Dear Journal,

Today is December 1st and for the last few weeks I've been going through hell. Everything that I thought was going well turned to the worse. I had a job and roommate/renter. I never knew how blind I could of really been for the past year and few months. It all hit me so hard all so sudden. I wasn't ready for it and didn't prepare.

I all started a few weeks ago. I was working for a discount store in a seasonal position. I was inform that after my seasonal I will remain there as a regular worker. That turned out to be a lie. ONE HUGE LIE! They gave my locker away and lied to me when I went there. I had to ask the floor manager and a fellow co-worker about everything. I worked my ass off for people who didn't know what they were doing and kept hiring people who wouldn't work. Most of the other employees were or getting high or drunk. I had no choice but to empty my locker out, take the lock and go home with my blood boiling.

Soon after dealing with that event I told my roommate and her mother what had happened. Her mother got pissed at me. She should be pissed at her daughter who doesn't work or do anything. All she does is sleep all day and stay up all night. Making it difficult for me to sleep at night. Thank goodness that my roommate's brother moved in. Made things a little more easier on me. The landlord offer to rent the house to door to him once the people leave it because they were evicted. The day after they left the landlord gave my roommate's brother the key to the house. He gave me the key to the house because he knew I needed something to do because I had no job. At the time he was going to college. (He is such a amazing person. The greatest person that I can claim as a brother.) In three hours I had cleaned the second floor and first floor of the house. The amount of trash that came out of the house was unbelievable. There had to be at least 20 bags of trash, two tvs, and five bins of toys.

He was really surprised when he got back from school. Instead of working on his homework or studying he started to work on the house. He mopped, scrubbed walls, cleaned the kitchen, and bathrooms. After that we had noticed it has been a day of work. He panicked because he realized it was late in the day and there was no dinner done. Top of that he still had to do his homework. His mother or sister did not help what so ever. They were wat too focused on their "boyfriend". (I don't consider them to be their boyfriends because they use them.) Afte a month of working on the house their mother was getting pissed at me. She kicked me and he took me in to live with him. I was able to offer him food ad that's all. It breaks my heart to know I cant be of no real help because no matter how many applications that I do. No one has called me for an interview.

At the end of the day I am greatful because I am now staying with someone who is understanding and is willing to help me.