As she woke, her body felt tight and achy with sleep. She stretched out her arms, letting out a small yawn as she did so. She was definitely not a morning person. Sitting up in the bed, she grabbed for her glasses and put them on, watching the bedroom come into focus. The world in focus was little improvement on the world out of focus. Her boy still ached and she still found herself unable to stop the yawning.
Looking over at her clock, she knew she had had around nine hours of sleep. That was more than the average person needed. They said the average person needed between 6 and 8 hours sleep a night. She knew she didn't come into the category of 'average' though. She was one of the anomalies that made average what it was: average.
She had to get up, she knew, so she flung the duvet off her and placed her feet on the ground. Pushing herself to standing was an effort this morning. Her body felt unsteady on her feet, and she had put a hand against the nearby wall to keep herself upright. She closed her eyes for a moment, praying the initial dizziness would pass quickly. Opening her eyes, she forced herself to take steps forward. If nothing else, she needed to brush her teeth. Her legs practically screamed with every step she took. They wanted her to stop, they wanted her to get back into her bed, the ache ran from the top of her thighs to the bottom of her calves and it was too much.
Reaching the bathroom, she sat on the toilet seat and stretched out her legs. Perhaps if it was only her legs she would be able to swallow some painkillers and get on with the day but there was more there was so much more. The tiredness that clung to her, fogged up her brain and made it hard for her to focus on anything for more than a couple of minutes, that was strong today. She was dozing off here on the toilet seat and found herself jolting awake again. Every muscle, every joint seemed to achy. Her entire body felt heavy.
Bed. Back to bed was the best idea. She was tired, so tired she couldn't focus on anything else. At least if she could sleep then she wouldn't have to think about the pain. The pain that she couldn't ignore when he was awake. It took a while, but she got herself back to her feet and through to the bedroom again. Every step was like walking on glass, cut into her. Glass was not only on the floor but all around her, she was walking through a room of glass shards, attacking every part of her that they could get to. With the stabbing, the aching, the general pain she felt it was a miracle she didn't bleed, but there was nothing wrong with her, not on the surface, all of this came from within, all of this was because her body was broken and she didn't know how to fix it.
Sleep. Sleep was a temporary help that forced the day to go by quicker. Sleep meant that 7am turned into midday and midday turned into 4pm. Meals were skipped that day not because she wasn't hungry but because the idea of getting up to prepare something was too much to bare. It wasn't until she woke for the final time at 8pm that she was too hungry to not eat. She got up again then, grateful that her legs seemed more willing to work now.
Through to the kitchen, she struggled with the flashing the light insisted on doing before turning on properly. It cut through her head but at least it was over quickly. She pulled a microwave meal out of the freezer - perhaps there were unhealthy and no doubt home cooked food was better, but she was in no position to be able to make any - and stuck it in the microwave.
Leaning against the worktop, she sipped from a small carton of orange juice. She always kept the small cartons in so she didn't have to pour from the big ones. Sometimes that was fine but there were the days - like today - when that was too much. Orange juice was her favourite and the carton was gone within seconds. She went back to watching the microwave and as it reached the end, she prepared herself.
She pulled the microwave door open at the one second mark. She could not stand the sound the beeping made. The "I'm finished" bell rang like an alarm through her and she couldn't cope with that on her good days, on a day like today, it would be far too much. Grateful for the silence, she pulled her food from the microwave and sat herself at the table with it.
By the time she had finished eating she was boiling hot throughout her entire body. She felt like someone with the heating on in the middle of summer. Either that or she was the heating because she was radiating this uncomfortable hotness. It surrounded her and it was too much. She opened the freezer, but it didn't help much, it just provided a fake coolness in a specific area. She closed it again and let herself drop to the kitchen floor.
The floor was cool and at least the coolness of that - while not as cold as the freezer - could reach most her body. With her arms and legs outstretched she no doubt looked like she was trying to make a snow angel out of her kitchen floor, but no matter. At long as she could get cool from it she didn't care what she looked like.
Whether it was a minute or 30 that she lay there, she didn't know. But she cooled. She cooled slowly and then too much. Shivering she got herself to her feet and went through to the living room where she collapsed onto the sofa and pulled a blanket over her, while flicking the TV on.
Part of her wished for the day to be over, but she knew tomorrow was unlikely to be much different so it was a meaningless wish. She flicked on to Netflix and clicked play on her favourite shop, remaining curled up on the sofa with it for the rest of the evening.