Thoughts of a lone lover

Thought 1 Machine

Machine. That's accurate. The heart's gone but the body remains. I know it's not your fault, you would never ravage my bones like that. You're too pure. It will be journey to get there, but just wait till forever. It'll be spent in my arms and mine in yours. I and my love are defiant. Nothing will stop me till I'm able to call you mine.

The silence is what really kills me. The uncertainty. The only thing I'm sure of is that I love you. I know you do too…but I still can't help but be scared.

I feel hollow. Everything bothers me but at the same time nothing does. Today was freezing. The wind pierced me through, but it felt good to at least feel something. All my nights and days are melting into one another. I sleep when I can't bear to cry or hold my eyes anymore.

Before you start to worry, let me promise a couple of things. I promise to always love you. I will wait for you even if you don't want me too. I also promise to try and take care of myself. I'll eat when I'm able to, and I'll try not to shed any blood…mine or others. Those are promises to try though mind you, don't get mad if I slip. I need you here to keep the demons away.

I love you. That's all I can say. That's all I know. I love you.

Don't lose hope, my dear. The more fierce the battle, the more glorious the triumph. This machine won't quit. I swear.