Clatter

My thoughts run around inside of my head.

I'm stuck here deep inside of myself.

I always have to bite my lip until it bleeds.

So many words want to flow out of me.

There is this clatter that goes on deep inside of me.

The noise is so loud.

I wonder if I'll eventually go deaf.

The world goes on around me.

I see you there beside me.

Why can't I hear your voice over this clatter?

Please, don't try to dive deeply into my head.

Just forget all about it.

I don't want to take you down along with me.

If I go down all the way, I want to be alone.

I don't want you to turn into ashes as well.

Your lips move, but I can't hear a sound you make.

You reach out your hand to me.

I close my eyes and shake my head.

I don't want your precious hand.

The clatter is hidden deep inside of me.

I don't know if I should care.

Why can't I make the decision?

These thoughts keep on crowding me.

I want to escape.

I want to run far away.

Where I go, you can't follow.

Is this mess my creation?

I somehow think it is.

This is all my fault somehow.

You're right there beside me.

My vision blurs to an ugly wash of colors.

I can no longer see you through this haze.

Is this all just a game?

I don't even know that much.

My breathing gets faster.

I don't even know if my heart is still there.

Why can't I just decide?

I can't deny this emotion.

That much I do know.

Is this my reality?

I don't want it.

Can I change my reality?

I want to.

Please, can someone save me from this mess?

Please, save me from this mess in which I have made.