The Divine Adam Carter
I felt immense comfort in Amanda's arms that night. Her voice was soft and low. "I didn't have a choice. You weren't talking to me and if I wrote you a note, I figured you were going to rip it up." Amanda felt warm and supple beneath me.
"I didn't even remember that he'd said those things. The part about shaking people up and making them grateful…?" I said.
"You were pretty fucking stoned." I knew we were both smiling in remembrance. "Adam loved you. He didn't kill himself because of you."
My heart began to pound. "No," I thought to myself. "This is escapism. I came here to run from pain. I came here because I want to forget. I don't wanna think about this. She has no idea. She doesn't realize what it did to him to lose me and what it did to me to lose him."
"Jesse, did you notice the handwriting on that letter?"
The thoughts that were beginning to spiral about me halted just then. Yes. Adam did have pretty handwriting. Handwriting that looked very similar to the writing on the letter Reicher had handed me that morning. But he hadn't written the letter, obviously. And I had taken it for granted that Amanda had nailed his handwriting. How?
"I wanna show you something." The click of the bedside lamp signaled the light. I closed my eyes for a moment and heard the drag of wood on wood as Amanda pulled out the lone drawer in her bedside table. Through squinty eyes, I could see she'd taken out a folded sheet of notebook paper. She opened it carefully and read it out loud.
You tell that little rugmuncher I miss the fuck out of her. Imma see how she feels when I get my own place down in NYC and she's all trying to be up my ass and I'm like, "No, bitch." But seriously, I am happy for y'all and I know you're good peeps, so I don't mind being cast aside, like dirty cabbage. Sob. Cue the strings, spot light center stage. All I ever wanted for my little baby dyke was for her to be happy. But seriously, I'm doing okay. It was really nice of you to invite me over and all but it is obvious she wants to have alone time with you and I can't say if I were shagging up with a stud of my own I wouldn't be just as, uhm, selfish. It really does mean the world to me that you reached out though. And don't worry. By Christmas she'll be bored of just fucking all the time and miss me and I'll come over with some eggnog we can spike and shit and I'll whoop both your asses at Kart. Drunk bitches can't drive for shit. I know she's still mad about the other day. I was pretty rough on her but then again, she did catch me at a bad time. I just miss her is all. She's my family, you know. Like a sister. Take care of her for me, until she comes back around.
The Divine Adam Carter