. "My mom's thrilled to be able to come back out so it should be a fun night to see a show with her instead of performing while she watches."
"I'm happy to give them to you." I explained. "Besides, you're probably the talk of the school right now, right? Getting to go to a show on the principal's tickets, eh?" I nudged her and she tried to conceal a smirk but I saw it.
"Well, maybe. And I mean, your picking me up is totally going to cause a stir for class next week so thank you."
I would've felt bad but I knew she liked the attention so I went with it, happy to boost the ego of my young friend.
We ate at a deli and on Kelly's demand, I splurged and split a peanut butter cookie with her, and god damn if it wasn't the best cookie I'd ever eaten.
"So how's your boyfriend? Dylan?" I asked, taking a long drink of diet coke to wash away the amazing peanut butter flavor so I wouldn't want another bite.
Kelly nodded. "Yes, Dylan, but we're just friends now."
"Oh I'm sorry, Kelly." I apologized, knowing how much she'd like the boy.
"Don't be!" She waved her hand. "We're better off as friends anyway. Then I can tell him that I think his friends are cute without him flipping out." We shared a laugh. "How about you? You're dating someone, right?"
"That I am. Loren. He's great, really. And I don't think his friends are cute."
"Are they, though?" Kelly asked, an immature glint in her eyes.
"Oh they're totally cute. Not like I'd ever tell him that." I confirmed and she giggled excitedly. "So do you want me to walk you back to your place?" I asked as we stood up to throw out our trash.
"That's okay." Kelly responded. "It's close by and my mom should be there waiting for me, so I don't want you to get caught up in a conversation when you have to go."
"Well if you two come to the closing party, I'll see you there." I suggested as we walked outside. "If not, text me anytime, yeah? We should catch up every so often, if you're not too busy."
"Okay." She bobbed her head. "I'll see you tonight! Merde."
We waved goodbye and I headed straight to the the theatre, beginning the rituals for the evening a little early. An hour before showtime, my phone rang, so I put it on speakerphone and left it on my dresser while I stretched.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Eleanor." My dad responded. "We're all here and wanted to wish you good luck tonight." There was a faint hello from my mother and an angry retort about wishing a ballerina luck from Annabel in the background.
"Thanks." I responded. "I'm getting ready now."
"Good, good." My dad answered, trying to act like the involved parent that he'd never been naturally.
"What's your costume look like?" My mom asked and I grimaced. While we weren't on good terms yet, my father had started forcing her onto phone calls in hopes that we would at least be civil with each other. We were, for the most part, but more often than not, the questions were about my costumes and shows.
"It's very 19th century Italy." I explained. "White puffy sleeves, green corset, roses on my apron. All the good stuff."
"Hmm." My mother responded. "Sounds uncomfortable."
"Maybe so, but it looks good on stage so that's that."
"Plus, it sounds like way too cute." Annabel backed me up. "So chic of you, Eleanor."
"So is your boyfriend there?" My mom asked and I sighed, rolling my shoulders down while I stretched. Telling my parents about Loren had been quite the mistake, and was only done accidentally. They'd heard him one night when they called me and wouldn't stop haranguing me about the boy in my apartment until I admitted I was seeing someone. That brought on a lot of questions. I tried not to bring him up too often.
"Oh my god, mother, you can't just ask her that." Annabel argued and I smiled gently. After the debacle of Christmas, Annabel had started defending me against our mom's petty judgment toward me. It felt nice.
"No, he's working," was my answer. That earned another judgmental noise from my mother and a response from Annabel, and their call was finally disrupting my routine. "Listen, I've got to go get ready but I'll talk to you guys soon."
"Alright. Have a good night, Eleanor."
"Bye." They all responded and I hung up, focusing my breathing as I switched positions to keep stretching. By the time I was needed backstage, I was finally in a good head space again and I made my way to the wing, final show jitters kicking in.
I had been happy to see Alexei was my partner again this show, and his professionalism put me at ease, the performance running without a hitch. When we went out for final curtain call, I nearly hugged him then and there. I was pretty certain part of the reason I'd made it all three seasons as a principal was because his strong hands kept me from feeling like I was going to fall. Certainly I couldn't have done it with someone who could've dropped me.
After the show, a bunch of us piled into a taxi and drove to the party, a post-season high floating about the space. We celebrated with shots, and when Clarissa tried to hand me a second, Alexei gladly took it off my hands, downing several more in a row, though no one expected him to. Damn Russians.
I mingled with press, donors, and dancers, and when I saw Rebecca chatting up a group of young men, I shook my head, smiling at the familiar behavior. She caught me staring and if I didn't know any better, actually looked kind of embarrassed for being caught acting so desperate. I lifted my club soda to her and from a distance, I could see her roll her eyes a little bit, though the gesture faded quickly as she laughed melodically at something one of her suitors said.
While the night was exciting - and actually semi-enjoyable - I grew tired from the high adrenaline of the day, and bailed after greeting Kelly's mom, wishing the two a fun night. I splurged and took a cab home, my limbs growing heavy as I walked up the flights of stairs to get to my apartment. I opened the door and stepped in, locking it behind me with a weary groan.
"Don't you look all fancy."
I jumped at the voice and turned, letting my head fall against the door when I saw it was just Loren walking out of the bathroom.
"Jesus, you scared me. Wait, what're you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Buffalo?"
"I was." He smiled sheepishly. "But then I wanted to come home, so I took a flight after the charity game."
"Well I'm glad you did." I set my bag down on the island. "I missed you too." I put my arms out and he wrapped his own around my middle, burying his face in my shoulder. I stuck my nose to his neck and inhaled deeply, sighing pleasantly.
"So how was the game?" I asked quietly, not quite ready to let go.
"Went into overtime." He spoke, and I relished the rumble of his chest against mine. "It took a good fifteen minutes for Kowalczyk to finally sink a shot."
"That's good." I commented, familiar enough with the name to know Kowalczyk played with Loren. "Congratulations. Now help me get out of this horrid dress." I turned quickly, exposing the long zipper of the dress to Loren, who laughed.
"Now come on, this is a perfectly nice dress."
"Maybe so, but it's itchy as hell. Polyester and I don't mix."
"At least let me get a good look at you first." He argued, turning me back around. "It's not everyday I get to see my girlfriend all dolled up."
"Well if you like this, you'll love what's underneath it." I flirted, a small grin coming to Loren's face.
"Oh? And what's underneath it?"
"Absolutely nothing." I whispered, sauntering past him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go change."
"Bullshit you're going to go change." He caught me around the middle and I smiled, letting him unzip the dress before it fell to the floor.
As we lay in bed contentedly, Loren toying with a lock of my hair, I stared at him unabashedly. Nothing had changed for me since that first night. If it was possible, I was even more in love now than I was then. Sure, we had our occasional spats, but nothing ever felt that important when it came down to it. He was as close to perfect as a man who couldn't fully commit would be, and if all I had to miss out on was being with someone who said the words associated with the feelings they conveyed, I was happy to make the sacrifice for Loren. He was worth it.
When he caught my gaze, he smiled, dropping my hair. "You're beautiful, you know." He spoke the words that I imagined were his way of sharing his feelings, since he so often said them during intimate moments.
"I've heard that before." I acknowledged, turning to face him so we were nearly nose to nose. "I love you."
He closed the distance with a soft kiss. "I love you, too." He breathed and if I hadn't been paying attention, I would've wondered if I heard him correctly. I leaned back to get a good look at his face.
"You do?" I asked incredulously, my heart fluttering. God, had I really wanted to hear those words so much?
"Yeah." He nodded. "I was sitting in the locker room before the game, and one of the guys was talking about his girlfriend and how in love he was, and when I thought about how stupid he sounded, I started thinking about you. How you look when you wake up. How you argue with stove when you think I can't hear you. How you get on me for not folding my clothes well enough. How you smile at me every single day without fail.
"And then I realized how dumb I sounded, but I knew every word of it was true, and how I loved all of it. And I knew how stupid I had been for not willing to recognize that those things I loved about you made me love you."
I bit my lip and wiped my eyes to keep any lodged tears from falling. "That's possibly the most romantic thing you've ever said to me." I answered and he shrugged nonchalantly, but I recognized that look in his eyes now. There was no hesitation or doubt. He loved me.
"Oh you stupid boy, come here!" I launched myself at him and squeezed him tightly around the neck.
"Len, air," came Loren's muffled voice and I leaned back enough for him to breathe, refusing to let go.
"I love you too. Even if you are the world's shittiest clothes folder."
He laughed and his eyes crinkled at the corners, and I knew now more than ever that this was where I wanted to be: lying in bed after a long day's work, with the man I loved who loved me back. It was a perfect, magnificent moment.
I fell asleep in Loren's arms, neither of us letting go despite the heat of the day still lingering into the night, and I dreamt of how ecstatic I was to finally have something so good and pure in my life.
And no amount of cheating ex-girlfriends or mommy issues could ever change that.