The third time it happened I was 26 and sober
Five years passed before I came face to face with the twins once again. I still remembered that magical night which had turned my life was a bittersweet memory, for it was the night was broken into a million little pieces, but this night had given me the greatest gift one could ask for, motherhood.
When I had first learned of my pregnancy, I could not believe it. At first I was in denial, refusing to leave my room for days at a time. Of course, aborption was out of the question, my christian background strictly forbid that. When I finally got the guts to call my mother, I hadn't expected her to be as supportive as she was. After all, her only daughter had commited one of the worst sins of all, having a child out of wedlock. She turned out to be my rock during these 9 horrible months. When I finally gave birth, and one little human being turned out to be two, I instantly fell in love with my little twins.
The hardest part of course was quitting my masters program, quitting my dreams to be a mother. Luckily enough, I already had a bachelor degree in international relations and for the first few years I was able to find a small government job. It wasn't all I had hoped for, but it paid the bills and my mother would babysit while I was at work. It was her, again, who pushed me to study for the government exam, which would lead me to becoming a foreign service officer.
For months, between bottle feedings and work I would be buried in books. I barely slept at all, and I don't think I would have been able to do it if it hadn't been for my love for my babies and what it would mean for all of us if I got these jobs. I passed the exam, and at 24, as a single mother, I became working a foreign service officer and I was affected to Peru. Adjusting was hard at first, with two toddlers and without my mother, as she had to stay back home. But pretty soon, I found my rythm, and I felt fulfilled as a mother and a professional. But still, something was missing in my life. I refused to date, too scared to have my heart broken again, and even if I wanted to, with two toddlers at home, it was simply impossible.
In two years, I was affected to four different countries. One day, I received a promotion, I would be the direct assistant of my country's ambassador in Austria. I was estatic, as it was my biggest promotion as of yet, and I was pretty young for such an honor. I was also excited because I had never been to Europe, most of my affectations having been in third world countries, which I loved, but I was longing for new experiences.
I would never have thought in a million years that the ambassador I would be working for was only one year older than me, and was someone that I had known for most of my life. When I was first introduced to my new boss, it took every ounce of willpower I had no to turn back and run home. It turns out Branden had just been named ambassador at only 27, and had somehow heard that I was also working for as a foreign officer, and had requested for me specifically to be his assistant.
I felt angry a I shook his hand. Hadn't they done enough ? Did they really have to torture me like this ? I kept a straight face as he held my hand a bit longer than he should have and tried to ignore the pulse of electricity that ran through me as he shook my hand.
« Hello Blue, it's good to see you again » He said as he looked me straight in the eye
« I wish I could say the same Branden » I replied, so much for staying professional.
« How have you been ? » He asked, ignoring my snarky remark
« Great actually, I've been great, I'm here after all aren't I ? And so are you so I'm assuming you've done well for yourself » I said cutting the conversation short
If I had been a polite person, I would have asked how Leo was doing, but I wasn't sure I even wanted to know. After five years, the wound was still fresh. We quickly transitionned into business when Branden understood that I wasn't in the mood for small talk. He was great at his job and I quickly understood how he climbed up so fast. When I finally got home that night, after putting the twins to sleep, I drew myself a bath and opened a bottle of wine, before crying myself to sleep in my bed.
The next few weeks were pretty much the same. I was as cold as ever, and Branden was as nice as ever, which reminded me of why I fell for him in the first place. Working with him and seeing how intelligent he was also drew me in more and more, and one night, I finally gave in. We had stayed exceptionally late to work and were the last two at the office. I was feeling exceptionally vulnerable as one of the twins, Lorelai, had been having a small fiever for the last few days, but I had no choice but to leave her with the babysitter with instructions to call me if anything happened.
We had exceptionally opened a bottle of wine since we were working overtime and at some point we had just decided to work on the floor since both the desk and the sofa in Branden's office were filled with paperwork. As I was reading one particularly hard file, I could feel his eyes on me.
« If you continue to stare at me like that, we won't get much work done you know ? »
« I'm sorry, I can't help… do you know that every time I see you, you get more beautiful ? »
« Seriously Branden, that line ? »
« I'm serious, you're even sexier than I remember »
« Shut up and let me work »
« Fine, but first you have to wipe that look of worry off of your face, it can't be work, this case is particularly complicated but nothing we can't handle, what is really bothering you ? » He asked, and I hated how he knew me so well.
I started panicking, as I hadn't told Branden or anyone in the office for that matter, that I had children. I was so scared that he would find out and take them away from me as they had taken everything from me in the past. As I was lost deep in my thoughts, I didn't realize when he got up from his seat across the room to come and sit next to me. It wasn't until he gently touched my cheek making me gasp in suprise that I realized he had gotten so close.
« N…nothing is wrong with me, I'm completely fine, don't worry about it »
« Fine, well, can you swear on it ? » He said, knowing that I would not do it it I were lying.
At that moment, I did the only thing I could think of to stop him from finding out, I kissed him. I instantly regretted it, because just as my lips touched his, sparks flew, and I realized I wouldn't be able to stop. He seemed surprised at fist but quickly deepened the kiss as if afraid that I would pull away at any given moment. But I didn't. And I couldn't. Because kissing him, touching him, being with him, felt like coming home.
« Up » He said as he suddenly stood up before taking my hand and helping me up
He walked towards his desk, my hand still in his, using his other hand to send all the paperwork flying. He pulled me flush against him my back against his chest as he kissed down my neck and his hands ..
« Bend over » He said, and I obeyed without hesitating
He pulled my skirt up and made a quick work of my panties and I heard him struggle with his belt buckle before, finally, penetrating me in one swift thrust. He waited for me to adjust, which I greatly appreciated for it had been a long time since I last had a man inside me.
« Fuck, you're just as tight as I remember » He said, before slowly thrusting in and out
He continued torturing with that rhythm for a moment, but after a while, it was like something inside of him broke and he started thrusting like a mad man. Before soon, we both came in unison, and Branden disposed of the condom I hadn't realised he had used. Too little too late, I thought.
« I'm sorry there was not much foreplay, but after all these years I just couldn't wait to be inside you » He said, gently caressing my hair.
« I… I need to go to the bathroom » I said as I straightened up from the desk and put my skirt back in it's place.
I don't know how long I stayed in there, trying to process what had happened. What it meant for us professionnaly and in our personal life. I nearly had a panick attack in the bathroom just thinking about what would happen if he ever found out what I had hidden from him, from them both. When I finally composed my self, splashing some cold water on my face, straightening my shoulders and trying to walk back in there as confindently as possible, I found Branden on the couch, my phone in his hand and an expression of shock on his face.
« How much time were you going to hide this from us ? »
« I don't know what you're talking about Branden, and what the hell are you doing with my phone »
« While you were in the bathroom, it kept ringing and you were in there for so long, and it seemed really important so I answered, it was the babysitter, she says one of the twins, Lorelai is running a fiever and it looks bad… why didn't you tell me you had children»
« I have no obligation professionally to tell you that I am a mother, Branden, and you know it » I said frantically searching for my bag so I could leave
« They are ours aren't they ? »
« No, Branden they are not, don't fool yourself thinking that you two are the only men I've ever been with, there were a lot after you » I lied
« Blue, you better not be lying »
« I'm not, now I really have to go, what time is it ? »
« 11 :30 »
« Shit, I just missed the last train »
« I can drop you off, I don't mind »
« No, I'll be fine, I'll call a taxi or something »
« I insist, Blue, what are you afraid of anyways ? »
« Yeah, you're right, thank you, I really appreciate it »
The whole ride, we were both silent, and Branden looked pretty pissed. When we finally pulled in front of my appartment building, I tried to get out as fast as possible, and I was surprised when he followed me.
« What are you doing ? »
« I just need to use the restroom, will that be a problem ? » He said
« No…of course not… why would it be ? » I said, panicking inside because I knew that as soon as he saw the twins he would know they were his, they looked just like their fathers after all.
I trembled as I opened the front door ,and was met with a worried looking Jenny.
« Blue ! I'm so relieved that you're here, I'm really scared the fiever got really bad really fast »
«It's fine Jenny, you can go home now. Is she in her room ? And where is Landon ? »
« Yes, I put her in bed but landon is watching some TV in the living room » she said, and as if on cue Landon came running from the living room into my arms
« Mommy ! Mommy ! Mommy ! Lolo is shick » He said
« I know sweety I'm going to see her right now, you need to go back to the living room and go watch some tv okay sweety ? »
« I don't want to stay alone mommy, I'm shcared »
« I'll go with you » I suddenly heard Branden say, and I knew at this moment that he knew.
« Who is this mommy ? »
« This is my friend Branden, you can go with him okay sweety ? »
« Okay, mommy » He said taking Branden't hand and leading him to the living room
I told Jenny to leave before rushing to Lorelai's room finding her wide awake and crying in her frozen themed bed. I touched her forehead with the back of my hand, she was burning up. I immediately called her pediatrician who gave me some instructions which I followed with extra care, before reading her a story so she could fall asleep. When Lorelai finally fell asleep, it must have been one in the morning. I found the courage to finally go to the living room and confront Branden.
I stumbled upon a sweet scene, as Landon was fast asleep on Branden's lap who was still watching some sort of cartoon. It was like looking at a younger version of Branden, for the only things Landon had taken from me was my golden skin and the slight curl of his hair. I could not bring myself to meet his gaze as I carefully took Landon from his lap and carried him into his bedroom. When I finally got out, Branden was still in the living room, waiting for me.
« So…let's get this straight, first, for 5 years you hide from us that we have children, and when I ask you about it you lie ? »
« I… I'm sorry»
« Why didn't you tell me Blue…why ? »
« I was afraid you guys would take them away…okay ? I didn't want to have anything to do with you and I could not bare the thought of losing them to the men I hated the most on this earth »
« I called him Blue »
« What ? Why would you do this Branden ? »
« He deserves to know Blue, he has the right to know »
« He probably has his own family now, and I'm doing just fine on my own, why do you guys always have to come into my life and turn it inside out »
« He's flying in tonight and arrives tomorrow, I'll stay here with you to make sure you don't do anything stupid like running away » He said ignoring my comment.
« Fine ! But you're sleeping on the couch »
« You know I'm not »
« If you think I'll let you touch me after all of this, you're badly mistaken » I said, as I made my way to my room and he followed me.
I took a random nightgown from my drawers before stomping to the bathroom and slamming the door. I groaned as I realised the one I had chosen was the sexiest I had. I had brought it on a whim while doing some practical underwear shopping. I stayed in the shower until the water turned cold, stalling as much as possible, before finally changing into the damned nightgown. When I emerged from the bathroom I found Branden still very much awake eyeing me hungrily while laying on my bed in only his boxers, his protuding member saluting me. I tried to hide my modesty the best this lacy babydoll would allow me.
« So you're trying to tell me that you don't want me to touch you, yet you are wearing this to bed ? »
« I can wear whatever I want to bed okay, now you sleep all the way there and I'm sleeping here » I said pointing to both extremes of the bed.
«Okay, fine by me » He said, giving in a little too fast in my opinion
« Good » I said before turning off the lights and walking to my side of the bed.
I should have known that it was only a ruse because almost as soon as my back hit the matress I found myself under Brandon, who had somehow managed to pull open my legs in the process and who was pinning both my hands above my head with one hand while the other made it's way under my nightgown to my center, his task rendered easier by the fact that I wasn't wearing any panties, having forgotten to take a pair to the bathroom. I gasped as he inserted two fingers into me.
«Here is how it's going to go. First of all, I'm going to fuck you, hard, because that's what you deserve right now. » He said as he thrust his fingers inside of me
« Second of all we're going to wait for Leo and talk seriously about all of this » He said ripping open the flimsy material of the nightgown and taking one nipple into his mouth until it was pebble hard
« Third of all no matter what comes out of this discussion, we will be in our children's lives, whether you like it or not » Giving the other breast the same treatment
« Fuck you, Branden » I said breathily, and he pinched my clit making me whimper
« No sweety, I'm going to fuck you » He said before slipping off his boxers and keeping his promise, fucking me so hard my skull hit the headboard repeatedly.
The next morning, I woke up to someone's mouth on my clit while his fingers thrust into me repeatedly under the covers.
« Hmmh, Branden, stop » I said, not meaning it one bit
It didn't take long for me to come under his ministrations. And I just laid there for a moment as if drunk from all this pleasure
« Hey, Blue, where do you put your spatulas, I'm trying to make some pancakes for the kids » Branden said as he suddenly burst into the room.
« What the fuck Branden, if you're here then who is under the covers ?! » I said sitting up
« Hey babe, long time no see » Leo said finally emerging from under the covers, fully dressed and his mouth coated in my juices.
I ran to the bathroom slamming the door. When I finally emerged, the room was empty which I was thankful for it allowed me to get dressed and compose myself a little before facing the horrible day ahead of me. As I entered the kitchen the sweetest scene was unfolding in front of me. Branden was making pancakes for the children and for Leo who were all sat at the table, waiting patiently. This gave me a window into what life could have been like, had they not betrayed me the way they did. Lorelai looked as healthy as ever, the dose of medicine prescribed by the pediatrician having worked wonders.
«Mommy ! » The children both said in unison as they finally noticed me standing in the doorway.
« Good morning my loves, I can see breakfast is already taken care of »
« Yes, your friend took care of it, look mommy he has a brother, and they are twins just like us ! » Landon said
« And they have the same eyes as us ! » Lorelai continued
« And hair ! »
« And nose ! »
« I guess you guys look alike a little bit » I said chuckling nervously
« Good morning Blue, want some pancakes » Branden said, and I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye
« Yeah…sure I'll have some pancakes »
I was silent the whole breakfast as the kids babbled away, telling Branden and Leo everything from their school life to their favorite toys and ice-cream flavor. They were surprisingly good with the kids, as I learned that while I was passed out, Branden had gotten up serveral times to check on Lorelai, and Leo had arrived early this morning and it was Branden who had let him in.
« How about, we go to the park today, what do you say kids ? » Branden said
« Yay ! » The kids exclaimed
« That way while the kids play, we can talk… » Leo said looking pointedly at me