Sometimes, I can't help but think that people may just be inherently bad. Looking at this world we live in, it's impossible not too. I see hatred in everyone's eyes, and a grimace twisting at everyone's mouth. Harsh lines mar our faces, and anger balls our fists. The world is in tangles, fighting breaking out at the drop of a hat. Riots are everywhere. Cruel words slip off of our tongues into each other's ears for no reason other than that we can.
We know the harm we do, yet we do it anyways. We see the pain in others eyes as we speak yet we keep going. We let the bullets fly from our tongues and kill the ones we love. Then, we open our eyes and see the damage we wrought. For that second, that one brief second, we are sorry. We apologize and pretend to move on, pushing down our hurt and anger until it festers and festers and we explode again and again and again.
I think our world is inherently bad because we can't seem to learn from our mistakes, can't seem to stop ourselves when we fill like balloons with hurt, and injustice, and anger, and fear. We take each other for granted, and rip each other's hearts out, and don't care. We are selfish and angry and crying and in pain. Yet we don't comfort one another.
We take our anger out on each other because causing others pain is the only way to alleviate our own. We as a people watch the world burn and don't care who gets hurt as long as we get on top, isn't that right? Because if we win, it doesn't matter who loses.
I feel lost and scared I know that. I'm yelling at those I love and snapping at them. I push them away and cry when they allow it. I'm questioning everything and wondering why world, why. Why did everything end up this way, why did hatred win, and why why why doesn't anyone else I know care?
Why has everyone else who was so angry care anymore? Why has everyone moved on, but me? Why do we respond to bigotry and hatred by ignoring it. I don't want to ignore our world, but it seems the only way to stay sane. The only way to keep my head in a world that's lost their own,
I try to look for goodness now, to stop myself from falling. I watch a kind woman hold a mother's baby for her while she looks for a coupon. A biker changing my elderly neighbors tire. The nine year old girl who lives near my school that takes the dogs of her neighbors on walks everyday.
But sometimes these things are overshadowed by the bad. The hatred I hear in people's voices when they speak of minorities. The glares I see people giving my family and I as we walk down the street. The mutters I hear everytime I speak of my personal beliefs, whether political or religious.
Everyone in my world has buried their heads in the sand. They have blocked out this new world were in but I refuse to ignore their stares, their glares, their whispers. Let them look, let them talk. What they have yet to see, with their stone cold eyes, is that I talk back. I'll yell back. I'll make them see me, see what I stand for. I'm tired of the world's hatred, discrimination, and sexism.
I want everyone to see me, and I know in my heart others must feel that too. I want the world to see past my big eyes and breasts, and see that I am strong. That I am ready to fight and take back what everyone is trying to take from me. And I know in my heart other people must feel that way too. That gives me hope. That makes me think that maybe, maybe we are inherently bad. Maybe people aren't evil. Maybe our generation can take back what the world is telling us we can't have, Hope.