I let you go, and it took years to actually do so. Every time we've fought or told each other to go away it would never be more than 12 hours before we were kissing and apologizing begging each other to never let go. You told me to give you space lat night, you were in abad head space and wanted to be left alone. You reached out in the morning and apologized, our normal routine and yet it wasn't. I asked if you meant it, if that's what you wanted and you said "yea, that's what I want." You've never meant it before. It's something new to me and I'm not quite sure how to process it so I deleted you. You know how to reach me if you want to but I know that if I have you in my reach it's going to be so much harder to let you go, tog I've you your space and I'm hoping you'll come back but another part of me is secretly relieved that you're the one who ended things, that whatever comes next to you won't eat me alive because I think it's my fault for abandoning you. Maybe our story has finally come to an end as open-ended as it may be there's at least some sort of finality. I am upset, i've relied on you for so long, you were always just a simple message away. We were too close, always there for each other and sometimes the littlest of things set us off, there was no space to get clarity from the situation. A vicious cycle of love and hate and need. I hate you, don't leave me. I need you, why aren't you here. It was hard to love separate lives but in all honesty that's what we were doing. We were each others escape from reality, when our lives were upside down we'd turn to each other to get lost if only for a couple hours. To hide from our reality, to be at peace and have control over what was going on. I saw the good in you when all you saw was the darkness.