Suicidal thoughts and cups of coffee,
I colored our outlines in shades of
grey and blue, the red on your knuckles
painted the flowers resting upon our grave.
Who's to blame? The sad boy with tears
too heavy to fall, the angry boy with
not a minute to waste: the sky did not
smile upon you, not even on rainy days.
Tired of the same questions, what's
worth another moment that you take a piece
of soul away? It's just a smile, they're just
some kind words - you didn't even know.
There's a second, a moment, when everything
aligns: your breath, my mind, your skin,
the stars, and I think we're whole, we're
the earth spinning, there's nothing more.
Are you sad today? Do you still feel like a
ghost in your own house? Did you find that
song stuck on the tip of your tongue? Can you
talk without getting lost? I hope too much.
Keep in mind, I had never known anyone like
you, so bright I became blind, so full of longing,
but you can never wrap the sky around yourself,
the sun will always burn your wings before the fall.
How outrageous, the thought of loving, the thought of
having someone do the same for you. I don't remember
ever asking you to find the universe within me
(even if I unknowingly wanted you to), only for time.
Who's to blame? The boy who wanted more, tired
of being wrong, the boy with silent cries and
confused thoughts, they were both young and lost,
no one to teach them how it feels to be loved.
I know you're close, as someone said, I couldn't
help myself and I asked: how long? But I didn't wait,
time still haunts my body and I moved, cradling
my heart on trembling hands, sure of myself.
I know we were late, some tender and bruised part of
me still wonders who's to blame. I'd hold you to it,
watch you hang the stars around my window, but it's a
waste. I don't care - I see the universe in you, anyway.